1 step forward, 2 steps back

1 step forward, 2 steps back. I was making progress and now I'm sinking fast. What have I done that is so horrible to receive this life sentence? I don't want this anymore.............

I'm scared, I need someone to save me from myself. I have become my own worst enemy

Do you ever feel like you've worked really hard, fought your way through every day, only to wind up feeling like you sabotaged yourself? I am trying so hard but it doesn't feel like the effort is equaling the progress. I am so, so tired. I want to be well.

I hear you...my T said I can never seem to get a foot hold where I feel good about myself for any length of time. I self sabotage when I start to.
yet, he thinks I'm still taking two steps forward and one backward, that I'm making some progress. Its hard to believe this when you feel so sick and tired of being sick and tired. But we must keep moving forward....

I guess I don't feel like I'm making much progress because it feels like when I slip backwards, I'm in a worse place than where I started.

try to see it as part of the healing process, keep talking, creating, recognise what you are doing in your life now. You get out of bed in the morning, accknowledge it and appreciate that you did it.you paint, recognise that you are creating
That its your hand and your mind that controlls the medium.
And dont think that you have failed if you backslide , just accept that it means your in a bad way at that time and need more help.
I hope some peace comes to you soon.
Xxx

Yes, way too many times I am afraid...