[Kiya]

Twice now I've needed maitenence in my apt and he's supposed to CALL before he shows up. Twice he's just SHOWN UP at 10am. I'm not functioning at that hour and twice have been in my pjs. the first time i let him in.
THIS TIME, i was about to be in the shower. I didn't see who it was, I didn't answer - it scares me to have ppl at my door. He went away and i nearly relaxed my guard - but what if the person came back??? I waited. sure enough! he came back with a KEY to get in!!!! I heard the main door open and looked thru the hole and saw him getting the key out. Thamkfully he knocked and i yelled in my sleepy voice "who is it" and said he couldn't come in. he said you've got some problem and i have time now. I said hang on and got a robe and even tho i've been up an hour, i protrayed myself as having just got out of bed, rubbing my eyes (forgetting there's SI marks there damn it to which his eyes kept straying). I told him he's suppoed to CALL first!!! He said he has time now why can't he see the leak (IN THE SHOUWER) I told him i've got to shower and run (to group and there's no ****ing way now I will be able to shower cuz i'm no too freaked out!!!! He would ahve come in my place! WIth me in the shouwer! Has this happened before?!? Will this happen again!??!?! He's NOT supposed to come in with out permission or without me being here. **** **** ****!!!!!). He said he'd have time today - i told him LATER. and that the leak is huge and that the wall is gonna fall in. He said it's my upstairs neighbor's problem and went to her place (she sleeps by day!!!).
OMG i am just shaking and AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Makes me mad, makes the ptsd crap surface again, makes me on edge..... I now have to leave in half an hour and I'm still sitting here shaking. Damn.

[Perna]

I would get a chain lock, if nothing else; that way he can't come in if you're home, even if he has the key. That's really too bad, I'd write a letter to management, reiterating he's supposed to call first! (Of course, if you don't answer the phone then he'll think you're not there and come in to fix whatever, since he doesn't want to be in your way in the first place). Maybe insist on making an appointment time?

[Kiya]

I wonder if we're allowed to get chain locks.... I really like that idea... Maybe this is one of those "better to ask forgiveness later than permission now" kinda things... hmmm and there's a hardware store just down the road.... Thanks Perna!

[Perna]

It shouldn't be a problem since you can't lock it if you're not there. If it becomes a problem, casually get the police involved :-) I think they'll be able to lean on the management so management thinks it's an okay idea. Just for "spite" I think I'd get management involved anyway (since he never called and TWICE messed you up) and make them pay/install it!

[(JD)]

If you can't get a chain lock, you can buy one of those bars that lean against the floor and force pressure under the handle. The problem with that is if you need rescue and they can't get in. I like the chain idea better because then the super knows you're home, but rescue could still break it open.

IT is totally in step with PTSD to have trouble with having people into your home. After 24 1/2 years, (and plenty of good therapy) I still have issues, like with the census taker. grrrr.

It isn't them...it's PTSD. "Damn" PTSD, that's what causes the over reaction to other people's insensitivities.

You're ok. You have every right to make them call or send them away when it isn't convenient. Remember, people who do those jobs often have those jobs for a reason. They might do a terrific job, but aren't able to do other types of work because they work alone best?

Breathe. You did fine. It's your home and it HAS to stay a safe place for you.

[googley]

((((((Kiya))))))

I'm so sorry that happened. They should call first!

[Kiya]

I went and told the new manager tonight (he sorta just stared at me and asked me if I wanted him to tell his super *sigh*). As it is the weekend, NOW i can take a shower, I know no one will come in "off hours". But his super gets back on monday and I will also make sure she heard from him and ME. Still thinking about that chain... was in no ability to make that decision or trip to that store today (ok damn ptsd).

Am pretty ill tonight just from the stupid auto-cope skills that I clearly do not yet have a handle on. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. It's all well and good in 7 years of T to have created "better coping mechanisms" but when the **** hits the fan, I get to see how many don't work. yaaay.

*Brush it off..* NO! because when I also told the resident SW dude he kept putting imphasis on "it DIDN'T happen. all's well." Well it bloody well ISN'T well!!! Had i not already been having a ptsd attack and stalling on my shower, it would have happened. Fact is, has it happened before? I sure wouldn't know!! I take long showers! For all I know the guy could come in here when I've not been at home! ARUGH!!!!!
"Do you want me to tell upper management?" *smack* YA THINK!? *breathe*
'you want someting done right, you gotta do it urself!' (thinking Sebastion from Little Mermaid).

[skeksi]

Kiya, good for you for telling the manager and planning to talk to the super. It's your right to be safe in your home and to arrange a time for repairs that is to your convenience.

I went through the same thing with one of the apartments I lived. It was hard. Defending yourself the way you have is awesome.

[thunderbear]

UGH i know how oyu feel..... My inlaws live right next door and my grandfather-in-law knows no bouderies. He will just walk on in w/out knocking. I woke up one morning to find him standing in my room waking me up! What if I had been naked? I told my husband I just migh tbe that way one day and embarrass the hell out of himm and mabye it would break him. But I just started locking all my doors. And if the matinance man is'nt supposed to be in there w/out you then he should be warned or reprmanded for it by his boss. That's unprofessional.

[Kiya]

yeah - that's another call i am supposed to make today. i'm really really sick tho and i think i will end up back in bed (fibro/ adrenal fatigue related). I'm sitting here looking at my to-do list and trying to see what I can skip.

I think i also feel like.... and i need back up on this one... that my anger doesn't get to be there. that it's childish... or insignificant. that the more i try to defend why it's not ok that he did that, the less i believe it. =(