[sxprt]

Hi everyone.
I am Bipolar, and recently my anxiety and paranoia has escalated and I needed to add Risperidal.

Now it was suggested that PTSD is an issue of mine that contributes.

Basically the police came to my house and raided it for a non violent crime, and a crime that I didn't commit. Nothing came of it, as I really did nothing wrong.

They pounded on my door as loud as I have ever heard, screamed police, and my dogs (who were in their kennels) went berzerk.
I was shocked, answered, they pulled me out of the house, put me up against my condo neighbors door and cuffed me.

So on and so forth.
I said to them I was thankful my dogs weren't out as it would have taken me a minute to get them into their cages. I have three, two small and one pit bull (would have licked the cops) and they said "well, the pit bull would have been shot as soon as we walked in"
I immediately began crying - the only time that whole incident.

Turned my place upside down, easily 9 cops in my 1300 sq foot condo, neighbors hearing everything as my doors were left open. I wouldn't take my dogs out until after 7:30pm (I got home at 5pm every day), because that's when they came in. I was always looking at crown victorias, and cargo type vans thinking someone was surveiling me.
Even now, three years later, I like listening to the police scanner, but whenever I hear an address with "2E" (my unit number), my heart jumps.

Thanks for reading, sorry I felt like spilling it.
Any recommended techniques to help rid myself of this pain?
Thansk
Nick

[Can't Stop Crying]

Are you seeing a therapist? Gosh - that's a lot, no wonder it caused anxiety. One of the best things for PTSD is talking. Also, recognizing any cognitive distortions, acknowledging the feelings we had then, but reminding ourselves we are safe now and using grounding techniques to stay in the present. My best advice though would be to seek counseling if you haven't already. Welcome to PC, sorry you experienced that!

[sxprt]

I haven't but I plan on it.
Have to get on track with work and insurance first.

[shezbut]

That does sound traumatic.

There are county services which offer mental health assistance to those in need. Cost is usually come to using a sliding fee scale, taking income amount & spenditures into account. I'd recommend looking down that avenue.

That said, you could always come into PC more often, to talk about things with other members. Many, many "wise elders" make this site a regular visit ~ to share things that they've learned in life. As you grow, you can then pass along tips to help others through similar things. That can help a lot, in my humble opinion.

Gentle hugs to you..

[(JD)]

Hi. Did your MD give you the dx of PTSD? IMO, with PTSD you would drop the anxiety, paranoia, and maybe even bipolar disorder labels, because PTSD is an anxiety disorder with components of depression and strong reactions etc. If it's PTSD, well, it doesn't heal on it's own even with lots of time. You would need a psychologist who is trained for trauma care.

[insightunseen]

sorry you went thru that, nick. thing about trauma is, when it comes from someone you are supposed to be able to trust (cop, family member, partner) it is all the harder to work through. the world isn't supposed to offer danger in every single direction. nowhere seems safe. so we stay on high alert all the time, hyperstartle, edgy, muscles tense, breathing shallow. and our brains can only interpret those signs one way--ongoing threat. in addition to a good debriefing, short term meds and long term learning mindfulness meditation helps the brain experience rest and refuge again. a little more time calm each day and eventually more of each moment is calm again and we return to living in the moment rather than past terror or future dread. best to you in your recovery!