[AngelWolf3]

Just in case, I put a trigger icon cause I get pretty mad...

Ok. So, long story short, my parents had "disowned" me at the time in my life where I really needed them. (we are "better" now, and I am part of the family again) The other day, my mom calls me and says "I got summoned for Jury Duty, but there is a box here that says if 'you or a family member were a victim of crime, check here.' Do you think I could get out of Jury Duty if I check that? I mean you were, so why not?"

I was so mad! I wanted to scream at her, "you didn't even care about me at the time that happened! I didn't get to call you or get hugged by you or cry with you! You didn't even know it happened until I told you 2 years later!" So I just told her "Yeah, if you want to check the box, why not? I mean, it happened, so go ahead and use me to get out of Jury Duty." I even said it all nice too, so she didn't even know I was mad.

I wish I had said something. And it's even harder now because the anniversary of it is coming up on the 12th/13th and Halloween time makes it even worse, triggers are everywhere until it's over. I hate this time of year. I can't hide from it either. And my kids love trick or treating and going to costume stores. I have dealt with it so far but it gets worse instead of better each year. I talk to my T about this, and I am trying, but why hasn't it gone away yet?

And, I mean, it could've been so much worse, many here on PC have had it way worse than me. I am here and alive and I did survive, but that doesn't make it go away. I wish it would. Ok. I gotta go. Can't get all freaked out at work thinking about it.

Thanks to anyone who made it to the end of this.

[Dontfeellikeme]

Bless you. Its horrid to have mothers that pretend to care but don't and just use you. I know it well. Messes your head. Take care. X

[lostgman]

They say men are from Mars and women are from Venus, well I think sometimes parents are from Saturn.

My dad is a good man but a real "man's man". When I needed him, he would say things like "You don't need a shrink...what are you, crazy?" "You need to have a few drinks and forget about it." "Suck it up, be a man." He made me feel like less of a man....when I did follow his advice....I ended up in a much darker place. He did finally come around and realize that what I was going through was serious and I needed help. He still says something from time to time that throws me...I have learned to just ignore him. I don't get mad anymore....I picture him with rings around his head.

New Years and 4th of July are bad for me. I grit my teeth and get through it. I have to put all my coping skills to work. I try focusing on my kids and their excitement. It's hard but I get through it.

You're right....you did survive....you are alive.....you are here...and you will get through it. It's hard but you will get through it. Take extra good care of yourself.



Gman

Sorry Wolfin
Some people can be so oblivious to what is right in front of them

[jelly-bean]

I'm sorry that your mother disregarded your feelings that way. It takes an enormous amount of strength to hold your temper when you are that angry. Use that same strength to help yourself get through the upcoming anniversary. Are you in therapy? I hope so but if not, you might want to consider that as an option. I know you don't want to mess with your kid's heads the way yours was. Good Luck to you.