[dwight W Davis]

because I have bipolar and PTSD I find it very hard to leave my home. even for dinner with my wife I want to stay home and not go out in public. does anyone else have this issue?

[Open Eyes]

Yes (((Dwight))), I struggle with that all the time. I have to really "push" myself a lot because I still have to work to have money to take care of what I have left of my horses and ponies, but also to earn money to pay on the debt my neighbor put me in because of all the damage their dog did to my horses and ponies. In my honest opinion, that isn't bipolar and I really feel that that is diagnosed wrong and all it really is, is PTSD, that presents cycles similar to bipolar. It is not uncommon for PTSD to get misdiagnosed as other disorders either. Well, maybe some day they will have the right technology that can really show what I am saying.

After I do push myself to get out and work on a weekend where I am around all different kinds of people, by Monday I am totally exhausted and no, my family just doesn't understand that either. I had a really challenging day this past Saturday because I was trying to get a job in and it was raining but the front was due to pass. I did everything I could to get some hours in because I just really need the money so badly. I have to really work hard to control the PTSD symptoms too. I tried to explain that to my husband who was with me, I wish he knew how much work it really is to keep it together and not over react. I genuinely feel like I am holding up such a big emotional wall that just wants to fall down where the emotions can come rushing out of me. It took me a very long time to learn how to manage this challenge, to understand it and work at it so I could function around other people.

What people do not understand about wanting to stay home is that it isn't so much that we don't want to go out, it is that if we do we may be required to do what I have to do every time I do go out which is get a real workout managing the PTSD symptoms and it is just so exhausting sometimes. I know what the symptom "practicing avoidance and isolating" means from the inside, "why" someone with PTSD does that, it is just because of the realization that going out can actually become anything "but" a pleasure. It isn't always a conscious thing either, it comes from very deep in the mind and it takes time to understand, and it is so frustrating trying to explain it to others who just do not understand what the PTSD challenge is to the brain.

That being said Dwight, while I know it is a challenge, you should try to push for short ventures out because not all ventures out will be triggering, sometimes it can actually be pleasant and can encourage you to doing it more and more. While I have been challenged at times, I have also had nice days where I was glad I ventured out too. I will say that if I do go out to a restaurant, I make it an effort to go to one that isn't crowded and noisy and I can actually sit in a fairly quiet spot and relax and enjoy my meal.

So, you are not alone with this challenge, but as I said, you should try to get out with gradual increasing time periods, even if you just start by going for a ride to a quiet beach or park and just sitting for a bit and then head home. Sometimes the hardest part is the anticipation before venturing out. You can learn to recognize that and also know that you can get past it and go out and have pleasant experiences.

(((Hugs)))

Yes. When I'm out, I experience increasing levels of stress until I finally get back home. The longer I'm out, the more stress I develop. So being out can be an unpleasant experience. I do go out with my wife whenever & wherever she wants to go. I just suck it up & do it. But I rarely go out alone, except to walk our dog. I find, though, that as I get older (& I am) there are fewer & fewer places I even want to go. So it works out...

[bobbi21671]

until recently i would not go out by myself because i had several fears, getting lost, having a panic attack, having a flashback, etc. I say until recently because I recently obtained a PTSD service dog which has made my world open up again. At first it was small things with my husband still. The three of us would go to the car wash and while he was washing the truck, Mattie (dog) and I would walk over to the store and look around. Another day all three of us went to the hardware store and Mattie and I walked around while hubby was busy with other things. Eventually it was short trips to the quick shop with just me and Mattie, or a quick trip to Walmart to pick up something small. This has been going on for 3 weeks and this past weekend Mattie and I went grocery shopping alone and to the zoo and to a movie.... ALL BY OURSELVES! Mattie knows when I start feeling panicky, and will give me indicators that I am not alone. She can help me get out of the store quickly and helps me find my truck. She can also do crowd control if people start getting too close. She sleeps with me when my husband works nights and starts licking my face when I start crying out in my sleep or wake up yelling or crying. She brings me back to the present. The odd thing is that I do go to work and doctor's appointments alone. I think that is because for the most part those are safe places... most of the time... I work at a childrens psychiatric center but they aren't very understanding of adults having issues. I have had panic attacks where I had to leave abruptly and flashbacks where I am crying uncontrollably. I want to take Mattie with me to work, but my supervisor doesn't think it would go over well with HR since they are already "watching me" due to my emotional state. sorry to go on, but yes I do have issues going out by myself.... but I can go for a walk with Mattie now....I have even had a panic attack when out with my husband and had to leave as I was shaking and crying but he didn't really understand why I was upset, so that makes it harder. I wish you luck working through this part.

Yes I suffer with this too. It used to be worse for me in the past but I'm slowly trying to get myself out of the house. There's times whenever I'm out in public where I get very anxious and I'm afraid that I might have an anxiety attack or see my abuser: this scares me a lot which keeps me inside my house most of the time. This also stops me from trying to make friends, cause I'm afraid they might know him or something: but I understand that it's paranoia that I have.

Start off small: go out for a walk and if it makes you nervous going out, make sure it's closer to home so that way you can get home in case you have an anxiety attack or something. Bring yourself some water and maybe an ipod: try listening to soothing music when you're outside. It'll simply relax you and take you're mind off of things. Music has helped me and it seems to be one of the things right now that relaxes me whenever I go out. Try this out and see if this helps you out. Another thing you could do is go to a park and take in nature that's around you. Focus on it and look at all the birds that's flying in the sky. The more you focus so deeply on something, little by little you'll notice how more relaxed you've become.

I was never in combat-mine came from a very abusive childhood, being raped in the army and then kicked out, two abusive husbands and the loss of two children.

I'm better at going out now than I used to be. Not as many panic attacks, but there are errands that must be done. I feel safe in my home when I am awake. The VA is giving me something new for the night terrors. It used to take a couple of hours to come out of them and I was useless the next day or two. I was afraid the meds would vail my creativity, but it hasn't. So I go out 2 or 3 times a week but it is always exhausting and I don't feel safe until I am home.

It's something I struggle with as well. It started for me around the same time that I began being homeschooled way back, and now that I'm in my 30s it's gotten much worse.

Excluding appointments or when I had to pick up something I can't go without, the last time I managed to get myself "out there" would be back in February 2013 when I went to a party for my niece.

It would be easier if I could go unnoticed when out, but my appearance makes me stand out - and not in a positive way.