[AngelWolf3]

I don't even know if this is the right place to post this, but I am freaking out right now. I just had the worst job review I have ever had in my life. The boss was very critical and strict, I don't really disagree with what was said however. I just feel worthless right now. The problem is that I work for a very small place and there was not a lot of opportunity for training, I have to learn as I go. Because I am still trying to recover from my brain injury, I am a bit more rigid in my routine and have issues remembering things unless I write them down. (apparently my note taking is an issue)

I am still on a probationary period, and he voiced that there are a lot of concerns that this is going to be the right fit for me. I am so scared, and it just brings up a lot of the "you're never going to be good enough" issues for me as far as messages told to me when I was younger. I sat there and took it though, I guess I should have fought harder and mentioned that it has only been 4 months and that this is not exactly an easy job to learn when there is no background or prior experience on my part. Not excuses, I know, but WHY wait until 4 months into it to tell me this? I didn't even think there was a problem!!! I get BORED here at work for gosh sakes...I have created projects for myself, I have studied books and the notes that those in my position before me have left. I don't know. Maybe I'm not good enough for anything but food service. (that's all I ever did before this "real" job...Real being in quotes because mom and dad don't view anything I did before this as an actual worthy occupation)

I am very smart, articulate, and self-sufficient, and yet I have allowed to let the words of this person make me feel like a piece of useless garbage. I am NOT perfect by any means, but I have NEVER performed at less than satisfactory EVER in any position that I have held. Maybe I have been spoon-fed and sugar-coated all my life. I need to breathe. I don't know what to do. I feel like a failure.

Sorry if this was the wrong forum to post this in.

[jelly-bean]

Wolfin, I read your post and I honestly looked at your name again to see if I had written it. Not the interview part but the rest of it. I can soooo understand why the interview made you feel that way. It would have done that to me as well. I have had brain injuries and brain infections and can sympathize with you completely. Can you talk to your boss and maybe explain better how things are for you. Do you get along with your co-workers? Sometimes it's just that you stay to yourself too much. You are a very valuable person and NOT a piece of trash. I can so relate. If you need or want to talk you can pm me anytime.

[Open Eyes]

(((Wolfin))),

Well, you can't blame yourself for this situation. You should have a more detailed discription of what they felt you "did wrong". In all my years of working different jobs around different people of all kinds, I have come to recognize that there are some people that no matter how hard I tried or anyone would try, they are just not satisfied. It could be that the other people who "left notes" also could not satify who ever wrote up that review. It could really be the fault of this company's training for this position and it is poor and even non-existant.

So please, wipe your tears, take some deep, slow breaths and if I were you I would go back and talk to whomever is managing your position and have your "own" list to "counter" with the "reasons" you are not meeting their expectations and how more training could help you achieve that list of "expectations".

(((Hugs)))
Open Eyes

[MDDBPDPTSD]

Wolfin:
I am so sorry that happened to you. It really sucks. I can only imagine how you feel. I guess the boss kind of sideswiped you.

I really like Open Eyes suggestion to go meet with this person again, more prepared to address their concerns. You do not have to make excuses or defend your performance, necessarily. Just go in there and get more information about what they want changed and why they want it changed. Then maybe make a counter offer. For example, they seem to have an issue with your note taking, but you feel note taking is vitally important to remembering what you have learned. Perhaps you could explain that your personal learning style requires you to take notes. It is because of you dedication to the job that you take notes. It is also because of you dedication hat you want to fully understand what behavior needs to change and why, to make you more valuable to the company. Get the boss to open up to you more and see if you and he can come to an agreement on some reasonable goals to be accomplished by a certain time. Make sure the goal are very clearly defined. That way, you both know exactly what is expected and you can both clearly see when you succeed.
I guess I rambled on long enough. I hope you can use something from what I said.
(((HUGS Wolfin)))

[AngelWolf3]

Thank you all so much ! I do like the suggestion for going back to him and finding out exactly what the expectations are as well as explaining how my learning style is right now. I definitely am going to do that; in fact, the lovely evaluation sheet is here in front of me!

I actually scored very high on attitude/demeanor/interpersonal relationships, which is good. Analyzing my results, a lot of the issues are some cognitive and adaptability; which, I have a neuropsychological test to back me up as far as my shortcomings.

You all were so helpful in helping me to look at things differently, and helped me realize it is okay to come up with a plan to diplomatically fight back, and learn what they are wanting from me.

Hugs to you all, and I thank each and every one of you for being so kind.

((((Wolfin)))) I wholeheartedly agree with the other members that posted here. You are valued and have wonderful qualities...many strong, positive traits and great skills to contribute. I would ask for a follow up meeting so you can gain some clarification and request ideas from the reviewer so that person will help set you up for success! That is their job as a manager to help you grow and succeed. That is what reviews are designed for.

Rose

[Open Eyes]

Originally Posted by Wolfin3

Thank you all so much ! I do like the suggestion for going back to him and finding out exactly what the expectations are as well as explaining how my learning style is right now. I definitely am going to do that; in fact, the lovely evaluation sheet is here in front of me!

I actually scored very high on attitude/demeanor/interpersonal relationships, which is good. Analyzing my results, a lot of the issues are some cognitive and adaptability; which, I have a neuropsychological test to back me up as far as my shortcomings.

You all were so helpful in helping me to look at things differently, and helped me realize it is okay to come up with a plan to diplomatically fight back, and learn what they are wanting from me.

Hugs to you all, and I thank each and every one of you for being so kind.

Good, that is where you need to be. People don't know "our personal challenges" unless we discuss them and make sure we get the message across that we are trying to make the effort to fill the need. Make sure you include your way of working around your personal challenge as well.
That will encourage them to engage that and see that you really are trying and "want" to meet the challenge. People always admire "determination".

Open Eyes