[googley]

I hate anniversaries. I hate the month of April. I hate the bad memories it brings up. The way it makes me feel. The dirtyness I feel. I hate the spiral I end up in. Why can't I have my life back?

Hello, googley. Use the negatives to fuel the charge to take your life back.

On a bad anniversary, is there any way to do something good? Maybe start a positive tradition that will balance out the bad memories? For example, on my youngest daughter's birthday (she died as a baby) we always have a little celebration. We still put up a stocking for her at Christmas. That kind of thing. The anniversary of the day she died, I do the same thing. Go out and eat in a nice restaurant, go to a movie (usually a funny one) or whatever.

[googley]

Originally Posted by LovebirdsFlying

On a bad anniversary, is there any way to do something good? Maybe start a positive tradition that will balance out the bad memories? For example, on my youngest daughter's birthday (she died as a baby) we always have a little celebration. We still put up a stocking for her at Christmas. That kind of thing. The anniversary of the day she died, I do the same thing. Go out and eat in a nice restaurant, go to a movie (usually a funny one) or whatever.

The problem isn't the exact day. I dissociated when it happened, so except for knowing that it happened the last Thursday of April, I don't know anything more exactly. So it just sort of hangs over the whole month. I hate the nightmares.

((((googley))))

[dee6445]

I hate Christmas, Easter, Mother's Day, the month of June, parent teacher conferences, birthdays - you get the gist. The meaning that they have for other people is not the meaning that they have for me - and why should they! My experience with them is different. I don't want to have to feel bad about that too!

[DangerMagnet]

Annaversaries Suck! I know the day mine happened but the whole month is bad. Its full of nightmares and flashbacks. I'm lucky to have a wonderful fiance that is very supportive. Even though I will kick and hit him while having a nightmare or flashback. If you need to talk I'm happy to listen. ((((((Googley))))))

[celli]

Originally Posted by googley

I hate anniversaries. I hate the month of April. I hate the bad memories it brings up. The way it makes me feel. The dirtyness I feel. I hate the spiral I end up in. Why can't I have my life back?

Hey, I lost months due to dissociation too and am baffled by some of the things that trigger me ... like being in a grocery store & seeing a PF Chang appetizer, I go right back to when I was friends with the the work cohorts, went to lunch with them at PF Chang, who ultimately ensured my rough time would become unendurable and whose actions are I think largely responsible for the fact that I'm now on SSDI and long-term disability through by employers. But I think I am gradually getting a little better and that there may be some hope longterm. Best to you. Celli