[sandworm]

Hi all,
because of my PTSD, I will soon be on the street. I can not
make it through an interview because of my verbal abuse scenario.

I have been to Alcoholics Anon and Recovery International, but
is there a PTSD for verbal abuse where I can calm down and
get through my applications, cover letters, job meets and interviews,
so I won't have to sell the car (on payments now) and sleep under
a freeway pass?
I just could not get through the A.A. or Recovery Int, because they
don't teach you how to deal with when someone owes you amends but
refused to be aware it even happened.
The step ?? 1-7 and 10 - 11 are okay but the 8-9 always hang me up
because I feel I NEED that closure.

What to do, what to do?

Sandee.

Thanks all, sorry to start a new thread on this.

what support groups Exist.?

[Rosie23]

Is there someone there who could help you with that? your sponsor?

I do not have an experience with what you are referring to. Sorry.

[Gus1234U]

{{{{ Sandy~! }}}} i had no idea it had gotten this far~ Anxiety Management skills work much better to strengthen one for doing PTSD work than AA or Alanon, i found. but most importantly now is to stop additional traumas from happening. Most Social Service agencies have an emergency housing program for women. also check out your local Independent Living Center, they are supposed to know of all the local resources (get a referral from the Division of Vocational Rehab for your area). if you are disabled, you may even qualify for help to remain in your home from Voc Rehab, but not usually in the form of money,, maybe paying for counseling, or things like that. i truely wish you the very best,,, Gus

[Open Eyes]

Gus has some good ideas Sandworm, I will say some prayers for you. Steps 8 and 9 are hard, yes, having closure really helps but you must remember the serernity prayer, "accept the things I cannot change"

((((Hugs))))
Open Eyes

[sandworm]

Originally Posted by Gus1234U

{{{{ Sandy~! }}}} Most Social Service agencies have an emergency housing program for women. i truely wish you the very best,,, Gus

AHHHH, hon, I KNOW you mean well Gus, but I don't think the housing idea
you suggest will work for me, tho it would be nice to be the only
guy in an all female housing.
I think I will ask if they have a housing program for men tho.
Just freaking now. thinking it might be all okay, but my resources suck for now. 30 years of "T"s tell n me, 'hou you feel about that?" and ignoring that
without a course change things will JUST get worser. (is that a word even)?

Looking

Sandee.
thanks all

[quote=sandworm;2231044]
I just could not get through the A.A. or Recovery Int, because they
don't teach you how to deal with when someone owes you amends but
refused to be aware it even happened.[quote]

I can't do AA, Rational Recovery or any of that either ... It just doesn't work for me ... It took me a while to realize that my abusers were never going to acknowledge, much less apologize for all the evil @#$%! they did to me ... That's when I realized I just had to hand them over to whatever that Higher Power is, and move on with my own healing and recovery ...

It still smarts sometimes that I never got "justice", but I'm so much better off now than I was then ... They're all dead now too ... So in essence I won, because I'm here and healthier and they are not ... Hope that doesn't sound to trite or simple ... Because it's not ... And it was very painful for a long, long time ...

Contact your local domestic violence center and/or shelter ... They'll give you a place to eat and sleep, counseling, help with finding and keeping a job, etc. ... Do it today ... Okay?

(If okay) ... And wishing you the best so that you WIN too ... !!!

[Open Eyes]

(((((Sandworm))))))

Sorry I didn't catch it, yes, I am hopeful that there is something in place for men as well. Please do your best to keep your chin up, you do have some deep knowledge about finding inner strength. This deep inner strength is going to be tapped on a lot right now sandworm and please remember that you must keep this with you and continue to push forward and reach out for help too. You do deserve it and hopefully you will find a path where you WILL get the help you need and once you do that you will be able to reach out to others that are where you are now.

((((My thoughts are with you and sending warm hugs reaching down to that part of you that has that inner strength)))))
Open Eyes

[Callmebj]

Sandworm, I hope that you have more hope at present as to when you first posted.
I'm sorry you did not get the amends you needed, but you know people can deny their mistakes out of pride, or not even seeing what they did wrong.

They are sick people.
I told my mother that I had some damage from her when I was growing up; she said "sorry" which did not get it for me. She honestly never recognized what she had done
to me or my siblings.

When she was dying, my sis told me that our mother thought I was mad
at her; and she could only think of one thing I would be mad about! WHAT, there were years of verbal and physical abuse; I was never treated with sensitivity by her as long as I can remember.

Don't let the victimizer win by not realizing you were
treated horribly just because they can't admit mistakes. You can't not stop hurting until you realize that what was done was evil; but admission by the evil doer is
within the pretext of their lack of sick understanding. You see it all back to them.
Feel you own strength in this by knowing what your reality is and it stands in truth.

I do hope things have taken a turn for the good by now. Wishing you the best. bj

[likewater]

Thanks guys for making me smile. Suggesting, a male apply for female emergency housing because on pc we can't tell who is what. That's freaking hilarious. But , Sandworm, your, situation isn't funny. May angels surround you and help you find shelter and comfort and healing. I dont think your abuser has to apologize or make ammends for healing. Abusers are all messed up and 99.9 % never will. The 12 steps maybe need to be revised for survivors. My main abuser is psychotic and still trying to kill people. I dont even know where the others are. I dont know 12 steps though. I am a cutter but that's my addiction. Maybe you just need a closure ritual - some way to find closure and let go since abuser facilitate that, you or a T needs to help do that (create closure is what i mean).

catholic charities?
salvation army?

both have helped me..& i belong to neither

try the va even...maybe they might have a good resource on non-vet ptsd resources...never hurts to ask...the worst they will say is nope.

my county has a housing alliance which i have used to help get my bills paid (gas, electric)..they also pay rent or mortgage in cases as well or help find places for people...i found them thru the utility company when i got a shut off notice...you might be able to work backwards & find a source like that who could get you some assistance

[Nammu]

((((Sandworm)))

I hope you found something. I just came back to this forum after a few months away so wasn't here when you posted. I'm just sending positives your way. May you have a new home.

[Jest29]

Sandworm, shove it up your pie hole. Don't think I have forgotten what u said to me the other night in the chat...lol... just kidding... no worries. You're just a bunch of pixels. Have a nice weekend, everybody!!! Man, that was fun!!!

[Jest29]

Talking to a hospital social worker, or if u go to psychotherapy, try talking to a social worker about your concerns. Your psych doctor can help you apply for supportive housing