[TheDragon]

Hello everyone, I would love some input if you have any.

Though never officially diagnosed, I am show 6 out of 9 criteria for narcissistic personality disorder (and two that are sometimes). This is starting to show more and more in my relationship. Whenever I get into an argument with my SO, I will start to feel more self centered, and when pointed out I feel the need to make myself seem more superior by being right or at least have higher standing. I do often feel as if the world revolves around me, but I have no idea how to change that. I simply find it impossible to put myself in "somebody else's shoes." This is really starting to take a toll on my relationship but it shows in many other areas of my life as well. What are some steps I can take to help prevent myself from falling deeper into narcissism when challenged? I want to work on that before full on looking at my life.

Thank you

[nowheretorun]

you have the abilty to feel connection, you are drawn towards others by the evidence of wishing for a functional and healthy relationship.. in this way you are capable of desiring and at times i imagine, attempting to make a connection to that which surrounds you, as evidence, your post here... that is not complete self centering but is instead a sign of healthy attachment efforts on your side.. you can continue to connect with caring others who will help guide you towards a shared feeling of co-community and in that way assist you in departing your isolation... best to you always and i hope you will stay a while with us and benefit here as i have..

[GrayNess]

Out of curiousity, what or who is a SO?

Anyways, there are different types of narcissistic people and narcissism. Some are less severe, so they can feel a bit more connected than other types. My father is diagnosed with NPD and I'm waiting for a phone call to take some tests for anti-social and narcissistic PDs. So, what I may say may be a mix of those two, probably a bit more anti-social but I'm not entirely sure. However, with a PD, it has to be like that for everyone and all situations, not just to 1 person. If it's like this only for 1 person while arguing, then I highly doubt you have NPD.

For me, it's quite basic. I do what I want to whom I want when I want. I do it because they have something or can do something for me and they're basically out in the open for the picking. I rank people on a scale or hierarchy, with myself being at the very top. People can be raised or lowered on it. If I do something it's always for 1 main purpose (although can also be for some others) but the main one is this: looking out for number one, myself. I am pretty lousy at putting myself in other people's shoes but there's a simple explanation: why should I? If I'm better than they are, have more power, they should try to put themselves in my shoes.

I guess one other reason why they say I could have NPD is I'm sarcastic to people, I look down upon them, I absolutely love power and control over something/someone, try to go with those who have more power (i.e. talk to the boss, not a janitor), etc... . I think that's a fairly short and nice summary without mentioning any damage done.

[nowheretorun]

do you practice these anti social behaviors still.. the physically harmful ones i mean?

[alyssa_angel]

SO = significant other aka partner

[Simcha]

Originally Posted by GrayNess

Out of curiousity, what or who is a SO?

Anyways, there are different types of narcissistic people and narcissism. Some are less severe, so they can feel a bit more connected than other types. My father is diagnosed with NPD and I'm waiting for a phone call to take some tests for anti-social and narcissistic PDs. So, what I may say may be a mix of those two, probably a bit more anti-social but I'm not entirely sure. However, with a PD, it has to be like that for everyone and all situations, not just to 1 person. If it's like this only for 1 person while arguing, then I highly doubt you have NPD.

For me, it's quite basic. I do what I want to whom I want when I want. I do it because they have something or can do something for me and they're basically out in the open for the picking. I rank people on a scale or hierarchy, with myself being at the very top. People can be raised or lowered on it. If I do something it's always for 1 main purpose (although can also be for some others) but the main one is this: looking out for number one, myself. I am pretty lousy at putting myself in other people's shoes but there's a simple explanation: why should I? If I'm better than they are, have more power, they should try to put themselves in my shoes.

I guess one other reason why they say I could have NPD is I'm sarcastic to people, I look down upon them, I absolutely love power and control over something/someone, try to go with those who have more power (i.e. talk to the boss, not a janitor), etc... . I think that's a fairly short and nice summary without mentioning any damage done.

Wow.
Most people with NPD do not share their views to people, they hide it. These views are not acceptable to society which is why you can't say them out loud.

At least you are honest over the anonymity provided on the internet... to a degree.

NPD is a defense mechanism to feelings of inferiority.

BTW, there are no tests to determine if one has NPD. Tests cannot ascertain a psychological disorder. They are only useful as adjuncts to assessment with a psychologist. You might have ASPD and NPD together. Personality disorders can and do come in pairs sometimes.

Relationships with people must not last long huh buddy?
Sad to live life alone, but you choose this life.

No, I don't wish you well... I wish you get better before you hurt people.

[Simcha]

Originally Posted by GrayNess

Out of curiousity, what or who is a SO?

BTW-- "SO" stands for "SIGNIFICANT OTHER".

[RiverX]

[quote=GrayNess;946455]Out of curiousity, what or who is a SO?

Originally Posted by GrayNess

Out of curiousity, what or who is a SO?

For me, it's quite basic. I do what I want to whom I want when I want. I do it because they have something or can do something for me and they're basically out in the open for the picking. I rank people on a scale or hierarchy, with myself being at the very top. People can be raised or lowered on it. If I do something it's always for 1 main purpose (although can also be for some others) but the main one is this: looking out for number one, myself. I am pretty lousy at putting myself in other people's shoes but there's a simple explanation: why should I? If I'm better than they are, have more power, they should try to put themselves in my shoes.

I guess one other reason why they say I could have NPD is I'm sarcastic to people, I look down upon them, I absolutely love power and control over something/someone, try to go with those who have more power (i.e. talk to the boss, not a janitor), etc... . I think that's a fairly short and nice summary without mentioning any damage done.

This does sound like NPD from what I've read, you got it right.
To stop things getting worse, as you said, I'd suggest, start by learning all you can about it. Theres Sam Vaknin for a start, he's really live and comprehensive. Theres only one bunch of T.s that I know of that I think go anywhere near far enough to understand this thing - thats the Masterson group, they're in various part of USA. You need to make sure that you're enged with someone who you cant manipulate, who's both firm and understanding I'd say. Like people have said, you've got some awareness, and the power and prestige that currently satisfies you, doesnt last, and ultimately doesnt satisfy hunger nearly as well as real relationships.

good luck with your journey.

river

[Sannah]

Dragon, is there some fear which is the basis to why you react the way you do in relationships?