[obsids]

I've got the Christmas blahs. I hate this time of year. I can't sleep, even with the full dose of my sleep meds. Maybe it is because part of my subconscience doesn't want to face the nightmares again.

I'm coming up on the anniversary of my adoption/transfer date. It will have been 32 years on December 27 that I was brought over here on an airplane and dumped into the abusive arms of total strangers. I was four months old. And I'd been abandoned three times prior to this. This time, I was being left off in a foreign country (the US) with strangers. Even the clothes I had worn on the plane trip from Korea were taken away.

And every night I lie awake for hours, in a semi-hypnotic state from the temazepam I take. But I don't sleep. Eventually I sleep, and then the nightmares come. I hate Christmastime.

[(JD)]

Memories can be tough. Try and stay in the here and now if you can.

The holidays will be over before long... hang in there. (((hugs)))

[FaithisAlive]

I'm so sorry you have lived with so much pain....but know this...clearly you have a purpose here or else you would not have survived and become the person you are...

And here you are... thankfully...and I hope that one day you will be able to lie down and sleep peacefully on your own because you finally feel safe.

I recently learned that my insomnia was more about fear; fear of closing my eyes and not being aware of my suroundings.

A coping tool that served me well throughout my childhood.But in adulthood it became a sleep phobia.. and once I accepted that I don't have anything to be afraid of anymore, I can sleep.

Nightmares are a different thing altogether.... i have had my share... I used to have night terrors alot as a child...dreams can keep ya from going to sleep for sure...
I wish I could help ya with that one..

I wish you could enjoy Christmas. it is truly a joyous time... I'm sorry it was ruined for you....You deserve to feel the joy of Christmas.I pray you find peace in your heart and spirit soon...with love, Faith

[froggie2]

Faith said it all. If you can find the peace and joy of Christmas. Sorry you have had such a tough time.

[__zh]

can't even imagine the nightmares you face so soo sorry obsids

would the doc consider a sleep med change? temazepam worked for only so long in our case.....we've rotated sleep meds ON our doc's suggestion whenever one poops out and the quality of sleep is poor.

breakthrough stressors during peak times for each persons PTSD can be assisted a bit more sometimes with help from the med doc and the therapist...and even additional support from other sources.

glad you posted here to let us all know. again, so dang sorry this is what you face at this time of year.

we wish you peace and hold you dear in our thoughts at this most stressful of times for you.

kindly,

[Tycoon]

(((((((((((obsids ))))))))))))))