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#1
Apr 03, 2010, 07:17 PM
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Ever since I raped and told to leave the church I was attending. I've avoided churches and religious gatherings or worship. Not sure what I believe anymore. It was 9 years ago. This year my kids want to go to church tomorrow with my fiances family. His family doesn't know about my PTSD. They now that I have some mental issues but they don't know what they are. When my kids asked if we could go I said yes. I thought of all the churchs in the charleston area there was no way it would be the church that made me lose my faith. Guess I should have known my luck wasn't that good. Tomorrow at 11am I will set foot in the church that told me I wasn't raped, that I was hurting a true man of god by saying he raped me. I'm afraid tomorrow I'll walk in the door and pass out the moment I see some on that reminds me of the past. I want to cut now. My fiance was called in to work so out side of his family(who doesn't know) and my kids (who are 7 and 5) making it through tomorrow is all in my hands. Someone please tell me how I can get through this.
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#2
Apr 03, 2010, 07:21 PM
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Hello, DangerMagnet. Hope you can get through this without being triggered.
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#3
Apr 03, 2010, 08:19 PM
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(((((DangerMagnet))))) Will be thinking of you tomorrow!!
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#4
Apr 03, 2010, 08:32 PM
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((((((((((dangermagnet)))))))))))
Sometimes my T works with me on recognizing that the fear I am feeling is OLD fear...that the bad things aren't happening now. It feels so NOW, you know? I wonder if maybe tonight you can remind yourself of that? You are safe now. You are powerful, you will be surrounded by people who love you and who would protect you if anything bad happened. If it's too much, it's okay to send your kids along with your fiance and his family. You don't *have* to go. You can say (honestly!) that you just don't feel well but that you'll see them when they get home. Take care of YOU. 
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#5
Apr 04, 2010, 12:56 AM
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Its nice to know that people have your back. The new day has hardly started and I'm up having trouble sleeping. No nightmares. Just feeling anxious. I almost feel like I'm not in my body. Hopefuly sleep will come soon.
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#6
Apr 04, 2010, 07:40 PM
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I did ok. I had to go outside a few times take some deep breaths. I still feel a little paranoid. But I think I did pretty well. So go me!!
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 Catherine2
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