[grizmom]

I don't know if this is the PTSD or something else, but I want to ask if anyone else feels this way...

I am 35 years old and on disability because of my mental health issues. Whenever I am around adults that have children or are able to work, I feel like I am not a peer but more like they are the "grown-up" and I am just a kid. I generally only feel comfortable around others with mental illness or with children. Maybe it's because I can relate better with them than with "normal" adults? I just wondered if I'm the only one who feels this way. Thanks for responding...

[perpetuallysad]

I can understand that feeling. Certain types of people make me feel like "a kid" (I'm 34) or extremely inferior. I feel guilt and a whole lot of self hate for not having a job and I tend to get really snotty (mostly in my head) and pissed at random people because somehow they are able to work and I am too freaking weird...I always feel more comfortable around kids, well, not teenagers...but younger kids are great. Maybe its because I have a 9 year old?

Anyhow, I have no clue what qualifies as PTSD or not, so I cannot answer that, but you aren't alone with the feeling. I tend to think of it more as feeling inferior, rather than as a kid, but I think its similar to what you are describing.

[Evening]

I know exactly what you are talking about, I feel the same way, although it's all really hard to explain. I was told I had adult-child syndrome. But I also think it's part of my flashbacks, some of them make me feel the way I did when I was 12. I can't have a relationship because I feel like a kid in intimate situations and I feel disgusting. I think I can't have sex because I keep remembering that I was a child once and it makes me feel so dirty. I can't think of ME doing that. Around certain people I feel different, like a different person. Some people I'm really confident around, almost *****y, others I'm really hyper, others I feel really insecure and small. It frustrates me so much.

[AShadow721]

I feel exactly the same way. Most people I know don't really understand me, because of my trauma and mental illness and other things. It makes me feel alienated from the world. I too cannot work because of my mental illness and it makes me feel like a loser. I konw I'm not. I know I'm just suffering, but some people don't understand and think that I should be able to do things that people without my issues could. I hate the feeling of judgement from others, so I shouldn't be judging myself or comparing myself to other people. I've been terribly damaged and the way I've been affected by my experiences are unique. I can only get back on my feet through healing.

[grizmom]

I'm not glad other people feel like this also, but I am glad I'm not alone. I see my sister chatting with our aunts and uncles and grandparents like she is ... I don't know ... just another adult, and I feel awkward when they talk to me. I keep hoping someday I will feel differently and be able to relate to other adults as their peer.

Like the broken record and keep on playing:

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/sel...9/METHOD=print
http://psychcentral.com/lib/2009/15-...e-distortions/

Comparing the status of our mental illnesses distracts us from the work we can do to make our lives better. That is the goal, not keeping up with the Jones.

Good luck.

Grizmom, As you develop self esteem and reclaim the autonomy that is yours to claim;

You will feel ---actually, all these others you compare yourself to--you will be stronger than they are. "Normal" is relative term. You will be you, and capable of relating to everyone--the stigma of being "less Than" will leave; you will be by far the stronger person in most situations because of what you have gone through.

I know i feel this way-now--and I don't give a rip what others think of me either!!!

I'll do what feels good for me, and that is usually being present in the moment with
my dog, a book, a new knitting pattern, and i can be around anyone now, without that awful feeling of "less than"--you will see-we are all unique--(((grizmom)))

[perpetuallysad]

I have to beg to differ with you on that one Byz. I think that for me, as I cannot speak for anyone else, I've never known anyone else who's admitted to mental illness and was in treatment. So a lot of the things I do, I have wondered about and many of the things make me feel much, much weirder than I probably am. Mostly because I feel so alone and disconnected. Sometimes just having another person say "I do that too!" can greatly reduce the amount of stress I put on myself to appear more normal, because for good or bad, having one other person in the world to relate to helps me feel better. I believe its a human characteristic to look for people who are similar to you.

Now, I will agree that trying to fit yourself into ANY mold, whether that be of a mentally ill person, or anyone else, you can obviously head down a bad path of trying to mimic someone else.

[grizmom]

Originally Posted by perpetuallysad

I have to beg to differ with you on that one Byz. I think that for me, as I cannot speak for anyone else, I've never known anyone else who's admitted to mental illness and was in treatment. So a lot of the things I do, I have wondered about and many of the things make me feel much, much weirder than I probably am. Mostly because I feel so alone and disconnected. Sometimes just having another person say "I do that too!" can greatly reduce the amount of stress I put on myself to appear more normal, because for good or bad, having one other person in the world to relate to helps me feel better. I believe its a human characteristic to look for people who are similar to you.

Now, I will agree that trying to fit yourself into ANY mold, whether that be of a mentally ill person, or anyone else, you can obviously head down a bad path of trying to mimic someone else.

Thank you!! I almost didn't come back here after Byz posted that. I thought this was a forum for support and to find people who can relate, and after I read that I felt like I was being told I wasn't trying hard enough to improve my situation. I don't start seeing my new therapist for another 2 weeks and it's been quite awhile since I've been in therapy, and never for these issues. BUT I have managed to recover from anorexia and I've kept trying new meds for 18 years to get my bipolar under control. So I am working on getting "better". I'm not trying to fit into any mold, I just want to be the best "me" I can be, and finding others who can relate and maybe give advice on how they've overcome these issues is helpful to me.

If I'm not welcome here, then I hope you all will tell me. Sorry to distract anyone from their recovery, it was not/is not intended.

[perpetuallysad]

I am probably speaking out of turn (I seem to do that all over the place today), but I am fairly sure that Byz wasn't trying to make you feel badly or unwanted. Don't feel badly for asking a question. I do the same thing often.

[Julial]

(((grizmom))) I am always asking my t if what I am feeling or not feeling is "normal". I, too, can feel out of sync when I am uncomfortable with different groups of people (mostly adults). I am 52 yrs old and find that I communicate best with children and adults with mental issues. I don't think I am making comparisons with others; I am just looking for acceptance. I do suffer from pstd and incest abuse but on good days I am making progress. I have found the older I get, the more research I do, and the more I talk to my very decent t, the clearer my path is. It will happen, grizmom, for you. Keep the faith.

(((grizmom)))--(((perpetuallysad)))--we are so very sensitive here--i know the Byzantine meant to say that you shouldn't compare youself with others--you are unique--you don't have to be like those you see-your cousins etc.. You don't have to keep up to the others---he meant (i think) to reassure you that you do not have to "keep up with the Jones". to go easy on yourself---i believe he meant it kindly- and not to upset you. You took it your way; as you are very vulnerable to any sort of criticism rightnow....and it sounded like criticism to your sensitive ears and spirit--
i can see how it might do that.

When first i came to this forum, i wrote my five posts and onlyThe Byzantine paid any attention to them. He is often cryptic in his comments, and replies- but he always means to be kind and helpful--i felt like you at first--that he was criticising me, and
felt like backing off--but, after thinking on it, i learned to be objective, and see his view of me--it was helpful in the end-very much so-----(((grizzmom)))-theo

Postscript: if you chek out the sites hegave you--they are all about CBT---and the negative distortions we make of things that are not negative at all---CBT has helped meBIG TIME!!!