being ignored

reminds me of when i was younger, how did people not notice? honestly? or did no one care enough?
still triggering, when it's like that again, when i lie and say "i'm fine" but honestly, why the hell do people believe that, can't they see i'm screaming here? why can't someone answer "are you sure, why don't we talk about it"?
regardless if that day i'm capable of talking about it, but just to feel like someone actually cares?

Unfortunately, many people take your word for being fine because they aren't in fine tune with people around them. They can't read people, or their minds, so have to take what they are saying is true. Others who know it's not true, feel completely helpless to help other people, so despite their concern don't do anything because they don't think it's within their power to do anything. There aren't many people sensitive to others and know they can help but still just don't care (I'd like to say there are none but it's not right to assume things like that).

Regardless of this though, it isn't right that you feel ignored either.

((((((((((((((( Griffe )))))))))))))))))

((griffe))) i myself do the same thing , sometimes say Im ok.
when I am not always.
You have to understand if your not ok. You have to say so thou.
Asking for help is a good thing.
of course ppl care, at least here we all do.
did you know
(you matter))))))))))))))))
did you know thats the truth
did you know if you want ppl to know honestly you hurt , you have to say so.
please take care of you

It's okay to say you're not okay!

Billi

always worried if i ask to talk, ask for support, say i'm not okay, i'll get in trouble. instead skirt around it, fake the smile, when do you know if it's okay to tell someone you're not okay? when do you know if someone is a good enough friend to ask them for help?

the past never really goes away, does it?

thank for you reading.

No, the past doesn't go away, but eventually it is overpowered with new good feelings and memories, and with the help of others is worked through, to the point where it doesn't hurt anymore.

If you get in trouble for saying you are not okay then those people shouldn't be in your life to begin with

((((((((((((((((( griffe )))))))))))))))))

Being ignored triggers me too brings back my childhood... sigh...

thats different to saying you're ok when you;re not though Griffe -

I think WE do that when we are scared we will be rejected - that we will say we are hurting and everyone will turn away.... here there will always be a soul to hear your cry - your pain willl speak to others pain and they will answer - maybe not straight away ... and that is a terrible thing... to wait to see if anyone is there - with all the time differences and sometimes you see people have looked and not left a reply - that tears my heart out - but usually its cos they dont know what to say to help or are in such a dark place themselves that they cant reach out for you lest they drag you in too.

Anyway -my dear kind friend - there are many here who care about you and im sure there are many IRL that do too - if you would only let them

I care! are you really ok? can I help? can we help?

Griffe, this is a really good thing to recognize and bring up to work on! Are these people asking you "how are you" like the greeting or are they really asking how you are?

.


Oh Griffe

This is such a huge trigger for me *huge*. I love the picture BTW.

I hope you take up Sannah's offer to work this through. I just want to share this untll you do.


I was bullied and rejected day in a day out in grade school. Its real important for me to acess a situation correctly. Many times I can't. I have to withdraw .

its a protective measure.

About others not being there and noticing . Yes I think when someone is being abused and no one notices it gives the message that this must be okay and my fault something to do with me..

I found an old diary with some entries from when I was in third and fourth grade. Right at the time The teacher found me crying in the bathroom from the class ganging up on me while she stepped out .

There was an entry where the teacher *called me at home* to speack to me. She wanted me to bring in My tree book. My class project was about Trees

I think i must have not wanted to return to school. I also wrote my neighbor Mary came in to watch me in class. And what a nice lady she was. aww isn't that sweet..

My mother was not there . She could not help me in anyway with the bullying and name calling. She really didn't know what to do and told me so when I would come home and cry in my bed after school lots of times. I think she couldn't face that she was doing the same thing to me also..

If I get ingnored now I rarely ask for someone to not ignore me . The one time i asked not long ago I got shot down and it hurt so much . I also get in situations where a friend has to hide me for some reason so the association has to be upheld so i get ingnored by them and it hurts . This happened to me with my freinds who sided with the bullying of me .

i have to be aware of allowing myself to be with those who may be ashamed of me. And it takes little ifact I may see it where it is not i can barely date because of this . im so afraid to tell anyone about my past now.

So I try to just give to others to get out of self if Im feeling hurt. I'm not sure its the best soultion always there has to be a balance .

Sometimes you just have to reach out and share about yourself . I saw a woman do it at the gym . She just butted right on in and shared and I thought . thats okay , Yea for her for sharing about herself .

She could have sat back felt hurt and ignored . Instead she took action , didnt ask to be heard just shared so she would be.


It's a good thing to practice giving . And it does relieve those hurt feelings when others intentionally ignore us or unintentionally.

Not everyone can be as purely giving as the Giving tree . its something to one day aspire to . Untill then I think for me when it comes to some asking to give up the trunk for the house I have to say ..
Uh find another tree..LOL!!!!!!!

what a great topic Griffe , you read my hurting heart . Thank you.

Patricia



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