[azizaAkos]

Was in the hspital after being put n Ativan that didnt work in my favr. Ended up calling 911. The emts of course had to be men and I dont know why but they circled me and when I back awa on came twards me and it was so scary. One f them actually was nice and figured out I was afraid and he was actually very good.
The er was pretty uneventful. The put me in the mhw the nurse at first said she had to search me and I lost it and freaked out thankfully they never did actually search me.
I feel worse now then when I went in I dont know what the point was. I told them flat out that I still wanted to self harm and felt somewhat suicidal. I had a panic attack the night before I was released and again right after discharge ended back up in th er and they sent me home alone on a bus.
I got confirmed again I have ptsd but I knew that. The meds arent helping I told my gp and she just seemed angry with me. I did get a letter f approval for a service dog though.
Overall though I just feel so so so horrible. I really feel like none of the doctors care. My therapist was understanding but thats what he is paid for. I am just sick of feeling this way I feel so alone so afraid and so worn out. I wish I was strong enough just to end it because I really dont know hw much more I can take. I still loove my dogs and they keep me going but I have been feeling so bad even that is becoming a strugle. I cant act right around people especially men nr d I feel safe and it seems like everything triggers me yet I dont feel like Im safe alone right now with how I feel

[Open Eyes]

(((azizaAkos))),

I am sorry that you had a bad panic attack that the men that came to you after you called 911 were not very nice. Unfortunately often they don't train these people about PTSD and panic. Yes, doctors can also be cold and matter of fact too and they should also be trained how to have a better bed side manner with people who have panic attacks/PTSD.

I had a bad panic attack too and it was so bad that I ended up laying on my kitchen floor and could not get up. I thought I was having a heart attack. I called 911 too and was taken to the ER. I was so embarrassed when I was told it was "just" a severe anxiety attack and nothing more. And you are right, it can be very matter of fact to other people, but it is scarey and confusing.

Now, having PTSD is also very confusing and scarey as well. Everything you are saying here is how people feel who present with PTSD. They all begin to feel very uncomfortable around other people and begin to want to isolate. I have had that reaction as well. And you are right, it can be very lonely because most people do not know about it or understand it at all and often respond poorly.

It is very important that you find a therapist that "specializes" in helping patients with PTSD. A good PTSD therapist isn't just nice to you because it is their job, they are nice to you because they understand the disorder, that it is a "real" challenge, and that it takes time for patients to understand it and work through it.

Yes, it can be a challenge to have a peaceful and restful nights sleep, and it can be a challenge to get through the day and function as well. And I agree that it feels lonely and scary and very confusing. And people who struggle with it all feel like no one will understand how very much they are struggling, and they are right, most people just don't know and it is hard to get them to understand even if you try to explain it to them. And the one thing that is essential for someone with PTSD is that they feel safe, because they do feel very vulnerable.

You truely "can" learn to work through and slowly overcome PTSD my friend. It is important that you establish a safe place you can go and not be disturbed when you get overwhelmed and need to be quiet and have some space to calm down. My space is my bedroom and I do go there and lay down and rest when I get overwhelmed and cannot seem to function.

These negetive thoughts you are having? Do NOT allow yourself to feed into them.
You must truely say to yourself, "I have PTSD and I can't blame myself, and I have to make sure I don't self punish and vow to allow myself to get help for it no matter what". Working through PTSD really takes time and a lot of self care, it goes better when you are around others that do know how it feels and have worked through it and are doing better. And you can come to PC and this forum for that because there "are' very nice and caring people that are also working through it here.

You need to learn how to self sooth and learn ways to distract your mind so that when you have these panic/anxiety attacks you don't make them worse by allowing yourself to feed into them.

When you have an anxiety attack, what is happening is that your brain is filling with cortizol and what that does is prepare us to run, thinking we are in an emergency situation. And because we get full of cortizol like this and don't understand it, we can produce more cortizol by being afraid ontop of the attack which then adds more cortizol. So, what you have to learn to do is realize this is happening and instead of feeding into it, you distract your mind with thoughts that tell the mind and body, no, there is no emergency at all, it is ok, and then the cortizol slows down and dicipates and finally the brain and body is calm again.

People who have PTSD are going to be challenged with this for a while until they work on the trama or tramas that presented this condition in their brain. Each person is different depending on what they experienced in their past where they may have been a victim or experienced something tramatic.

You truely "can" learn to slowly take more and more control over these attacks and the PTSD itself. I am not going to lie, it can take time though and each person is a little different depending on the cause and life experiences they have to sort through.
While other people do not understand it, what is important is that you understand it, and if you live with someone or have anyone in your family that is around you alot, it is important that that person/persons spend time with a professional that can explain it to them and advise them in how to support you.

So you need to begin taking steps toward getting the right help for yourself. Do not blame yourself, it is not your fault, and you can work through it.

(((Hugs))))
Open Eyes

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

(((azizaAkos))),

I am sorry that you had a bad panic attack that the men that came to you after you called 911 were not very nice. Unfortunately often they don't train these people about PTSD and panic. Yes, doctors can also be cold and matter of fact too and they should also be trained how to have a better bed side manner with people who have panic attacks/PTSD.

I had a bad panic attack too and it was so bad that I ended up laying on my kitchen floor and could not get up. I thought I was having a heart attack. I called 911 too and was taken to the ER. I was so embarrassed when I was told it was "just" a severe anxiety attack and nothing more. And you are right, it can be very matter of fact to other people, but it is scarey and confusing.

Now, having PTSD is also very confusing and scarey as well. Everything you are saying here is how people feel who present with PTSD. They all begin to feel very uncomfortable around other people and begin to want to isolate. I have had that reaction as well. And you are right, it can be very lonely because most people do not know about it or understand it at all and often respond poorly.

It is very important that you find a therapist that "specializes" in helping patients with PTSD. A good PTSD therapist isn't just nice to you because it is their job, they are nice to you because they understand the disorder, that it is a "real" challenge, and that it takes time for patients to understand it and work through it.

Yes, it can be a challenge to have a peaceful and restful nights sleep, and it can be a challenge to get through the day and function as well. And I agree that it feels lonely and scary and very confusing. And people who struggle with it all feel like no one will understand how very much they are struggling, and they are right, most people just don't know and it is hard to get them to understand even if you try to explain it to them. And the one thing that is essential for someone with PTSD is that they feel safe, because they do feel very vulnerable.

You truely "can" learn to work through and slowly overcome PTSD my friend. It is important that you establish a safe place you can go and not be disturbed when you get overwhelmed and need to be quiet and have some space to calm down. My space is my bedroom and I do go there and lay down and rest when I get overwhelmed and cannot seem to function.

These negetive thoughts you are having? Do NOT allow yourself to feed into them.
You must truely say to yourself, "I have PTSD and I can't blame myself, and I have to make sure I don't self punish and vow to allow myself to get help for it no matter what". Working through PTSD really takes time and a lot of self care, it goes better when you are around others that do know how it feels and have worked through it and are doing better. And you can come to PC and this forum for that because there "are' very nice and caring people that are also working through it here.

You need to learn how to self sooth and learn ways to distract your mind so that when you have these panic/anxiety attacks you don't make them worse by allowing yourself to feed into them.

When you have an anxiety attack, what is happening is that your brain is filling with cortizol and what that does is prepare us to run, thinking we are in an emergency situation. And because we get full of cortizol like this and don't understand it, we can produce more cortizol by being afraid ontop of the attack which then adds more cortizol. So, what you have to learn to do is realize this is happening and instead of feeding into it, you distract your mind with thoughts that tell the mind and body, no, there is no emergency at all, it is ok, and then the cortizol slows down and dicipates and finally the brain and body is calm again.

People who have PTSD are going to be challenged with this for a while until they work on the trama or tramas that presented this condition in their brain. Each person is different depending on what they experienced in their past where they may have been a victim or experienced something tramatic.

You truely "can" learn to slowly take more and more control over these attacks and the PTSD itself. I am not going to lie, it can take time though and each person is a little different depending on the cause and life experiences they have to sort through.
While other people do not understand it, what is important is that you understand it, and if you live with someone or have anyone in your family that is around you alot, it is important that that person/persons spend time with a professional that can explain it to them and advise them in how to support you.

So you need to begin taking steps toward getting the right help for yourself. Do not blame yourself, it is not your fault, and you can work through it.

(((Hugs))))
Open Eyes

Such wise advice Costello, you help people where ever you go. <3 Yours truly, Glinda Gail