What do I do now?

In my life, I am usually on meds or I'm off and miserable. When I'm on the meds I don't feel like I have any problems, therefore, I don't need a T to talk to because I have everything under control, the emotions aren't there for me to deal with like crying and triggers and stuff. What do I do now? I'm off of meds to try and make amends to my husband, for not being able to show affection, but I feel guilty about EVERYTHING, so even the things that I enjoy doing, I don't like doing because I feel that I owe this depression my life, my happiness and my husband does not understand. He says you know how addicts use to forget or to not feel anything, he said that sounds like what you are doing, and he doesn't see it as healthy. I feel like climbing the walls but I really want to deal with my past, right now is hard because I'm reliving an anniversary and I feel like I'm whammied. Anybody been there or have suggestions? Had a long discussion with husband last night and I told him that I resented him for wanting me to go off the meds and he said well go back on them then, (yeah I know, real supportive). Even though his mom tried to commit suicide years ago, he has no clue that someone could possibly feel this bad and not be able to just get over it.

In my life, I am usually on meds or I'm off and miserable. When I'm on the meds I don't feel like I have any problems, therefore, I don't need a T to talk to because I have everything under control, the emotions aren't there for me to deal with like crying and triggers and stuff. What do I do now? I'm off of meds to try and make amends to my husband, for not being able to show affection, but I feel guilty about EVERYTHING, so even the things that I enjoy doing, I don't like doing because I feel that I owe this depression my life, my happiness and my husband does not understand. He says you know how addicts use to forget or to not feel anything, he said that sounds like what you are doing, and he doesn't see it as healthy. I feel like climbing the walls but I really want to deal with my past, right now is hard because I'm reliving an anniversary and I feel like I'm whammied. Anybody been there or have suggestions? Had a long discussion with husband last night and I told him that I resented him for wanting me to go off the meds and he said well go back on them then, (yeah I know, real supportive). Even though his mom tried to commit suicide years ago, he has no clue that someone could possibly feel this bad and not be able to just get over it.

Hi csavage. Are you unable to show him emotion when you are on the meds or off? I think I would suggest going together to whomever perscribes for you and having the doc speak with hubby about what it is that the meds are doing. Make sure to schedule an extra long appoinment time for this.

I also wanted to share with you that years ago I was given amitriptiline and it made me into a monster. When I wasn't sleeping I was really ugly! I had to pull over in parking lots to sleep. I quit it when hubby told me what a monster I was. I am so glad we have better drugs now.

Hi csavage. Are you unable to show him emotion when you are on the meds or off? I think I would suggest going together to whomever perscribes for you and having the doc speak with hubby about what it is that the meds are doing. Make sure to schedule an extra long appoinment time for this.

I also wanted to share with you that years ago I was given amitriptiline and it made me into a monster. When I wasn't sleeping I was really ugly! I had to pull over in parking lots to sleep. I quit it when hubby told me what a monster I was. I am so glad we have better drugs now.

It's so hard for people to understand what we are going through. It sounds to me like you might need to find a middle ground, where meds take the edge off the triggers etc, but still allow you to feel. It took a while for me to get the right "cocktail." I was either a zombie or a puddle on the floor. Now I'm both.

I find it helpful to print out info and let the person read it. Maybe put an asterik next to things that you're going through that you want him to know. It sounds like you're dealing with some behavioral avoidance which I totally understand.

I tell my hubby...
"It's like walking up to a live wire on the ground and someone telling you to keep picking it up. You KNOW what will happen if you do. Now why would anyone do that just to pick it up, be zapped, then do it all over again."

Also, like our wisestwoman suggested, maybe you could bring hubby with you and let p-doc explain.

You may find the website link helpful.

PTSD info

Keep us posted.

Petunia

It's so hard for people to understand what we are going through. It sounds to me like you might need to find a middle ground, where meds take the edge off the triggers etc, but still allow you to feel. It took a while for me to get the right "cocktail." I was either a zombie or a puddle on the floor. Now I'm both.

I find it helpful to print out info and let the person read it. Maybe put an asterik next to things that you're going through that you want him to know. It sounds like you're dealing with some behavioral avoidance which I totally understand.

I tell my hubby...
"It's like walking up to a live wire on the ground and someone telling you to keep picking it up. You KNOW what will happen if you do. Now why would anyone do that just to pick it up, be zapped, then do it all over again."

Also, like our wisestwoman suggested, maybe you could bring hubby with you and let p-doc explain.

You may find the website link helpful.

PTSD info

Keep us posted.

Petunia