I am being treated for complex PTSD, some issues from childhood and some are work related. Ive been working with a psyd for about a yr now who felt that as long as I stayed at my job he was only treating the symptoms and I was just being re traumatized by my job. So after 17 yrs I finally quit. Crazy thing is I worked at a treatment center for juvenile sex offenders and over time the clients have gotten worse, major mental illness and major histories of violence. Ive always loved my job and im good at it. But it amazes me that the staff can be assaulted, abused and mistreated and an agency FILLED with treatment providers does absolutely nothing to take care of their own employees. Feeling brokenhearted and lost right now.

[sandersdillion948]

Sorry to hear you quit your job, I understand what you are going through, I have ptsd really bad from childhood sex abuse, for 28 years I did not even realize what happen to me. I study Social Work, even in my experiences I have to be careful not to trip the PTSD out of me. I have quit many jobs because the PTSD just got so bad I couldn't even get out of bed, yet I could not sleep for very long either. Hang in there, where one door closes another opens.

[Open Eyes]

(((Newfie girl))),

I am sorry you had to finally quit your job because it was constantly triggering the PTSD. I understand what your psychologist was saying, my psychologist has told me that because I have been in a lawsuit for so long, not been able to have closure to my trauma, it is very hard for him to help me move forward with the PTSD. What he was doing was just helping me manage the symptoms too.

In your case, while you were probably very good at validating and empathizing with these various patients, it just kept triggering your PTSD at the same time. It honestly doesn't surprise me that you have not gotten more support from the staff either, they are probably desensitized to that environment and those kinds of scenarios. That actually happens in a lot of medical treatment places, hospitals and psych wards and other places where there is so much of something that the staff becomes hardened and somewhat mechanical.

This may be a way to find something to do where you are not triggered and stressed which aggravates the PTSD.

Part of my PTSD is also from childhood sexual abuse and working with sex offenders may have also triggered some of it.

[Open Eyes]

Yes, that is highly probable. Often what can happen with people who struggle with PTSD is they can be drawn to the very thing that hurt them. It is their minds way of pushing past it by constant exposure. That often doesn't work, one has to work through their trauma, mourn it and heal and develop better coping skills first. It is not unusual for example for a therapist to enter into the field of psychology because they were traumatized or hurt themselves in some way. They are often trying to fix something, and sometimes they heal while helping others heal, but many times doing that therapy work ends up breaking them to where they need help themselves. It is not uncommon for a therapist to have a therapist.

It was time for you to walk away and work on your own healing.

(((Hugs)))
OE

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

Yes, that is highly probable. Often what can happen with people who struggle with PTSD is they can be drawn to the very thing that hurt them. It is their minds way of pushing past it by constant exposure. That often doesn't work, one has to work through their trauma, mourn it and heal and develop better coping skills first. It is not unusual for example for a therapist to enter into the field of psychology because they were traumatized or hurt themselves in some way. They are often trying to fix something, and sometimes they heal while helping others heal, but many times doing
that therapy work ends up breaking them to where they
need help themselves. It is not uncommon for a
therapist to have a therapist.



It was time for you to walk away and work on your own healing.

(((Hugs)))
OE

This is true about being drawn to things like that? The sexual offenses I never told any one my whole life, until last year when I told the psyd. As for work, it wasnt my coworkers it was the administration that are the problem.

I feel so damaged , I spent my youth distrusting everyone one and isolated and NEVER understood why or never saw it as a problem untill a year ago and NOW I see how its affected my whole life all along. I had more heavy trauma at 16 and that was never dealt with either by anyone. Other smaller traumas along the way(ya im minimizing them). I hurt so bad and im so emotional nowand I never used to be that way and I just want it to be done. No more falling to pcs, no more flashbacks, no more insomnia........... no more.....

[Open Eyes]

(((Newfie girl)))),

Your post above? You need to talk to your therapist about how you are feeling. Leaving your job and all of this change, including what you said about the administration at work, is all playing into the unresolved about what happened to you in the past that you have not really "grieved" and healed from.

I know what you are feeling, and the gravity of what you are saying and I understand you are overwhelmed right now. This is something you need to work through, and now that you are not in a work situation that has been triggering you, and even giving you negative messages, you can now focus on what is needed "yourself".

It sounds to me that you are beginning to recognize your victim mentality. You developed your own coping methods that you just didn't see before like you are seeing right now.

What you are talking about right now "the symptoms" and emotional state you are in? You are going to work your way past this. I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but you will get past this. I can tell by what you are saying above you are experiencing a PTSD cycle. This is when you need to rest, slow down, and be patient with it. This cycle will pass. I have had these too, said similar things, but I noticed now that it is a cycle and a cycle can last a day to a few days, but you can come out of this, and do better.

You need to be patient with working through all this right now and I think that now that you are away from that work environment, you can now do what you need to do so you can finally heal. Just because you have these symptoms doesn't mean you will always have them, you can actually learn to work through them and finally get to a point where instead of you feeling so emotional like this, what does take place is you just have a memory that grows weaker and weaker at producing these emotional cycles.

(((Supportive Caring Hugs)))
OE

[grandma21964]

Originally Posted by Newfie girl

I am being treated for complex PTSD, some issues from childhood and some are work related. Ive been working with a psyd for about a yr now who felt that as long as I stayed at my job he was only treating the symptoms and I was just being re traumatized by my job. So after 17 yrs I finally quit. Crazy thing is I worked at a treatment center for juvenile sex offenders and over time the clients have gotten worse, major mental illness and major histories of violence. Ive always loved my job and im good at it. But it amazes me that the staff can be assaulted, abused and mistreated and an agency FILLED with treatment providers does absolutely nothing to take care of their own employees. Feeling brokenhearted and lost right now.

Hi Newfie girl,

I'm sending out a hug to ya . So sorry to hear about how you were treated. Its good your talking about it.
Maybe it was time to quit?
Think about the darn stress and risk of getting hurt. Already your hurt and nobody physically hurt you, however the emotional hurt is harder. So Hugs are in order, and you need them and plenty of people to talk to! Heres another one,

Oh yeah and here's a smiley for ya too
Grandma

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

(((Newfie girl)))),

Your post above? You need to talk to your therapist about how you are feeling. Leaving your job and all of this change, including what you said about the administration at work, is all playing into the unresolved about what happened to you in the past that you have not really "grieved" and healed from.

I know what you are feeling, and the gravity of what you are saying and I understand you are overwhelmed right now. This is something you need to work through, and now that you are not in a work situation that has been triggering you, and even giving you negative messages, you can now focus on what is needed "yourself".

It sounds to me that you are beginning to recognize your victim mentality. You developed your own coping methods that you just didn't see before like you are seeing right now.

What you are talking about right now "the symptoms" and emotional state you are in? You are going to work your way past this. I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but you will get past this. I can tell by what you are saying above you are experiencing a PTSD cycle. This is when you need to rest, slow down, and be patient with it. This cycle will pass. I have had these too, said similar things, but I noticed now that it is a cycle and a cycle can last a day to a few days, but you can come out of this, and do better.

You need to be patient with working through all this right now and I think that now that you are away from that work environment, you can now do what you need to do so you can finally heal. Just because you have these symptoms doesn't mean you will always have them, you can actually learn to work through them and finally get to a point where instead of you feeling so emotional like this, what does take place is you just have a memory that grows weaker and weaker at producing these emotional cycles.

(((Supportive Caring Hugs)))
OE

Oh I hope so. I absolutely hate and despise this emotional part. I feel out of control and I am really not a talker and I just want to forget about all of this and move on. I have spoken to my Psyd about the issues at work, he was the one who told me that as long as I worked there he was only treating the symptoms and that every time I walked in there I was just being re traumatized.

Originally Posted by grandma21964

Hi Newfie girl,

I'm sending out a hug to ya . So sorry to hear about how you were treated. Its good your talking about it.
Maybe it was time to quit?
Think about the darn stress and risk of getting hurt. Already your hurt and nobody physically hurt you, however the emotional hurt is harder. So Hugs are in order, and you need them and plenty of people to talk to! Heres another one,

Oh yeah and here's a smiley for ya too
Grandma

Thank you for your kind words. They have touched me.

Thank you so much ((((open eyes)))).. I am learning things I did not know.

[Open Eyes]

Originally Posted by Newfie girl

Oh I hope so. I absolutely hate and despise this emotional part. I feel out of control and I am really not a talker and I just want to forget about all of this and move on. I have spoken to my Psyd about the issues at work, he was the one who told me that as long as I worked there he was only treating the symptoms and that every time I walked in there I was just being re traumatized.

Yes your T was right because all you are seeing is victims constantly, victims like yourself. You can empathize with them, but you never got a chance to
finally work through your own trauma and that environment was only
keeping your own trauma in the present for you. And as you mentioned, you were seeing many of them get worse, and many of them probably were developing PTSD, instead of actually getting the grief counseling and support they really need. Also, it is not unusual for administrative personel to become numb to that either, instead it becomes more of "just processing people" and moving them along and unfortunately, moving them along doesn't mean they will actually get what they need, sadly.

[purple sinatra]

Newfie girl, I completely understand . I had PTSD and did not even know it until recently, about a year ago. I was working for an extremely abusive boss in a VERY hostile work place that triggered childhood PTSD . I starting getting awful headaches, couldn't get out of bed, panic attacks, you name it. I no longer work there and am on the path to making my life healthier. Things WILL get better. Stay strong.

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I sure hope so, this emotional roller coaster is old and im used to being in control of myself. I'm not feeling that way any more and I dont like it.

Originally Posted by purple sinatra

Newfie girl, I completely understand . I had PTSD and did not even know it until recently, about a year ago. I was working for an extremely abusive boss in a VERY hostile work place that triggered childhood PTSD . I starting getting awful headaches, couldn't get out of bed, panic attacks, you name it. I no longer work there and am on the path to making my life healthier. Things WILL get better. Stay strong.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk