This is more of a rant, so I may end up swearing a lot.

Anyway.
Lately I've been having a lot of nightmares about something that happened to me years ago. And they've just been getting worse and worse. I tried everything that people have suggested for me. I've tried writing out how I've been feeling and then hiding it away somewhere, but then when I finally got to sleep after an hour or so of just laying flat on my back, staring at the ceiling and being ****ing scared shitless, I end up having another, horrifying nightmare... and being the ****ing idiot that I am I decided to try sleeping again AFTER the nightmare and I just had another one!

SERIOUSLY?!

I was diagnosed with PTSD last year, and I've been trying to work on it with my therapist, but we kind of stopped working on it because I was getting worse whenever we'd try. I just don't think I'm ready to talk about it yet. But I want these nightmares to stop. I'm getting sick of going to bed at 3am and 4am just because I'm too scared to sleep. I have sleep paralysis, so thankfully I don't thrash or scream in my sleep, but still...

It's damn annoying and it makes me feel very ashamed of myself. I know it's probably my fault anyway for having these nightmares, but still. Just one night... ONE NIGHT is all I ask for.

Ugh. So, yes, I know these nightmares and flashbacks are just a part of the PTSD, but how do I get passed it?!

[kaliope]

im so sorry that this is happening to you. i wish there was something i could say that would help. Im sure you have tried herbal tea, no stimulation before bed, and deeply relaxing, breathing when laying down to sleep, imaging going to a safe place before drifting off to sleep. that would be all i have to suggest. otherwise, many

[sweepy62]

Sorry you been having nightmares I get them a lot and also right after therapy I have to deal with flashbacks all the time

[Open Eyes]

Hi Kori, I have had them too and I went many nights without real "sleep" myself. I have to go on Klonopin for a while just to get some sleep tbh.

You can't just write down something you have not resolved yet and throw it out telling yourself it's gone IMHO. The only thing that helps is bringing it out, talking about it and getting the validation and comfort you never had. Being "afraid" of your bad dreams isn't going to help you either, you have to face these things that your brain is trying so hard to figure out what to do with, where to file it away so you don't keep tossing and turning at night with no way of finally "filing" these things away. That is what our brain actually does, at night it takes everything we have takin in during the day and files it away for us, "processing".

I know it is hard to talk about the past, it can get worse before it gets better, I went through that myself, but with time you will learn how to manage better and actually get that sleep you so want.

((Hugs))
OE