[michele#3]

I went off today on a woman who has been harassing me for the 6 to 9 months. I just walked by her while I was walking my dog. I was saying nothing to her until she said "get outa here" as she usually does. Now I have to say that she says this everytime I go by and it's getting really tiresome. This all started when she said something about "my damn dog".
I do have to mention that she goes off on about everyone and everthing and that she's developmentally disabled as well and has been in jail once for stabbing someone with a fork because she thought they were looking at her boyfriend.
The worst of all of this is that today when she started yelling at me I went off and yelled at her and called her a ***** and gave her the finger. Now, this behaviour on my part makes me concerned. I don't like acting this way and I know given the right circumstances I could be very dangerous and I don't want to do anything to jeopardized my life in any way. I come through too much to want to lose what I do have now.
I think what I will do is try to get a restraining order. The only problem I see in this is that I don't know here full name or exactly were she lives. In any event I have called the police and they are sending an officer over. I just wish I didn't have to resort to this.

[babydoll233]

You should have went off a long time ago, who does this person think she is?? I am so tired of the human race, everyone is so mean to eachother, you had to say something, you need to stand up for yourseld, enough is enough! I hope it all works out, dont feel bad about blowing up, she sure doesnt....

[michele#3]

Yeah I agree Babydoll I should have gone off a long time ago on her. That's one of my problems I hold things in for too and then I explode. And I don't want to explode. That's because when I do I can do some serious damage and the reprecussions I'm sure would be serious. Anyway, because of all of this I'm angry, sad, afraid, and confused.
Part of me wishes someone else would go off on her and do harm to her. I know that's unkind. I just wish I would all end.

[amante]

I am glad you opened up and yelled back at her. can you pick times when she's not around to walk your dog. Perhaps by you biting back, she'll keep her distance and avoid you. Good for you sticking up for yourself. She sounds like a bully.

[michele#3]

Yeah, I'm trying to walk the dog earlier in the morning and therefore avoiding her. The only problem is sometimes I'll run into someone I know and will talk to them and because I'm a pretty talkative and somewhat lonely person the conversation will go on. Because of that I'm afraid she'll show up. Oh well, so far I haven't seen her today.
I did learn some interesting things about her from one of my neighbors. It seems that she was married once (much to my surprise. I mean who would want to marry some who is definately retarded and has a serious anger management problem, too). The person telling me this told me that she was very abusive torwards her husband and that he felt she might have been responsible for his death (his opinion but I'm not sure I entirely disagree). Hmmm... Makes you wonder about how come she's not institutionalized somewhere.

[(JD)]

Restraining orders cost money.
Plus, if she is developmentally disabled she won't understand or be able to comply.
I'm sorry your PTSD caused you to react to someone that may not be able to control herself either.

Try to make friends?
you know the adage, keep your friends close and your enemies closer?
You said she does aberrant behavior with everyone ...
try and use that as meaning you don't need to take this personally ...
that it was your PTSD fears of safety and not really an unsafe situation.
How would you treat her if she were in an institution you volunteered at?
It's tough to retrain for these types of situations,
but keep trying, you can do it.

[michele#3]

Sky, I'm not sure making friends with her is an option. That's because one minute she's friendly and apologetic for her behaviour and the next she mean and abusive. I know this because about a year ago she hugged me and apologized to me for her actions and then a few days later she started up again with her outrageous behaviour.
And a restraining order they cost money as you said. And that I don't have. I guess the best thing I can do is to try to avoid her and like you say not take it personally when she goes off.

[AShadow721]

Well, I was told by the police that the protective order and court fees would have to be paid by the offender. You didn't ask for this woman to treat you this way. Why should you have to pay for her to stop, leave you alone, or prevent her form doing you harm? That wouldn't make since would it? Abusers go through cycles. They go through a "honeymoon" phase and that is why she tried to apologize to you and then went right back to her negative ways. Please, do not try to be friends with this woman!! You should never try to be friends with someone that is abusive to you in anyway. She sounds very dangerous. She obviously displays the patterns typical to abusers. It may just be gossip, but she may have quite possibly been abusive to her husband, and may have had something to do with his death. That is not good at all. You should not keep "enemies" close enough that could harm you. When you have PTSD, you need to only be around trustworthy people. I'm glad you stood up for yourself. Try doing it more so that you don't explode, when it becomes absolutely necessary to say enough is enough. I'm also glad you called the police. Hopefully it will scare her enough so that she'll leave you alone. Good luck and good job.

[laura2]

Originally Posted by michele#3

Sky, I'm not sure making friends with her is an option. That's because one minute she's friendly and apologetic for her behaviour and the next she mean and abusive. I know this because about a year ago she hugged me and apologized to me for her actions and then a few days later she started up again with her outrageous behaviour.
And a restraining order they cost money as you said. And that I don't have. I guess the best thing I can do is to try to avoid her and like you say not take it personally when she goes off.

amante is right, she is a bully, they come in so many different forms, her mental health should not excuse her, you should not have to worry about bumping into her, & never knowing which way she may go, well done for standing up to her, she will know she's over stepped the mark, keep that line drawn, if she crosses it again hold your nerve, you shouldnt have to put up with that, i've been in situations where my reaction has surprised or frightened me, but my T always said, this is no surprise when you are under any sort of threat, you have to look after yourself.

[michele#3]

Thanks for all of the kind words and advice. Some of what was said I absolutely agree with. Still I wonder why she's still walking the streets.

[Secret]

Originally Posted by michele#3

Thanks for all of the kind words and advice. Some of what was said I absolutely agree with. Still I wonder why she's still walking the streets.

She is probably still on the streets because she is intellectually handicapped.
1. As long as she can take care of her physical needs she won't be institutionalized.
2. Her handicap may make her be concidered incompetent to stand trial for any offenses.
So unless she is concidered a physical threat to herself or others she will remain "on the streets." (verbal abuse doesn't count.)

I know this doesn't help you out much, but the same laws keep many of us from being institutionalized. "Going off" on her is maybe the only way to reach her to say "what you are doing bothers me". Avoiding her is a solution, but don't change your live to do it.