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#1
Sep 22, 2009, 02:40 PM
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I have been elsewhere in the PsychCentral community, but have decided maybe this forum is where I need to be...also.
I suffer from PTSD due to significant emotional trauma covering my past 50 years, since I was a child. One of the issues that I am confused about today is...we (my psychologist and I) "pressed stop" on the "VCR"/my memory recall at the end of the hour today...he noted that I was able to share all the memories we had time for me to recall today WITHOUT emotion. Lots of anxiety, but not emotion...no tears. I only became emotional at the end when I referred to my therapy of that time (mid-80s) as continual non-stop Crisis Control...the only thing my therapist of that time ever had time for. (I no longer live in that State.) But suffice it to say after my childhood years, and my years with my son's violence, 1986 was the worst year of my life. There will certainly never be another like it. So this is beginning for me. I am just now at age 60 embarking on my PTSD understanding journey. I know it will no be an easy journey, but it is a necessary journey that I must wade through, no matter how long it takes and how painful it may be.
__________________
The kind of beauty I want most is the hard-to-get kind that comes from within - strength, courage, dignity. ~~Ruby Dee The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you might make one. ~~Elbert Hubbard |
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#2
Sep 22, 2009, 09:03 PM
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bigcasper,
Welcome to the PTSD forum. All are welcome. It can be tough to deal with. We are here to support you. 
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#3
Sep 22, 2009, 09:10 PM
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Hello bigcasper. Its kind of quiet over here tonight, so i thought I would give you a welcome. I do not understand why he expected you to have emotion. I find that sometimes we have the memories tucked away in order on the memory shelf and we store the emotions associated with them in another place. When recalling the memories the emotions do not have to be present.
I do wish you well on your new quest. Keep that positive attitude that you have. I find it is best to keep your goals small, so you can see that you are making progress. Good luck. |
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#4
Sep 24, 2009, 08:05 AM
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Thanks to you both.
reg, I thought that on my way home, but didn't know it made perfect sense. Thanks for confirming.
__________________
The kind of beauty I want most is the hard-to-get kind that comes from within - strength, courage, dignity. ~~Ruby Dee The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you might make one. ~~Elbert Hubbard |
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#5
Sep 24, 2009, 01:16 PM
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Welcome BC, your story sounds familiar. Did I ever meet you on Healthboards?????
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#6
Sep 24, 2009, 09:34 PM
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Sannah, may have. I left there months ago. Your name sound familiar.
__________________
The kind of beauty I want most is the hard-to-get kind that comes from within - strength, courage, dignity. ~~Ruby Dee The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you might make one. ~~Elbert Hubbard |
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#7
Sep 24, 2009, 09:45 PM
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HI Bigcasper and welcome
  After i was attacked i went numb i could tell what happened with no emotions because i was totally shut down - the feelings did come back.... this is a really great place to give and reciev support - i hope you will keep posting and letting us know how you are doing and if there are any questions we can help with let us know take care P7
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts  its how many times you get back up!  (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture  )When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
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#8
Sep 25, 2009, 10:27 AM
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Well, I wrote my homework; Chapter One.
Don't know what Chapter Two will be about, but I think I can easily guess. Suffice it tom say I don't think next Tuesday will be easy. The fact that I am both emotional detatched from it all, while highly anxious does bother me, but I guess this is normal? It has been many years. I have never worked on my PSTD before, so this will be what...interesting?
__________________
The kind of beauty I want most is the hard-to-get kind that comes from within - strength, courage, dignity. ~~Ruby Dee The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you might make one. ~~Elbert Hubbard |
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#9
Sep 25, 2009, 12:53 PM
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Sounds normal........
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
 Knitnut
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#10
Sep 25, 2009, 02:12 PM
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Interesting, disturbing, revealing, painful, etc. Keep a journal and maybe you can answer that one for yourself when you finish.
Quote:
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#11
Sep 26, 2009, 01:14 PM
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Welcome BigCasper
I have found that I too often recall things with no emotions, just feelings of anxiety for sharing the memories, and later, sometimes hours or days the emotions hit me hard, sending peaceful thoughts to you Sparrow |
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#12
Sep 27, 2009, 03:39 PM
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reg...I have begun doing writing as "homework" assigned by my psychologist.
__________________
The kind of beauty I want most is the hard-to-get kind that comes from within - strength, courage, dignity. ~~Ruby Dee The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you might make one. ~~Elbert Hubbard |
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