As much as I prefer to think of myself as " all better " from this part of my existence, sometimes something catches me off guard and sends me reeling.

Last night after having a fantastic day with my husband, we were watching a movie on TV - curled up on the couch together - lovely. The movie had scenes that, I don't want to say what was being done, but it was a crime movie trying to solve a rape/murder....and the scenes because of their graphic depiction and the use of certain objects - all I kept thinking was how my ex would have loved that....and then for the rest of the night flashes and flashes and flashes.

We went out later to go shopping and then i think i'm going to run into him...maybe he might grab me if I'm not glued to my husband's side...in the car my brain just starts replaying all the memories I thought i'd locked away....and i wish i could pull my brain out of my head.

usually i keep myself away from movies that i think will be bad for me - this kind of took me by surprise - and once we started watching, the rapist looked like my ex - kept me wanting to see him get put to death...if that makes sense.

[palemoss]

i am really sorry i know how you feel. it is hell. but you are lucky to have someone to keep you safe and to help not facilitate more flashbacks.

just be wary of the triggers.

i can't watch certain movies or listen to certain music bc it reminds me of emotionally and physically abusive "ex" / rapist

[chlorophyll]

Hey, I'm glad you have someone you feel safe around (ie. your husband.) I guess sometimes, although we want to forget a particular event and that's the only way to feel like it's been dealt with, sometimes something will trigger it. It doesn't mean you're not getting better. It's like a scent or a song that suddenly reminds you of the past, be it good or bad. I guess it's best to just stay away from those kind of triggers maybe? There's nothing wrong with being unable to watch certain things. You're still in control

[Nammu]

I was glad to see this thread, I was going to ask if anyone had this happen. I've been haveing a heightened hyper reaction to things and missed the season finals to some of the shows I like, Criminal Minds, and CSI. It makes me feel like a little kid having to censor what I watch lately. I'm glad your not alone but sorry you were cought unaware. I'm usualy pretty good about realizing when I'm not in a good state. But a movie called Black Snake Moan caught me off gaurd, I thoght it was about music. Jazz. Boy was I wrong. it was amoung other things about PTSD and incest, boy talk about flashbacks and getting caught off gaurd! I can certainly identify with your experence.

[roses4me]

I didn't watch anything but comedies for several years... certainly no dramas.
I never knew when some little thing was going to trigger.

roses

I love Criminal Minds and all of those crime related TV shows but sometimes I have to turn them off, or watch them when my husband is around. I definitely need to watch something else funny afterwards to get my mind off of things.

I saw Black Snake Moan....part of it. I left.

[Nammu]

I have a whole catch of great movies I can watch when I know I'm in a place where TV, is off limits, WD classics, Love Bug, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, The old and new Nanny movies, Lots of animal movies but only happy animals, real or animated, pixler, Audery Hepburn, Mel Brooks.

But then theres times I'm not paying attention, and get zapped, or if I'm honest I think theres times when I didn't care if I got triggerered. Hmm, I think this is going off topic, but its like I stopped careing, am I victomizing myself? setting myself up around possible triggers, am I aware at the time? Boy I really need to think about this and talk to my T, this could be big , possiably? Hmmm, sorry, I can't think is it ok to submit or not? Is this helpful to anyone? Could someone let me know, if its not, I'll take it off, it turned into someting other than I planned.

[MrsEric]

I'm sorry that happened to you. Something similar happened to me while we were at my parent's house, watching a movie with them. In the middle of the movie I had to get up and walk out of the room.

[Open Eyes]

What a great thread, yes, that happens to me a lot. Especially if it is about young children, I can't really watch that stuff and I can't watch a lot of violence.

If my husband is watching something and I know he wants to watch it, I just quietly leave the room. And I have had to walk out of movies.

Open Eyes