[Cotton ball]

Well I saw my my new therapist (#3 ) last week, since my first good one retired.
I left dissapointed, sad, confused, and angry. It was only a 25 minute session, a first session at that.
Her stance on PTSD was dissmissive and said most people with bad childhoods have that... (Huh ?) OK..(She doesn't even know what my issues are after 25 minutes...come on!!) Within our 25 minute session she "determined, dx'd me as having major depression" and wants me to see a P-doc to get meds as my anxiety meds SHE does not feel is enough. After I get meds we will follow up on therapy..??. I have an appt with a P-doc this week. She also casually said that her stance on therapy is its something people should do for around 6 months until they have/ aquire new coping skills. ?? Huh...?? OK no one WANTS to be in therapy for life but 6 months and meds will cure me.? Please!
I'm at a loss, I am depressed but it comes with the territory, I still function and don't see how meds will instanly make life better. I'm not against medication its just I don't want them to be pushed on me. I explained that I felt if meds are to prescribed there should be communication between the T and P-doc to ensure it is the correct meds and wont do more damage than benefits. Apparently thats NOT how it works except in extreme cases. What does that mean?
Regardless..I'm at a loss. I don't want meds and frankly feel someone casually pushing the magic pills is the answer. I don't want to mask the issues, I want to deal with them. At the same time I'm conflicted because I do want to be happy, not be angry or have mood swings, or anxiety/panic attacks. I'm willing to try meds but I do not like the idea of it at all. And if they don't work?? will I be changing or just adding more and more meds until my brain is mush and I'm more confused than ever.
I've decided to go to the appt with the the P-doc to see what she says...I figure I DONT have to take anything if I feel uncomforatable, however I'm not really liking how this is going.
I'm just more confused and angry now than I have been in awhile...and yes, very sad.
I don't know......

((((CB)))) I had my first appt this past week with my new T, as well.
We had a good first session. She is at the same practice with my Pdoc (who I have been seeing for over 8 years so she had my file and was clear on the Rx situation).

The thing that resonates with me about your post is that when I mentioned my one of my Dx's (C-ptsd) toward the beginning of our session, I noticed she kind of rolled her eyes...i took note, but I kept talking. I included the other Dx's for sure.

Luckily for me, our first session lasted for a whole hour. So by the time I was finished telling her only THREE of the traumas I'd experienced (age 9, 31 & early 40s), she completely changed her tune. We havent even begun to discuss 18, 19, 22, 27, 35,38, 42...etc. All zingers.

I also told her that it was just the tip of the iceburg in terms of other incidents that just brought me to my knees ...she had no doubt at that point about any of the Dx's. Including the ptsd.

That said, I hope you will have more time together at your next session so you have the opportunity to share more.

Perhaps you can bring a copy of what you wrote here and share those concerns with her...share exactly what you wrote so she has the opportunity to clarify. Or bring to your Pdoc. The Pdoc may be able to explain the rational.

Also, I am wondering if her next appt with you is contingent on you taking meds (in order to continue with her). That is a little distressing to me if that is the case. You are in no means required to take anything you do not feel comfortable taking. It is definitely worth discussing with her.

Of course you want to feel better...that is why you went to see her! I also am confused about the time limit she imposed on your therapy together.

I think I would have left the mini-session feeling the same way you did / do considering her observations and declarations. By any chance, can you give her a call in fact to get some further understanding of her pov?

Please keep us posted.

Rose

[Open Eyes]

Cottonball,

I can relate to how you feel about medications. I did take Klonopin for a while because my PTSD was so bad I could bearly function. I had to get enough therapy and even my own research on it to understand it better. But I was on a very "low" dose. I did take it at night, but tried not to take it during the day because it "is" a sedative and I have to be awake during the day, I have too many responsibilities.

I don't agree that all people with difficult childhoods have PTSD though. But to be honest with you, if I sat across from a T that rolled his/her eyes when I discussed PTSD, I would be upset. To me if a T truely works with patients that struggle with it, they don't roll their eyes. My T never rolled his eyes and he knows alot about PTSD and has worked with many patients over the years with it. And if I come across information on it and bring it into therapy, he is right on target with it and "very up to date and knowlegable". And my T has talked many times about the three stages of recovery. He would not have a six month time frame, he has told me that each person is different. Some of his patients have been in therapy for several years, and some a year, it all depends.

I am not on any antidepressants or mood stabilizers. And I stopped taking Klonopin a few months ago. However lately I have a lot going on and have had to take small amounts to help me get through some bad days. But that is because I have a lot of challenges going on right now.

See what your pdoc suggests and make sure you "read" about whatever he/she suggests and think about it, it is your brain and no one should be forcing medication at you IMO.

Open Eyes

((((OE)))) yes, I was a little put off by it...but when i am sitting there calm as a cucumber and putting on my happy, shiny self and sharing dx's that did not come from my pdoc, i can understsnd her reservations...20 minutes later though when we got down to business, she saw it. And she hasnt even seen me yet smack in the middle of a flashback and flying away from my body because it still hurts so much to talk about what I have witnessed and experienced. She has no idea but she will next week. *sigh* that is T4/Session2.

[Open Eyes]

((Rose)),

Is this new T a specialist for PTSD? I am glad you were able to establish with her that you are genuinely struggling with it. It may be that she feels that it is becoming a "catch all" disorder. It is interesting how both your and Cottonball's T's reacted to PTSD.

Cotton, let us know how you make out with the Pdoc.

((Hugs)))

[Cotton ball]

Thank you so much for your sharing...
Yes I was very disturbed. I was very careful NOT to throw around my past dx -C-ptsd. I just mentioned it and said I had been in therapy for a year to help me. I mentioned my blackouts, anxiety, ex, and family situation. All that could be discussed within 25 minutes.
It felt as though I was in a factory..just another woman with issues. Throw some casual insight and suggest meds. It hurt. Ironically I didn't even get into anything big. Maybe that comes in time.? She didn't seem too interested...she seemed to have time restraints..
When I mentioned my ex's dx and some of the stuff that went on she did not seem to get it..."just said that is a severe dx and those are bad characters'..it was like she thought his dx was nonsence and if it were the case I'de be in a freezer somewhere. it's not a T.V. show.
However when I spoke about family her eyes lit up and thought they were "borderline"..her words not mine. It was so strange.
It tooks months of therapy with my first T before he even suggested or spoke about a dx..you have to listen and understand someone before you just start throwing around dx's...
I didn't like the stipulation of meds, I could have argued it, but I assumed, it couldnt hurt. ?? I don't know. To me it just seemed like habit. Somwone NEEDS meds to help them...
I guess I'll see how the mtg with the P-doc goes. I must prepare myself so all bases are covered...I'll explain my feelings and see what she says.?
I don't have to do or take anything. I just want to be normal and happy. I don't know the right path and I dislike that even more.

[Open Eyes]

Some therapists are turned off by the c-ptsd diagnosis because it is not being accepted by the Manual a least the last I heard. And I think some of them get turned off when they interact with a patient that can seem to come off like they know a lot simply because of the soundbites out there now about PTSD.

Give this T some more time, it may be that she is taking a dismissive type approach because she doesn't want to "feed into" your fears or what she may feel is the new "it diagnosis" that is sweeping across the population or psychology field somehow.

What makes me on guard is her push towards medications. I know that you are paying attention and reading here a PC and there has been a lot of info out there now in the "good ole therapy, verses the magic pill that is so heavily marketed for profit".
There is nothing wrong with you being "guarded" Cotton, I am the same way.

How did you find this therapist?

Cotton, you have had some real challenges this year, and I believe you about your ex.
There is nothing wrong with standing your ground and allowing yourself to "question".
And if a T or pdoc cannot respect that, in my opinion, it should be cause for concern and it may mean that they are not up with the current findings about medications and therapy.

Can you find De Mels thread that discusses the studies they are doing and how drug treatment is being questioned? Maybe you can make a copy of it and bring it with you? In my opinion if a therapist and pdoc are all about "medication" and not about considering therapy as the answer, I would be uncomfortable too. I can still remember my own experience where it was suggested I try a cocktail of medications and some of those are off the market now or have "heavy" warnings to them. I am glad I listened to my "gut" feelings. However, I am still being "openminded" about medications, but I have decided to maintain my being cautious.

If you go and see the pdoc and get very uncomfortable, don't hesitate to come and talk about it. We can't diagnose and we are not psychiatrists here. But we can share our concerns and validate yours.

Open Eyes

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

((Rose)),

Is this new T a specialist for PTSD? I am glad you were able to establish with her that you are genuinely struggling with it. It may be that she feels that it is becoming a "catch all" disorder. It is interesting how both your and Cottonball's T's reacted to PTSD.

Cotton, let us know how you make out with the Pdoc.

((Hugs)))

((((OE))) she is a Clinical Psychologist & Neuropsycholgist emphasis on traumatic stress, anxiety and panic disorders, as well as depression.

I do believe you are correct ... perhaps she thought of it as a "catch all"... until I continued talking.

Rose

[Cotton ball]

((Rose))
She sounds like she knows her stuff. I really hope she works out for you.

((Hugs))

[Open Eyes]

Originally Posted by Rose Panachée

((((OE))) she is a Clinical Psychologist & Neuropsycholgist emphasis on traumatic stress, anxiety and panic disorders, as well as depression.

I do believe you are correct ... perhaps she thought of it as a "catch all"... until I continued talking.

Rose

Oh that sounds great Rose. Then she is just being cautious and I bet she isn't going to "feed into" your fears. I think a therapist that maintains composure and is able to listen and not join in quickly with a diagnosis is very "professional".

I have had the experience of a T making a quick assumption and she was "way off base". If she had spent more "time" with me she would have realized her mistake. I didn't stay with her because I could not afford it at the time. But in only two visits, the first just about getting my background, where I grew up and my ethnic background and education etc. And then one visit, that was not enough to write down a diagnosis IMO and my T I have now that is a specialist feels that way as well.

I am looking forward to hearing what your new T shares with you Rose.
It sounds like you found a good match.

Cotton, be patient, and observant. It is very important you "feel safe" and "trust" your T.

to you both,
Open Eyes

[Nammu]

One of the things that gets mentioned a lot about therapy is that you need to be able to "click" with your T. In most of the blogs by T's and other professionals they recommend that you find a T that you are comfortable with, and can talk openly to without reservations. You should mention your uneasiness and feelings to the T you are seeing and see how they respond not just cancel. I think they say to try one T for at least three times. I've been very lucky with T's but there have been two that did not work out, one I was able to talk about how I was feeling with her, and we agreed that someone else would be a better fit. The other was just too weird from the outset, once was all she got, T's are people too and we don't have to like everyone we meet, that includes people with degrees.

I however am alarmed at a T that would make medication a condition on seeing you, you have a right to not take medication. If you were in therapy for a year and your previous T never brought it up I would question her stipulating that you must be on med's, especially after 25 min.

My current T and I did not agree on meds- she thought they would help, I said no. That was fine, we worked without them until I was doing badly and decided to give them a try again. She saw first hand what medications do to me and now she agrees that I'm much better off without anti-depressants. But the point is we discussed it and it was my choice. It is your therapy and you need to be able to talk to your T about anything without feeling intimidated. Somethings are harder and don't get talked about until you and your T have gotten to know each other and thats normal. Would you be able to contact your retired T and ask for a summery to take with you to your appointments until you find one you click with? I realize being on number 3 since the "good" one is hard, but talking openly with her might help you find another good one. Best of luck.

[Cotton ball]

Thank you. Yep I really do agree. Communication and safety is the most important thing in therapy.
My son is still really sick so I had to cancel the appt with the p-doc. Next available appt is in 2 weeks.
I tried to make another appt with the t in 2 weeks but the receptionist couldn't even handle that. It's a free clinic so I know they are overworked and overloaded.
I'm going to continue I just need to focus on my son getting better right now.
It doesn't help I'm in the process of a move this month...
Just feeling overwhelmed...
This to shall pass. One step and day at a time. Things will be ok.

[Nammu]

I'm so sorry there are so many things piling up at the same time. Thats hard, especially when your child is sick. Glad to see that you are still positive about it. (One step and day at a time...) wish I had some profound wise things to say that would help.

[Cotton ball]

(((thank you)))
On a side funny but screwed up note I spoke to an old "friend" about everything that's been going on and has happened over the past few years. He is catholic and when i mentioned my ex was into Santeria (or so he said... Always so many lies... He was probably just screwing with my head) my friend said I had been cursed and I need to get a cleansing and protection spell immediately. he said he would look into it and find someone for me.
Great!! Lol, i was really hoping he could just help me patch a hole in the ceiling caused from a water leak upstairs. Ohh well that would just be to easy. Lol, at leaste I still have
my sence of humor.
Hugs and thank you!

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by Cotton ball

(((thank you)))
On a side funny but screwed up note I spoke to an old "friend" about everything that's been going on and has happened over the past few years. He is catholic and when i mentioned my ex was into Santeria (or so he said... Always so many lies... He was probably just screwing with my head) my friend said I had been cursed and I need to get a cleansing and protection spell immediately. he said he would look into it and find someone for me.
Great!! Lol, i was really hoping he could just help me patch a hole in the ceiling caused from a water leak upstairs. Ohh well that would just be to easy. Lol, at leaste I still have
my sence of humor.
Hugs and thank you!

That is funny. Especially when all you wanted was a hole patched up!

[Mogie]

Sorry about your new T's response. I know it's such a crap shoot with T's, and especially if you are using or seeking out low cost options. I think it's cool that you can say "I don't have to take anything", because it says you are in charge of your own process. I know that Dx of C-ptsd is problematic because it isn't in the DSM, and I always have to say PTSD (even though my T talked about C-PTSD). I hope things work out for the best for you. (BTW I had a friend say I was cursed too! She even did some incense ritual in my car....I don't think it worked as I was in a wreck a month later LoL).