If I feel guilty about something small, much more guilt than is relative to the small offense comes upon my thoughts and causes me great anxiety and panic. I blame myself easily for too many things and crimes that I did not commit. It is difficult to socialize for me, because of this.

[optimize990h]

Are triggers involved with these persecutory thoughts? Do you have a counsellor or therapist? Hope that helps to get started on working out the issues you mentioned.

A therapist would help you process the pattern of behaviours that you described.

Take care. It's good that you are posting about that.

I am being attended to by a licensed Psychologist who teaches graduate students at Harverd or Cambridge University. He is aware of my difficulties. Thank you for posting your thougtfull message. Being alone and becoming emotional can be lonely and cause me to spiral down a bit too much. Thoughtful messages such as yours, can disrupt this spiral downward to guilt and other potentially damaging emotions. I have been without money for groceries and having to travel by foot and bus in frigid cold weather while, at times, being under dressed due to my mental illness. I have recently gotten a case manager to assist me in not becoming too disorganized as to be emotionally desperate and vulnerable to thoughtless insults. Psyche central impresses me with its capacity to contain my ramblings to be benign. I have received funds now and I'm sure my ramblings will be less desperate. I am taking better care of myself and am becoming further in time from the death of my soul mate on earth, my wife. She died in november.

I am emotionally raw because she nurtured me like a momma and her death has left a large void. I am making great strides in findnig this nurturing from other sources and am succeding.

I have hope for my future being meaningful and providing the essentials for myself and step son.

I am managing my life and affairs well thorugh this turbulant time. The mental health providers in my life will affirm this statement aforementined. I have triggers.

[Big Mama]

Brook, I feel so badly for you. I am glad you have professionals in your life looking out for you. They will surely continue to see that your needs are met and that you get the care and help you may need weather it is mental, a friend or groceries. You know if you ever need a friend PM me. Folks at PC are very nice to, and so nonjudgemental. Keep talking to us.

[wishingtobegentle]

hi brook, i have the same thing your originally posted about - negative views of myself and guilt that are not proportional to whatever i might have done wrong. i think it is maybe, in my case, an obsessive/compulsive thought pattern. there is a particular o.c.d. symptom called "scrupulosity" that is used to describe the phenomenon.

good luck to you and be easy with yourself please.

[Open Eyes]

((brookwest)),

I am sooo sorry about the loss of your wife, it has not been that long from November.
It takes a while to find your way after a big loss like that. I think your being patient with yourself is good. Whenever you get low, remember that your wife would not want that for you, think about her gentle voice reminding you to pick yourself up and keep trying, she would want you to heal and find a way to enjoy your life again.

Honestly, I believe our loved ones that pass on, never really leave us, they just shed their bodies but still watch over us and love us.

(((Hugs)))

https://www.youtube.com/watch?featur...&v=Zhly_ysCk4s

[beauflow]

Originally Posted by brookwest

https://www.youtube.com/watch?featur...&v=Zhly_ysCk4s

music can be a wonder distraction for a break from what we are going through.

Very pretty sounding guitar

((((BrookWest))))

I don't have many wise words, but hang in there

[Big Mama]

Hey there, thank you for being a friend and being an inspiration to others. That song was beautiful. If music brings you peace then keep it up. You have a true gift.