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Member
Member Since Jun 2012
Posts: 362
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Nov 30, 2012 at 10:45 AM
#1
Does anyone else experience that they´re constantly trying to run into the future, keeping super busy always putting goals in front of you, maybe to sort of keep running from the past? I feel like I did and can´t really stop myself, not completely, yet.
I´m guessing that when you CAN look back, or you don´t even have to, because everything´s "settled" there and you´re not bothered constantly, you can actually stop running and instead go step by step and also BE here, in the NOW. I feel like it was for me like that before. There was no need to "run". 
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Grand Member
Member Since Aug 2012
Location: Grad school =_=
Posts: 803
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Nov 30, 2012 at 12:07 PM
#2
When I was in univerity, I kept busy all the time so I didn't have to face the emptiness and pain that any reminder of past trauma brought on.
Personally, I've always avoided trauma. I consider myself somewhat healed, but I've never addressed it head on. Maybe it will come back to haunt me (well it does, I get triggered a lot), or maybe this is just how I heal. __________________ "What you risk reveals what you value" |
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Member
Member Since Jun 2012
Posts: 362
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Nov 30, 2012 at 03:17 PM
#3
are you in therapy, onionknight?
because i suppose we don´t HAVE to feel this way... |
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Poohbah
Member Since Nov 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 1,288
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Nov 30, 2012 at 03:34 PM
#4
Running from it is better than intentionally going back to it in an attempt to repair that which cannot be fixed.
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Member
Member Since Jun 2012
Posts: 362
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Dec 01, 2012 at 02:29 PM
#5
well, I´m really not an expert on this, I suppose you cannot really fix anything from the past, but there´s gotta be a better way than running all your life from it...
 Maybe somone more experienced with traumawork can tell more about it. |
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2008
Location: N/A
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Dec 01, 2012 at 03:17 PM
#6
I used to do this, too. For me the escape was school--getting more degrees, certifications, training. I never had "time" to think about what was bothering me because I had work with due dates. I was like the Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland--"I'm late! No time to talk!"
I tried to sign up for some more school/training recently but never got around to doing it. That's when I realized maybe I didn't need to run anymore. |
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Grand Member
Member Since Aug 2012
Location: Grad school =_=
Posts: 803
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Dec 01, 2012 at 06:31 PM
#7
Quote:
I stare it down occasionally, in poetry or my blog. The trauma has always been somewhere near the surface, though, so I think I have healed by just living my life, having friends, experiecing joy and love, accomplishing goals. I once told my friends about the long-term consequences of my past abuse: "I'm okay with not being okay." __________________ "What you risk reveals what you value" |
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New Member
Member Since Dec 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 4
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Dec 10, 2012 at 03:41 AM
#8
Quote:
I used to spend all my time trying to stay busy and not deal with anything. Then, it caught up to me: I tried to kill myself, and almost succeeded, spent almost two weeks in the hospital. Last edited by darkpurplesecrets; Dec 10, 2012 at 09:26 AM.. Reason: added trigger icon.... |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Apr 2010
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,794
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Dec 10, 2012 at 12:24 PM
#9
I tried just running from the past.....and really burnt myself out that way. Now its hard for me to even wrap my head around there being a future or much of one anyways. So I am stuck not wanting to be stuck in the past but obviously that is easier said than done when it wont get out of my head...but yet there is nothing to work towards as far as a future it seems. Its like a stagnant purgatory or something to that effect.
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