Could use some advice

I have been an active member here for a while but spend most of my time in anxiety or the depression forums. I am not familier with PTSD so I need some advice.

My best friend was diagnosed with PTSD a little over a year ago. She gets extremely upset about loud noises to the point of hysteria. Last week we were having fire drill testing in my office building and they were going off nearly all morning. My friend was so upset by thing that everytime the alarm would sound she would well up with tears and ask me to excort her outside until the testing was over. She was so upset by the last test that he was shaking, literally shaking. She said that she was so afraid that something bad was happeing and I didnt know what to do. She ended up leaving work early because it was too much for her to handle. I didnt know how to help her. I didnt know how to calm her or convince her that everything was going to be ok.

Is there anything I can do for her? I stood by helpless and feeling guilty for not being able to do anything.

(((((((( ))))))))))))
I don't know Jen. You were there for her and walked outside with her everytime the alarm went off. You comforted her and talked to her. What more could you have done? I think you did all of what you could do. The rest is up to her 'cause she probably could either have an emergency stash of low dosage tranquilizers on hand for when this happens or she could go to therapy, if she's not already.
((((((((Jenn)))))))))
I hope she's okay. I think you were a kind and caring friend to her.

Yes, Jax is right. You are a wonderful friend just as you are and I'm sure she appreciates you. That she asked you to walk and be with her in the first place is wonderful. I have a work friend who has "random" panic attacks and the only thing she can do when one starts is go home from work and take her meds and a nap. I think your friend was brave and was surprised she was able to stay as long as she did!

I found the following good advice on a websearch:

Make no assumptions—ask the person what s/he needs.

Be predictable—don't surprise the person.

Let the person with the disorder set the pace for recovery.

Find something positive in every small step towards recovery.

Don't help the person avoid his/her fears.

Maintain your own life so you don't resent the person with the disorder.

Don't panic when the person with the disorder panics, but realize it's natural to be concerned with them.

Be patient and accepting, but don't settle for the affected person being permanently disabled.

Say encouraging words such as: "You can do it no matter how you feel. I am proud of you. Tell me what you need now. Breathe slow and low. Stay in the present. It's not the place that's bothering you, it's the thought. I know that what you are feeling is painful, but it's not dangerous. You are courageous."

Avoid saying things like: "Don't be anxious. Let's see if you can do this. You can fight this. What should we do next? Don't be ridculous. You have to stay. Don't be a coward." These phrases tend to blame the individual for the anxiety.

Jax, Perna and Rainbowzz,

Thank you very much for your advice and support. Very good tips to go by here. I appreciate your time and your posts. Thank you.

In addition to what rainbow listed, I would aske her what you can do to help her prior to an attack. Having a set plan in place before hand helps immensely, and just keeping a positive, neutral tone (ie: no excitement in your voice) works wonders.

One thing I absolutely hate when this happens to me, is someone saying are you ok? are you ok? you sure you ok? it just makes me think, do I not look ok? is something wrong? I know I am in the midst of one, but, is there something else going on????

You did a great job being supportive, I wish more people could be that way, PTSD is a really hard thing to live with, and the fact she stayed that long, I personally find amazing (coming from another sufferer!!).

hugs, on a job well done!

Lisa

jmo, wow the loud noise bells buzzers bangs and booms....... when i was n school i had to watch the clock cause everytime the period bells went off it was like a granade exploded next to me. if it caught me off guard, frgetaboutit, i wouldn't know where i was, what was nex, hwere my locker was....... anythng, and i only had 3 minutes to recover and figure it out and get to my next class. i had to keep my schedule close to hand so i could figure out where i was by where i was ....... it was a horrid existance. i could never concentrate fully on lessons because i had to watch the clock.

30 years later, when at Lily Tomlin's play: The Search for Intelligent Life in the Universe, she used the sound of cherry bombs going off to signify scene changes. I missed most of the show (even though i was sitting right there).

My suggestion is that Personnel be notified that she has PTSD and that she be warned of (and maybe allowed to wear noise cancelling headphones?) on those days or reassigned or.......

I agree that speaking with her while she's calm and making a plan to take care of her when she's been bombed is a great idea. I would have appreciated someone steering me to where I could feel safe so I could calm down. I had to deal with it all by myself. It sucked big time. Just like being bombed. No kidding. Thank you so much for getting involved.
I'm sure just that is a great comfort to her.

Flashbacks are just that way. I think you did well. A good trigger phrase she might be trying to incorporate (you can ask her) is "It isn't happening now..." whatever she's being triggered to remember... the worst thing I experience when an alarm goes off is that no one bothers with it, or responds and I NEED to!!!! When I'm unable to get out of the area, I become paralyzed inside with fear. Sure wish I had someone with me to lead me out and be with me when those things happen.

Many good suggestions already given. TC!

Just the fact that you were by her side is already helping. PTSD is different for everyone with different cues and difficult to understand if you don't know what caused it... Is your relationship strong enough that you can ask her what had caused it?

Many great suggestions here. Thank you so much for taking time to reply.

My friend and I have talked at length about mostly everything but she can not understand why loud noises make her feel this way. She becomes a totally different person. So scared and helpless. It breaks my heart to see her like this. She is also a sleepwalker. She tells me it has happened since childhood. She doesnt remember what she does when she is sleepwalking but she does things that could potentialy be harmful. Can the two be related?

Yeah, they could be related.

Her response could be an anxiety / fear response.

Does she have heightened startle responses at other times? When cars backfire, or when there is a sudden noise more generally?

It could be that she has a heightened anxiety / fear response that is really kicked off in response to loud noises.

Typically... People habituate. The body can't keep up an intense stress response for too long so eventually it gets tired and the fear lessens off.

But some people have responses that are very intense, very readily triggered / set off, and are very slow to habituate / return to baseline.

Does it seem like that is what is going on?