[sky dancer]

I've focused a lot on addressing flashbacks, nightmares, panic attacks and negative memory of my childhood abuse.

What has helped me more has been to focus on bringing forward positive memory.

Times when I felt truly loved, and cared for, and listened to, and not judged nor shamed nor blamed.

I'm interested in hearing success stories.

I will share one brief one.

I had signed up for a massage while I was at a resort recently. The practioner was a stranger, a young woman and I found myself going into a judging place instead of just recieving the massage. I felt alienated, and I felt afraid. I couldn't tell where she was going or if she was even connected to me.

Then I was able to access the part of myself that remembers the love my partner feels for me, and who remembers being truly attended to with a non-judgmental awareness by a former therapist from many years ago. I was able to access that part of myself and turn it toward the frightened self.

Then I relaxed and enjoyed the massage without having 'requirements' of the practitioner.

Now when I am judged or misunderstood, I have this resource. I don't have to buy into shame or blame or fighting my feelings. I can recall these positive memories as anecdote to the negative ones.

Life, bring it on, I'm ready for you.

[Pomegranate]

You are so lucky to feel so energized and positive. I keep trying to get there but not many postive things happen to me, so I don't have many good, positive memories to choose from. It sounds like a good idea.

I do try to do that with my daughter. Her father "kidnapped" - he's a lawyer with many friends in the justice system and divorce courts - her from me when she was 9. I was able to start talking to her again when she was 15 but things were never the same, she was brainwashed to not like me.

I tried and thought we were making progress but 6 years ago she suddenly stopped talking to me and I have not heard from her at all since then.

Sometimes I try to reclaim the memories of my little girl that loved me. It works sometimes, I think it is starting to work more often as time goes on. At first I couldn't think about her at all without breaking down.

About 6 - 8 months ago I decided to own my good memories of MY little girl, the daughter I knew. Not the one who was formed by her father and some others who disliked like me so much. If I'm missing her too much it doesn't work, I just feel the loss more intensely by thinking of those good memories. But if I'm in a more stable mood, in a more accepting-of-the-way-things-are-now mind frame, I can think of those good memories and feel like she's mine again.

[phoenix7]

What a great thread - thankyou sky dancer

sorry pomegranate - maybe in time she will realise the truth and make contact

Don't know if this counts.. I had to have a CT scan - I was really panicky - triggered - and I could feel myself starting to get ready to leap up from the machine and run out !!! so I started trying to think of people and places I trusted to help me cope and put pics of them in my mind - the first 2 real T's I had and their offices came to mind and then my kitties and a friend I have found since I was attacked - I found myself calming down and able to complete the test - I still use the safe place safe person thing when I get scared - and my T even said she would steal it too!!!