[transient]

trigger warning: mentions of abuse, dissociation, sex

Frankly, I feel like running away. If I had money I would fly to Philadelphia to be with my aunt.

My dad's cool behavior and angering way of speaking to me triggered me and reminded me about his psychological abuse to me. I'm scared of going to sleep because he used to tell me scary stories before going to bed.

My mom's drinking triggered me, I always get angry when my parents drink and I depersonalize/dissociate easily. Her drunken joking about my sister's boyfriend being a sexual predator (which I don't think is true. I think she just said it because theres a big age difference between them) triggered me and sent me into sobbing fits in my room for a long time until I couldn't hyperventilate any more because I was scared of passing out. The only thing going through my head was "I need to get a job and move out" which is another issue for another thread. It took me so long to calm down after that

And now my sister and her boyfriend are in the next room over, the walls paper thin, having sex. It's all causing me to think pretty harmful / unhealthy thoughts to myself and I want to get out of this place forever.
It might not seem like much to anyone, but this is a big deal for me. Even the mention of certain words trigger me and the way my family is.. I can't deal with it anymore.

Anyway, my point is, is it unreasonable to bang on the wall and tell them to stop?
I think it's really inconsiderate of my sister and her bf because her room is inbetween mine (i'm only 19) and my brothers (a 16 year old). This isn't the first time she's done this when both of us were trying to sleep. I mentioned it to my mom and she just said "I don't want to hear about it"

I kinda of want to tell my mom that if it happens again I'm going to grab a blanket and a knife for self defense and sleep somewhere else (probably a nearby church) because if I hear them again, I might get angry and say something, which can most likely cause my sister to be angry at me, which I don't want because I'm afraid of her.

[gayleggg]

Have you spoken to your sister and asked her to knock it off? Or does she just not care? I can see why your family triggers you. You might want to try meditation to help you relax and stay calmer. Are you in therapy? I'm sure that would help. It's terrible you have to live in a home in which you are scared. I hope things get easier for you. Stay strong.

[Gus1234U]

dear Tranzi~ my heart goes out to you. i know how hard it is to deal with triggers, which seem to explode instantly into unwanted emotions and actions. i think the suggestion of meditation is a very good one, because it helped me become less sensitive to stimuli, and less reactive. also, there are other coping skills which you can learn and use, that reduce the amounts of stress you feel in the situation.

here are some of the Coping Skills i learned for managing anxiety, and found to work well for stress AND PTSD~ i hope you find some of them useful ~

i have posted these before, but am bringing them together and up to date~

Coping With Anxiety and Panic:

1. Remember, feelings of panic are just exaggerations of normal bodily stress reactions.

2. Sensations are neither harmful nor dangerous - just unpleasant. Nothing worse will happen.

3. Anxiety is temporary. Instead of fighting it, relax into it. Just let it be.

4. Focus on facing the fear rather than trying to avoid it or escape from it.

5. Stop adding to the panic with frightening thoughts of where panic will lead.

6. Stay in the present. Be aware of what is happening to you rather than concern yourself with how much worse it might get.

7. Notice that when you stop adding to panic with frightening thoughts, the fear begins to fade.

8. Wait and give the fear time to pass.

9. Look around you. Plan what you will do next as the panic subsides.

10. When you are ready to go on, do so in an easy, relaxed manner. There is no hurry.

11. Think about the progress made so far despite all the difficulties.

Some Specific Actions:

1. Manage your breathing, if it is rapid, breathe into a paper sack to lower oxygen uptake;

2. Count your breaths, 1001, 1002, 1003, ect, up to 1020, then start again, slow down the count to slow your heartbeat. counting interferes with anxiety;

3. Delay doing anything about your anxiety or panic, just follow the steps and focus on getting thru it;

4. Distract yourself, with anything that requires you to focus and is simple and handy - at home you might read something easy, like a magazine, or knit or wash dishes, whatever engages your attention;

5. Eat something to replenish the blood sugars that adrenalin has burned up, and give yourself at least 15 minutes for the kidneys to clean out the 'ashes' in your blood;

6. Write these things down and keep them with you, until you have made them a habit

practice these skills before you need them, or when you are just mildly anxious, so they will be familiar when you are feeling very upset. i hope you find this information helpful~

best wishes~
Gus

[transient]

Thank you both, to the both of you!
@gayle- my sister doesn't care & is difficult to talk to, especially when I'm telling her something I don't like that she's doing. It's futile to talk to her most of the time.
I've stopped going to therapy for the time being, because 25$ a visit is too much and my insurance won't pay for any more. and unfortunately meditation causes me to hallucinate

I want to be able to get a job so i can live on my own, but my ptsd and anxiety stops me