[Rachel.i]

I am really confused about whether I am in the right type of therapy. I see my T every 2-3 weeks, and she does "supportive" therapy, i.e. whatever is troubling me, or on my mind, we talk about. The issues change, as does lIfe. Lately it's been about practical steps I may need to take (lawyers etc) regarding my father, whose dementia and abusiveness has gotten much worse.

My T is good, but I don't seem to be making much progress at what I call my "automatic" reactions. My T thinks it doesn't matter if you have PTSD, that it's what you do now.

Problem is, I still have symptoms like hypervigilance, nightmares, insomnia, avoidance, etc. My father was so relentlessly abusive when I was age 10-17 I had no peace, just constant severe stress. I would even feel that I wasn't real, though I knew I was, just to escape the abuse. My sister said recently "he just hated you." That he did, and for a stupid reason - I gained about 15 pounds after one of our many geographical moves. Before that I was his golden girl. Talk about confusing.

I also became the scapegoat in my family... everything was my fault according to them all, even though I was quiet and didn't cause trouble. With two sisters, this continued into my 30's. They, however, married abusive men like my father - I didn't - and were/are alcoholics and street-drug users. My other siblings had grown up by then and weren't like that.

I don't want to be in therapy forever, yet as I said I'm confused whether I might need a PTSD specialist and/or group therapy.

Thank you if you read this far.

[Nammu]

I wish I could give you an answer but I don't have one.

I know it did help somewhat to be in a group with others who were all PTSD/DID trauma survivors. There are pluses and minus though, for some it makes things worse because some of those people do want to be in treatment forever and they act out quite a lot and it can be very traumatizing and/or hard for others who want to care-take. On the plus side your story is understood, there is nobody else that can understand so well as other survivors and that validation can be really powerful. The group should be focused on healing tools to use for dealing with the PTSD symptoms if they are allowing people to act out w/o intervening with the tools you need a different group. The biggest problem is that there isn't many programs out there anymore.

You might try telling your T you really feel the need to either bump up your visits so that you can spend some time on obtaining the tools to use for these symptoms you talked about, and some of the time on the real life situations that need to be dealt with too. Or you might ask if she can't do that if she knows someone who you can see for the PTSD side of things, some people find rapid eye movement therapy very helpful. Those tend to be time limited sessions w/ a T or Pdoc who is trained in that therapy.

Some other tools you might want to look into are ways to center yourself, such as; Tactile-feeling where you are, Visual- looking around, Breathing methods. There are many ways to use Visualization- putting yourself in a safe place, or just picturing a calm happy place. There's many more, these are my grounding favorites. Everyone has their own tools that works best for them. You can try googling grounding techniques and see the many different tools for turning down the emotional output so you can function.

To many people I seem to have it all together now compared to before, but avoidance is still a huge issue for me. I'm fairly isolated and when big things happen in the world I don't watch TV or use the computer, I need to work past that. I have dealt with some of the issues that have given me the C-PTSD label but others are still there. My T wants me to go though a PTSD workbook with her(it was my grand idea at first! I bought the book to her, she hadn't seen that one and liked it very much.) but every time we've tried I have gotten too symptomatic. If I want to get out in the working world I need to face these things or I'm going to fail again. So maybe you can just bring up the idea of using a PTSD workbook with your T. There a few good ones out there. If you want the title of the one I have I'll give it to you but I recommend you use it with a T or Pdoc not on your own.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Rachel.i

I am really confused about whether I am in the right type of therapy. I see my T every 2-3 weeks, and she does "supportive" therapy, i.e. whatever is troubling me, or on my mind, we talk about. The issues change, as does lIfe. Lately it's been about practical steps I may need to take (lawyers etc) regarding my father, whose dementia and abusiveness has gotten much worse.

My T is good, but I don't seem to be making much progress at what I call my "automatic" reactions. My T thinks it doesn't matter if you have PTSD, that it's what you do now.

Problem is, I still have symptoms like hypervigilance, nightmares, insomnia, avoidance, etc. My father was so relentlessly abusive when I was age 10-17 I had no peace, just constant severe stress. I would even feel that I wasn't real, though I knew I was, just to escape the abuse. My sister said recently "he just hated you." That he did, and for a stupid reason - I gained about 15 pounds after one of our many geographical moves. Before that I was his golden girl. Talk about confusing.

I also became the scapegoat in my family... everything was my fault according to them all, even though I was quiet and didn't cause trouble. With two sisters, this continued into my 30's. They, however, married abusive men like my father - I didn't - and were/are alcoholics and street-drug users. My other siblings had grown up by then and weren't like that.

I don't want to be in therapy forever, yet as I said I'm confused whether I might need a PTSD specialist and/or group therapy.

Thank you if you read this far.

I have never heard the term "PTSD Therapy" here in new york we dont have a therapy technique called PTSD therapy. We have therapy techniques like DBT, CBT, EFT, Art therapy, music therapy, aroma therapy, hypnosis, and others but none called "PTSD therapy" and therapists here in new york dont become specialists in PTSD. here all mental health treatment providers work with PTSD issues (nightmares, flashbacks, anxiety, sleep problems, depression, suicidal and self injury thoughts...) So Im not sure what you are looking for.

if you mean how did we know we needed be go to therapy because of PTSD problems that I can tell you. I did know when I needed to be in therapy because I was having PTSD issues to the point where the PTSD issues were interfering with my work, and home life..

PTSD symptoms are things like having flashbacks, nightmares, panic attacks, trouble sleeping, intrusive thoughts about the traumatic event, suicidal and self injury thoughts, being depressed because of the traumatic event, unable to concentrate on work because of the traumatic event.

we cant tell you when or if ....you...should or should not be in therapy for any of your symptoms ...only you can make that decision but I can tell you it was very helpful to me to be able to go talk to my therapy about my problems surrounding the work related traumatic event I went through, and work with my therapist to find ways to solve my PTSD related issues.

[archipelago]

While there are specific therapies designed to help with various kinds of trauma, I myself find that the "supportive" kind as you put it works for me. I also find that some symptoms do come anyway even after working at it for a long time.

I guess I feel like the benefit of a more open-ended therapy is that it allows other things to be handled in a way that feels more real. After all I'm more than just the symptoms of PTSD. And if I want my life and future to be more as well I'd rather have a therapy that can support that. Just one point of view, not meant to be advice.

[Open Eyes]

(((Rachel))),

Have you been diagnosed with PTSD? You are describing some of the symtoms, but a diagnosis has to come from a professional.

I have a therapist that specializes in treating patients with PTSD. There is a difference from him and a regular therapist that may not really know how to treat PTSD patients.

What I can say that for me personally, it wasn't just "living in the now" and talking about my problems. I had to learn to understand where my problems come from and how "abuse" in my past affected me in ways I didn't realize. It isn't "just having anxiety" for me, I have had to understand my triggers and anxiety to see where they come from and learn how to understand and develope ways to address it.

I am very sorry that you are dealing with an abusive father who now also has demencia. That "is" a challenge because people in the first stages of demencia can really be mean and even strike out. They also lose the filter of holding back their thoughts about anyone they encounter, they simply just say whatever comes to their minds.

Do you have to provide the care for your father? That can be quite a challenge if you do suffer from PTSD, especially if he was abusive in your past.

I hope that if you are the caregiver and you have siblings you can get help with this challenge. You have to make sure you are taking care of yourself too.

(((Gentle supportive hugs)))
Open Eyes

[archipelago]

I've read many posts by Open Eyes that clearly demonstrate vast experience and compassion. I would qualify would I wrote before in light of this post. There are therapists who are more specialized in different aspects of trauma. There are also therapies designed for treatment. These two are not the same, though they may overlap to some extent. Personally I would trust someone who was experienced with trauma over a treatment designed for trauma. That mainly comes out of reading the literature about treatment protocols and talking to clinicians who have trauma as a speciality.

[Sigster66]

The mental health system still is pretty poor at treating trauma. I was in therapy for years and it was not until I started working with a trauma specialist that I made some real break through's. I am actually able to trust my wife now and don't have many nightmares. Trauma does specific things to your brain and development and specialized techniques are often needed to help. At least a good understanding of how it makes you react. Good luck!

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