Question for all

I was raped at 12 years old and again at 14 which ended up with me pregnant and now I have a 31 year old daughter and im only 46 . My memories of what happened to me seem scrambled like I dont remember everything especially when it happened at age 12! I never told my parents what happened to me at 12 and i was scared to death to tell them at 14 because when it happened at 12 when I did finally get home that night my mom beat me into a corner she wouldnt even listen to me as to why I wasnt with my so called friend! you see I was a supposed chaporone for her and her bf but they ditched me in the theater and a guy said he would give me a ride home and at 12 years old i trusted adults well he called for us a ride and 4 of his friends came to pick us up[ I was scared ! I told them where i lived and right before we got there they pulled over in to an alley kind of out in the country and proceded to take turns on me!!! I remember crying and holding on the the steering wheel looking up out the window looking atr the stars like it wasnt happening to me I didnt know what was happening to me actually back in 1976 my parents didnt beleive in educating child ren in this sex or things of that nature!!! when they were done with me i was pulled out of the car by my feet and they drove away.
I walked the rest of the way home which was very painful and I cried the whole time and like I sdaid once my mom opened the door i was in trouble immediatly !!! I wanted to take a bath and she wouldnt let me she said go to your room I dont even want to see you ! I cried all night while I layed in my own blood and their fluids . In the moring she came in my room to get me up for school I went to school and for a long time I dismissed what happened to me because i guess i was in shock . My parents still to this day have no idea what happened to me . I will share more another time but memories are flooding in now and I cant say any more right now. do you think I could have pstd?

Situations like this do cause PTSD but only your doctros, therapist and your psychiatrist can diagnose you with PTSD we cant do that here.

That is a horrible situation. I am really, really sorry you had to go through something like that.

Not only a traumatic incident, but no support from the ones who should have supported you. So, double trauma.

You surely have suffered trauma! However, only a doctor, after evaluation and maybe some therapy can dx whether you have PTSD or not. But you can take any of the quizzes here, for example, to give you an idea. That way you can begin to research symptoms and realize what is causing you problems from the traumas.

Thank you all for letting me share with you something ive never shared with my parents and never will ! I still think about what happened all the time I remember the smells the most . i dont wanna remember anything tho I think its one of my bipolar triggers in to the dark side

i am so sorry for what happened to you - both the rape and the fact your mother didnt support you - gentle hugs to you

I am glad you are able to talk about it thats a good sign jmo - it says there is healing going on -

do you hve PTSD - i dont know

as has been said drs and psyces can diagnose - but have you suffered trauma that could cause it - yes

I hope you have a T that is helpng you wiht this - and that you stay on track on your healing journey - many good thoughts and gentle hugs coming your way

You have been through some hell, mommasuesue. Are you getting some help for it?

((((((((((((mommasuesue))))))))))))

I know and understand exactly what you went through. If I were your mother I would ask what can I do to make it up to you? Let me hold you. Let me be sorry because I didn't know. I wish you had told me so that I could have treated you better because even though I was angry then, I loved you.

You have my support and you have my unconditional love as a sister who has been through it. No one understands; unless they've been through it they can't get it

Rhian

mommasuesue You have been through so much torture and pain. I am so sorry for what you suffered. Thank you for trusting us enough to write about it here. I wish I could hold you safe the way your mom should have. I wish I could protect you from the memories. Do you have a therapist who is helping you? Do you have a pdoc?
Safe hugs for you. You so deserve them

((((((((((((mommasuesue))))))))))))) I am so sorry that happened to you, that is absolutely horrible and to carry those emotions inside you. Thank you for having the trust in you to write that out. Way to Go! You know, it's all on them all of it!!!!

Maybe getting a compositon notebook or a journal and write your heart away. Something about feeling the pen in your hand and having your emotions come out...and sometimes writing is sometimes the only thing that can set you free.

I hope you can get yourself a therapist as soon as possile!!!

Know my thoughts are with you as you go forth in your healing...!

Peace, Crew