[MattRich]

Hello everyone,

I've been a reader of the boards for some time now, but recently decided to participate.

I'm a 29 year old male who has struggled with mental illness for about 5 yrs. now. The short story was that after a particularly stressful final semester in college (a difficult internship, a breakup with a girlfriend, the overall stress that accompanies leaving college and entering the "real world") I had a really sudden, acute onset of mental illness. It literally occurred within the space of a week. I was normal one day and suddenly within a few days I was worried, fearful, and unable to concentrate. My life has not been the same since.

I eventually saw a psychologist who though I had OCD. I even took Paxil for a year (which in no way helped.) For some reason I was never comfortable with the OCD diagnosis. I after a few years ended up seeing a different psych. who gave me a more through psychological screening said I had strong characteristics of PTSD.

I wasn't sold on this theory but it was intriguing. I read up on PTSD and found out that some symptoms fit me to a "T" and others did not. I had never been in combat, I had not experienced some sort violent crime or even seen one. I will admit that I had an fairly unhealthy childhood, which I read can lead to PTSD susceptibility. I will also admit that during that fateful final semester, I was probably drinking more than I should to deal with the stress.

I suppose what I'm trying to find out is if anyone has had similar experience and what has helped for them. Everything I read seems to address PTSD associated with combat or victims of violence.

Thanks for reading and look forward to discussions with with you guys.

[thunderbear]

I don't think you have to be a victim of violence to experiance trauma from it. You said you had an unhealthy childhood mabye something from your childhood caused trauma. It may not have seemed like a big deal back when it happened but mabye it affected you anyway in the long run.

[DangerMagnet]

I found some books at my local library that were about PTSD . I can't remember what the titles were but they might have more of what your looking for. Any tramatic event can trigger PTSD . Victims of violence and combat PTSD are two very common reasons. I'll check for those books when I go back to the library.

[VickiesPath]

Originally Posted by MattRich

Hello everyone,

I've been a reader of the boards for some time now, but recently decided to participate.

I'm a 29 year old male who has struggled with mental illness for about 5 yrs. now. The short story was that after a particularly stressful final semester in college (a difficult internship, a breakup with a girlfriend, the overall stress that accompanies leaving college and entering the "real world") I had a really sudden, acute onset of mental illness. It literally occurred within the space of a week. I was normal one day and suddenly within a few days I was worried, fearful, and unable to concentrate. My life has not been the same since.

I eventually saw a psychologist who though I had OCD. I even took Paxil for a year (which in no way helped.) For some reason I was never comfortable with the OCD diagnosis. I after a few years ended up seeing a different psych. who gave me a more through psychological screening said I had strong characteristics of PTSD.

I wasn't sold on this theory but it was intriguing. I read up on PTSD and found out that some symptoms fit me to a "T" and others did not. I had never been in combat, I had not experienced some sort violent crime or even seen one. I will admit that I had an fairly unhealthy childhood, which I read can lead to PTSD susceptibility. I will also admit that during that fateful final semester, I was probably drinking more than I should to deal with the stress.

I suppose what I'm trying to find out is if anyone has had similar experience and what has helped for them. Everything I read seems to address PTSD associated with combat or victims of violence.

Thanks for reading and look forward to discussions with with you guys.

Hello MattRich,

As you know, I'm not a professional anything. Except I tend to whine a lot. (Just kidding.) But, I've had depression, PTSD, was a child of alcoholic parents, and my official and I believe, correct diagnosis is Bipolar II. I've spent many years studying these disorders and am familiar with the symptoms. I would be happy to offer you the benefit of my experience because I tend to be pretty self-observant.

However, I have a few questions. In what field was your internship and how was it difficult? What symptoms did it cause? Did these symptoms have anything to do with the breakup of your relationship? How long had you been with your girlfriend? Had you planned to make it a permanent relationship, as in marriage? Who's idea was it to breakup? How long overall had you been drinking before all of this began to happen?

You don't necessarily need to answer these questions here but my experience has been that a good psychiatrist will ask these questions and more, many more plus evaluate symptoms that you are experiencing currently. They will also ask you at what point the symptoms began and they will ask you the progression of the symptoms. Some illnesses do have overlapping symptoms.

If you have PTSD as a result of combat or as a victim of violence, believe me, you would probably remember it distinctly. It sounds unlikely to me.

However, did your parents drink? If yes, that could set you up to drink excessively yourself and you could experience symptoms similar to PTSD which would make you an Adult Child of an Alcoholic. In the DSM-IV, the symptoms are virtually identical. Also, some old-school psychiatrists still refuse to recognize ACOA as a bonafide disorder.

You might want to read up on Adult Children of Alcoholics. There is a section here on PsychCentral with a lot of good information in it. Hope this helps a little.

[jooker]

Can anyone tell me, can you have PTSD without flashbacks? I think I have PTSD from an incident that happened when I was very young amongst other childhood events as well. However, I don't and never have had flashbacks, although other symptoms are present.

Perhaps helpful: http://www.nami.org/Template.cfm?Sec...ontentID=68642

The PTSD list of symptoms are just a guide. One doesn't have to have every symptom on the list to have this.
There in fact are new studies that have come out that say child abuse, and rape have higher incidents of PTSD than combat duty. A lot of times you don't always know why you are triggered, and a lot of times it has to do with something that has happened in the past.
There are many causes of PTSD,one just being a witness to violence or personal loss (like 9-11) on TV even. If you have most of the symptoms for quite a while, you probably have PTSD. I would get checked out by a doctor or a therapist.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by jooker

Can anyone tell me, can you have PTSD without flashbacks? I think I have PTSD from an incident that happened when I was very young amongst other childhood events as well. However, I don't and never have had flashbacks, although other symptoms are present.

yes you can have PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) without having flashbacks. here at the crisis center we see alot of people who went through hurricane Katrina. alot of them dont have flashbacks from their experience but do even now have anxiety/pamic attacks, fear of natural disasters, nightmares of losing their present homes because they were homeless for a time and some still are homeless.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by MattRich

Hello everyone,

I've been a reader of the boards for some time now, but recently decided to participate.

I'm a 29 year old male who has struggled with mental illness for about 5 yrs. now. The short story was that after a particularly stressful final semester in college (a difficult internship, a breakup with a girlfriend, the overall stress that accompanies leaving college and entering the "real world") I had a really sudden, acute onset of mental illness. It literally occurred within the space of a week. I was normal one day and suddenly within a few days I was worried, fearful, and unable to concentrate. My life has not been the same since.

I eventually saw a psychologist who though I had OCD. I even took Paxil for a year (which in no way helped.) For some reason I was never comfortable with the OCD diagnosis. I after a few years ended up seeing a different psych. who gave me a more through psychological screening said I had strong characteristics of PTSD.

I wasn't sold on this theory but it was intriguing. I read up on PTSD and found out that some symptoms fit me to a "T" and others did not. I had never been in combat, I had not experienced some sort violent crime or even seen one. I will admit that I had an fairly unhealthy childhood, which I read can lead to PTSD susceptibility. I will also admit that during that fateful final semester, I was probably drinking more than I should to deal with the stress.

I suppose what I'm trying to find out is if anyone has had similar experience and what has helped for them. Everything I read seems to address PTSD associated with combat or victims of violence.

Thanks for reading and look forward to discussions with with you guys.

You can have PTSD from almost anything it doesnt have to be a major trauma by other peoples standards or from combat or child abuse. example most people are not bothered by their parents having to go to work but we see a guy who's PTSD stems from feelings and fears of abandonment because his single parent suddenly had to go to work after her divorce when he was a child. Another client that came to the crisis center was in a car with a relative. the client was learning how to drive. they were at an intersection and this client perceived a moving vehicle in the next lane passing them as going to crash into them. there was no actual danger to the vehicle nor its passengers. this client is unable to get into a car and drive through high traffic zones without experiencing extreme anxiety.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by VickiesPath

If you have PTSD as a result of combat or as a victim of violence, believe me, you would probably remember it distinctly.

Just wanted to say that there are many many people out there including here on psych central that are victims of violence and do not remember it. for example there are still holes in my memories around the violence that I went through as a child and young adult. I repressed the abuse and violence I went through so well that I ended up with Dissociative Identity Disorder. These things I repressed included/ includes such things as child abuse, being at a school when a classmate decided to shoot up the place and kill many of us that were attending that school.

I have also read many case studies like how many of those that were in the colunbine school at the time of that situation have only bits and pieces of what they went through and some dont remember that whole day at all because it was so traumatic for them.

My father fought in desert storm. he has no memory of all the killing that went on over there and still goes through panic attacks when he hears a car backfire or a loud bang occurs. he tells us about this one time when he was face to face with the enemy. he knows he shot the guy at point blank to save himself and two others, but he only knows this because the two others thank him for saving their life that day. he has no actual memory of being on the ground with this enemy pointing a gun at him and his two friends yelling at them.

we are taught by the crisis center and our psych professors not to assume everyone remembers the violence and abuse they went through because most people who have gone through combat and are victims of violence do have some or all memory loss concerning what went on before during and after the violence and abuse because they have repressed those traumatic memories.

please dont assume everyone remembers if they went through combat/violence/trauma of any kind. it may be so in your case but there are many of us out here that don't have complete whole memories.

[VickiesPath]

Thank you very much, Amandalouise, for educating me where I was mistaken in assuming everyone remembers their trauma. In my case, I very clearly remember the trauma I have suffered but the emotional attachments to those events do not come with the flashbacks. I only remember the events but remember them in a state of being "numb". There was never a time when I didn't remember them and I suppose it is a blessing that I can separate the emotional response from the memory so easily. I do deal with the emotion eventually but am able to do so under a controlled environment.

[billieJ]

I believe that a combination of stressors could contribute to PTSD. In your case this might be a less-than-healthy childhood, internship, leaving college [changing worlds essentially] and the loss of an intimate relationship could combine to create the symptoms of PTSD. Congratulations on completing college and for coming so far as you have. I am familiar with the symptoms you describe and hope you will continue learnng and seeking any treatment which might be helpful for you. You will find good support here. billieJ

[pachyderm]

Some professionals use a diagnosis of Complex PTSD to distinguish long-term trauma, usually as a child, from combat-related PTSD or trauma from an individual event. Also, different people react to events differently, so that what produces a trauma in one person can have a different effect in another person. I know, for instance, that I and my two brothers have reacted differently to our common childhood experiences with a disordered mother. Matt, you might look up "Complex PTSD" to do some research on it.

[(JD)]

I'm sorry to hear you're in distress. Psych Central has quizzes that can help you along your path of a "label" for your symptoms.

One thing that remains constant for the dx of PTSD is the fear of dying during an actual trauma or the viewing of traumatic death. And while you say you don't have any such trauma, if all the rest of the symptoms fall in line, then perhaps you aren't recalling it. The psyche can bury and cover everything until you are able to handle it... and unless you are triggered by something, the trauma may not seem to be running your life.

Why not try a few of the quizzes here... http://psychcentral.com/quizzes/ and see if that helps you figure some things out.

[cuddlebear]

Hi i to have PTSD never was in a war or major crisis like a hurricane but i do suffer from it because of thing in my life somedays i have multiple flashbacks, and some anxiety, other days are fine without anything, I am on Zoloft and clonzaapm which is suppose to help me feel better and not not gave so many symptoms but sometime i do so i try relaxtions things like that you may find could help you as well take care.

[amante]

Matt,
Sending positive vibes your way, I hope you can keep on working with a good T to see if they can uncover the root of what is happening with the OCD and PTSD, I was told PTSD is a difficult condition to treat.

[Pomegranate]

I grew up in an alcoholic, violent, neglectful, verbally & emotionally abusive and sexually abusive home. I always had problems coping with life. I did okay though until my mid 20's when, like you, seemingly overnight everything changed. And nothing has been the same since. I started with a dx of schizoaffective disorder and now have a diagnosis of PTSD. The PTSD pretty much explains all of my problems and feels right to me.

What has helped me was the invention of zoloft (in particular) and anti anxiety meds. Then learning about things like being an adult child of an alcoholic, learning about living in a family that had at least 2 generations of incest going on, and doing a lot of reading on alcholism, depression, relationships and family, incest survivors.

Also going to self help groups like AA, Alanon, ACOA, EA (emotions anonymous) and other mental health support groups. Also going to therapy as needed over the years. I no longer attend any support groups. But I learned much about myself and learned many coping skills to deal with living via all my reading, researching and group attendance. I am still learning. I still take meds, will for the rest of my life. And need to use the coping skills I've learned every single day of my life. Feel free to PM anytime. Good luck.