[T.D.K]

As silly as it might sound. All i know i have is social anxiety, but no no, that's not what's been making me suffer.

I have this problem since i've had when I was 10 years old where I cry to bring back something good in my past. most people try to forget their bad past, mine is the opposite. whenever something or a goodmoment i have.. i get sad because i want to bring it back.

So right now i loved my life in 2011, I was doing all my daily routine and never worried about time or anything. homework done and everything and mostly playing video games with friends and yes adult surprisingly.

But now in 2014. I look back to 2011 and try whatever hard I can to return the moment but I realize the past will never come back and I tried accepting it but it didn't work. My friends moved on. i used to live in a quiet neighborhood and once ive noticed lots of people been living here and it's almost crowded during the day that also made me kinda sad, even the people i used to play with have moved on. everything completely changed and i just can't accept it, and now i feel like im more observant than living, worried about time so much and checking it instantly, back then id just do my thing and never checked the time unless I want to sleep but now I check it every 5 minutes with worried and felt like im 50% more observant than ever and it's been making me feel like im not even enjoy living, but just trying hard to live like I did. trying to move on i dont even know how.

So I'm not sure if this is a disorder or idk. :/

thanks in advance.

[kaliope]

hi tdk
does not really sound like a disorder to me. just living in the past, afraid of the future. do you have any goal for the future? anything to look forward to? we cling to the past when we can not see anything before us. welcome to psych central. you will find we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome

[T.D.K]

I dunno, growing up scares me. I sometimes I'd wish I can go back to being 15 year old.

I hated any new changes, it may be that, I've never been able to enjoy a present. Always thinking about past, but 3 years ago I remember correctly just enjoying what I'm doing and never cared about a thing called "clock" but now i feel like i just check it everytime and amazed (in a bad way) about how time goes by so fast.

[T.D.K]

So it's really complicated, even sadder about all my friends moving on and just doing their things and started smoking.. and it's like everythings changed. and it freaks me out.