do i have PTSD ?

[im still not exactly sure how/when to use this, but trigger, i think]

well, im not exactly sure on this, but lately something's been bothering me about when i was like 9 or 10...

once, when i was visiting my dad, he and my stepmom left me at their home with my then 14-ish year old sister while they went to work. my stepsister had a guy come over [i dont think they ever dated] and i think he was a bit messed up in the head... not sure what all was said anymore, but eventually he pulled a knife outta the silverware drawer. i think he was trying to be 'funny', but i got scared, really scared and my stepsister just laughed. i got super freaked when he acted like he was going to like stab me and he held it to my throat so i ran into the bathroom and i wouldnt come out and my stepsister kept calling me a baby and stuff, and i evntually came out when i felt safe. i kept my distance from them until he left.

i never told anyone this, not my dad or friends. i never, ever talked to my stepsister about what happened that day. but like in september last year, i went to my dads, and she was there and i havent thought about since then, but i remembered it and i was afraid to be alone with her. and i keep thinking about it >.<

so, im not exactly sure what to call this. i dont know if im just obsessing like usual or not. whats wrong with me?!
help please >.<
~Danni

Obviously, this was a traumatic experience for you, but not all traumatic experineces cause PTSD. PTSD has many symptoms and it usually affects someone's whole life and impairs their ability to function normally. You have to have a number of different symptoms of hyperarosal, re-experiencing, and avoidance to be diagnosed with PTSD. A hyperarosal symptom you experienced is the constant memory of the trauma while you were around your step-sister. An avoidance symptom would be not wanting to be alone with your step-sister. I'm not going to say it's not PTSD, you should see a T to diagnose this. But I would think that you would also be afraid going around that area of town where it happened, that house, knives, someone else opening the silverware drawer, or anything brushing against your thoat if you had PTSD. If these memories are seriously and negatively affecting your life, then you should talk to a T about it.

As with what AShadow said, not all traumatic experiences can cause PTSD. That will depend on the level of severity in the situation as well as the individual persons coping skills.
Look at what kinds of symptoms you have from this, there are a certain amount of symptoms you need to have to be classed as PTSD. For example nightmares, especially relating to the traumatic situation, avoidance (in your situation maybe avoiding situations where knives may be involved, or certain people), triggers and flashbacks (to give you an example because I found it hard to understand what a flashback was when I was initially diagnosed- I was abused my someone who had a temper, an absolutely demonic anger and he'd get in my face and scream. So one of my triggers is any sort of anger or nastiness directed at me, if someone gets mad at me for anything my heart starts pounding, I start shaking, I cry, and if someone gets REALLY mad at me I can get suicidal, and it can all last for up to 2 or 3 days. Of course it's not always that severe. But to try and explain what it is like- you know when you smell something, etc. that reminds you of someone's house from the past, a time in your childhood, and that nostalgia comes over you and you feel like you're there again? A flashback is a bit like that, except, you know, not exactly enjoyable. I hope that makes sense). There is also hypervigilance, so being extremely edgy around someone with a knife (keeping yourself on guard in case they might suddenly attack you).

These are a few symptoms of PTSD,it's not impossible that you have it, as you would have felt as though you're life was at risk. It is definitely something you should talk to a T about, they can tell you all the symptoms and discuss how you feel about what happened.

thanks for all this
i wouldnt say knives trigger really because, well, who isnt exactly afraid of people with knive? also, ive si'd in the past so what happened isnt whats on my mind when i see a knife. opening silverware doesnt freak me out; im not really paying attention when i do open it or others do. seeing my stepsister does freak me out, 'specially whenever we have to stay/sleep in the same room because she's also a cutter & i know what she keeps in her bag so im always afraid to go to sleep o.o she's a very.... weird sister and i dont trust her very well. ive never gotten triggered at the house because my dad moved while i was living with my mom [i only visit him rarely]. um, ive had nightmares on it before, but last night was the most recent and i dont think i'd ever seen his face so clearly before in one before & i couldnt go back to sleep once i woke up..
i dont know exactly if i can talk to a T cause my parents are clueless about anything that goes on with me. not this, not si, nothing.. so, i think they'd be confused if i said i wanted to talk to one for possible PTSD [and other]

It sounds as though it might not be PTSD, or if it was a very mild form. Of course I'm not in a position to diagnose you, only to give you suggestions. Here is a more informative list of symptoms for you-

Re-experiencing the traumatic event

• Intrusive, upsetting memories of the event
• Flashbacks (acting or feeling like the event is happening again)
• Nightmares (either of the event or of other frightening things)
• Feelings of intense distress when reminded of the trauma
• Intense physical reactions to reminders of the event (e.g. pounding heart, rapid breathing, nausea, muscle tension, sweating)

PTSD symptoms of avoidance and emotional numbing

• Avoiding activities, places, thoughts, or feelings that remind you of the trauma
• Inability to remember important aspects of the trauma
• Loss of interest in activities and life in general
• Feeling detached from others and emotionally numb
• Sense of a limited future (you don’t expect to live a normal life span, get married, have a career)

PTSD symptoms of increased arousal

• Difficulty falling or staying asleep
• Irritability or outbursts of anger
• Difficulty concentrating
• Hypervigilance (on constant “red alert”)
• Feeling jumpy and easily startled

Other common symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder

• Anger and irritability
• Guilt, shame, or self-blame
• Substance abuse
• Depression and hopelessness
• Suicidal thoughts and feelings
• Feeling alienated and alone
• Feelings of mistrust and betrayal
• Headaches, stomach problems, chest pain

If you talk to a T about this or SI, your parents don't need to know anything about it, it is not the T's position to inform them of anything unless you specifically request so.

Evening had a very good post,

Nobody here can diagnoise you, only a mental health professional in real life can.

If this memory is bugging you and your struggling with other mental health concerns I encourage you to seek out help, the sooner the better, I know I wish I had spoken up when I was younger over my mental health concerns, maybe I would be a bit better off than I am now.

Best Wishes
Typo