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#1
May 01, 2012, 08:09 AM
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I feel I take two steps forward and two steps back. My husband who now is my x husband was very unsurportive in some ways and not other s. I ended my marriage for he was makeing me worse with his controlling , bullying nature . I lived with this family in a family bussiness , and I didnt fit in to what they wanted . My father in law is a bully and bullies his family around , and then he treated me in the same way . He also nearly hit me as well , and done many bullying awful things . He came across as a really nice man to all his customers and was well liked . If you said anything about him nobody would believe you .. He critised me and his famliy all the time behind close doors . He picked on me cause Im a introvert and yelled at me that Im driving the customers away and loseing bussiness for him . He turned my husband against me and he also abused me too .. My husband s sister would talk behind my back and run me down to her father . I cried to my husband to get me out of this place and live as a couple on how own . However he was to never to do this , until I got really sick and ended up in a psychaitric unit for depressed new mothers . His parents ruled our marriage and told us how to run our marriage ect . They told us they were paying for the wedding and they were inviting who they wanted to the wedding . We also had make another date for the wedding for they said an event coming up for the bussiness was more important .. They didnt like the choice of wedding cake we chose so they got made what they wanted . I asked my father in law at the time to stop talking about me and he said back as tears are running down my face as Im typing this we will talk about you as much as we like .. The father inlaw abused me for not rushing and getting him a cup of tea when hes wife wasnt available to get it for him . He did nothing for himself , he had his wife do everything . He scolded me and said your a woman I expect you come out and get me a cup of tea .. He also abused me for I wouldnt accept the whistleing he does with his family . Im at a loss will I ever stop reliveing this nightmare life I lifed in four years ago ..
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 phoenix7
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 phoenix7
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#2
May 02, 2012, 07:16 AM
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(((((((acrosstheborderline))))))))
with help, yes you can - there is hope - but it takes that awful word ..time they had no right to treat you that way - you deserved better and you deserve better now - I hope you are far away from them and with people who care for you my sister was married to a man such as this - it almost destroyed her and her children - i thank whatever gods there are that she has left him now the healing has started it wont be easy but you are free now take good care of yourself P7 
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts  its how many times you get back up!   (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture  )When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
| acrosstheborderline
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#3
May 02, 2012, 08:32 AM
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Quote:
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| Open Eyes
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#4
May 03, 2012, 01:19 AM
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The only way to be free is to see what your part is and from there a solution is available.
First of all, forget judging your husband's family. Decide if you want to be involved with them. If not, leave. If your husband can't leave you can't force him to and you'll have to detach. Looks like you've done that. I would suggest Alanon for both of you if you want to stay together. Learn to detach from his family and yes - have your own lives. Secondly, get yourself out of the "victim" role. If you ask someone to pay for your wedding cake or wedding then they have the right to make demands. That's life. By seeing how I play into my problems I can then begin to get a solution for them. It takes not blaming others and being responsible for my own life. Best of luck. |
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#5
May 03, 2012, 01:22 AM
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I want to change a few things I said since I read what more you are saying.
If your husband can't change, detach from him too. Again, I would use Alanon to get tools as to how to deal with the fact you have a child who will be part of their family. Quote:
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
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