[firefighter369]

I get flash backs and when I sleep I see face of people I tried to save...heres a little background info im a volunteer firefighter and I have seen and done things I don't wish anyone to see. but I do it because I love it and someone has to but anyway the people ive tried to save ive been seeing their faces clear as day in my sleep....I try not to sleep because of it. but is this a sign of ptsd?

[firefighter369]

please before you jump down my throat and say im not a volunteer firefighter and say I don't have real problems with this please learn about me first, maybe send me a message I have no problem explaining things to you..i joined when I was 16, the age you can first join is 14, it will be 4 years this march, I joined on my birthday. I have done and seen thing I wish apon no one. I do it because I love helping people. I promise you I am a volunteer firefighter...if you believe me or not is your problem...ill give you vivid details of the things I have seen and done if youd like

[TrulyRose]

I completely understand. I am a wife of a career firefight. The things he has come home and told me about I could not stand to live with. He takes Xanax and it helps him sleep. Are you on anything to help you get past seeing the faces?

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by firefighter369

I get flash backs and when I sleep I see face of people I tried to save...heres a little background info im a volunteer firefighter and I have seen and done things I don't wish anyone to see. but I do it because I love it and someone has to but anyway the people ive tried to save ive been seeing their faces clear as day in my sleep....I try not to sleep because of it. but is this a sign of ptsd?

I see by your past posts that you became a firefighter during your teen age years. first may I say that joining the fire fighters in your location is an amazing thing to do. here in NY we have a junior fire fighting program too where teen agers as young as 12 and 13 yr olds can join, learn about being a firefighter, partake in drills, control fire rescues, and on occasion those that are ready can go out on calls supervised by an adult firefighter at their side to make sure the teen isnt in a dangerious situation but can experience helping to rescue/use their training first hand. this allows the teens to fully understand the job and what it takes mentally and physically to be a volunteer firefighter.

one of my siblings was court mandated to partake in our junior fire fighters program because he liked to set fires. he learned so much and he did for a time have PTSD issues over what he experienced as part of being a firefighter where he had to rescue people and fight fires. it took some time but his flashbacks, anxiety, nightmares....did eventually go away. he had to take a break from the job but recently as an adult he went back and is not able to handle what it takes to be a firefighter.

We have had some teens come in to the crisis center who were junior firefighters that had the same problems that you now have. it does take time to work through everything. Some have decided despite the fall out they have at the moment from their job as firefighters, they will continue being fire fighters and others wont.

you may have to decide whether being a firefighter is right for you and your mental health. it may be that this job isnt the right one for you since you are having such a hard time adjusting to what you go through in this type of job,

my suggestion take some time off and enter therapy so you have a mental health professional helping you work though this, and then after things settle down for you, decide whether its worth being a firefighter for you or not.

[Open Eyes]

(((firefighter))),

I have a friend that was a volunteer firefighter and he developed PTSD and had the same challenges you are discribing. That is a very challenging job and typically many firefighters only last about 5 years max and often many of them struggle with PTSD symptoms and flashbacks like you are discribing. This doesn't mean you are a failure either, this is such a challenging job and these men see some very horrific things.

Many of these men like the adreneline rush and can remain quite calm and in control when involved in a situation. However, they tend to really "struggle" "after" they are away from the situation and the reality and gravity of it hits them. This is exactly what my friend expressed. And sometimes these men begin to even get addicted to this type of work because they "want to revist the challenge and find a way to finally overcome their troubled reactions". Some of these men do find a way to desensitize themselves, but many don't and instead develope PTSD. That doesn't mean they are failures, it is just that alot of people simply can't take that kind of exposure.

I hope you reach out and find a therapist that specializes in PTSD and can help you work through this.

Open Eyes

[firefighter369]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

I see by your past posts that you became a firefighter during your teen age years. first may I say that joining the fire fighters in your location is an amazing thing to do. here in NY we have a junior fire fighting program too where teen agers as young as 12 and 13 yr olds can join, learn about being a firefighter, partake in drills, control fire rescues, and on occasion those that are ready can go out on calls supervised by an adult firefighter at their side to make sure the teen isnt in a dangerious situation but can experience helping to rescue/use their training first hand. this allows the teens to fully understand the job and what it takes mentally and physically to be a volunteer firefighter.

one of my siblings was court mandated to partake in our junior fire fighters program because he liked to set fires. he learned so much and he did for a time have PTSD issues over what he experienced as part of being a firefighter where he had to rescue people and fight fires. it took some time but his flashbacks, anxiety, nightmares....did eventually go away. he had to take a break from the job but recently as an adult he went back and is not able to handle what it takes to be a firefighter.

We have had some teens come in to the crisis center who were junior firefighters that had the same problems that you now have. it does take time to work through everything. Some have decided despite the fall out they have at the moment from their job as firefighters, they will continue being fire fighters and others wont.

you may have to decide whether being a firefighter is right for you and your mental health. it may be that this job isnt the right one for you since you are having such a hard time adjusting to what you go through in this type of job,

my suggestion take some time off and enter therapy so you have a mental health professional helping you work though this, and then after things settle down for you, decide whether its worth being a firefighter for you or not.

I had a talk with my fire chief and he said it is normal for firefighters to see these kinda things and he has been doing it since he was 16...I took a 2 and a half month break and that's when things went down hill...it might be telling me that taking the break was a bad idea....I know I cant quit for good...my brother is a volunteer firefighter and so is my dad so im never gonna get away of the sound of the fire pager going off....and even on my break it killed me not running on the calls...it almost made me feel guilty....if something happened to one of my fellow firefighters while I was away I would be heart broken because I wouldn't have been their to try and help them