[sandersdillion948]

I lived with a man who used me, he would use my body, he did it to many people, if not hundreds of people. He manipulated me, i was exploited. The same game. He woke me up one morning when he flung the door open and charged at me. He woke me up out of a dead sleep and was groping me, it not in a "Coming on to me" sort of way. I asked him to stop and he would not stop, eventually I had to use all the force I had to push him off of me. This went on for a few minutes, he would not stop groping me when I asked him to stop. I had had dreams about that morning and have spent 10 years hiding what happened, I felt somewhat responsible for putting myself in the position, I did have consensual sex with him early in the ((relationship)) we were not dating, only had sex. We did not have any sex for two months and that is when he did this to me. I feel sort of dazed and confused.

What is this?

[Open Eyes]

This is not your fault first of all. There "are" men out there like this, and they are attracted to a certain type of woman that inexperienced and on the shy side. I was that kind of female and the more I showed fear/shy/quiet, the more these creeps pursued me. Once a victim this kind of person is even more shy, which makes them stand out to these creeps even more. That is why these victims begin to have these experiences over and over and don't understand "why" they keep having this happen to them.

I can't remember exactly when I learned this, but I finally learned that when this type of man or many men seemed to be attracted to me, is instead of my being shy and what they liked, I became the opposite, I would tell a dirty joke in a strong way and learn right into them and laugh. It always turned them off, always.

If you were to turn the table and get aggressive back to him to where "he" needed to actually "please you", you would scare him away and turn him off. These males are cowards and are all about "control and power", they are horrible sex partners too because their are "only in it for their control because they are really just cowards, they really are".

Victims are always pursued by the wrong males, abusers, because victims are what attract these abusers.

What is also true is that if a man was raised by a strong minded narcissistic type mother, they will often pursue these kind of women or what they perceive this type of woman because they seem strong and out going often because of their deep need to find a way to overcome what they did not get or were hurt by in their past. It can actually become a kind of "sick obsession" for some men. It is actually "sad" once one understands how that "sickness and obsession originated.

You need to learn how to stop the "victim mentality" once and for all. You need to understand "why" you are challenged and finally learn how to overcome it and that you "can" learn to do just that.

It is only a "good game" for an abuser if the victim gives them what they want/need to gain their sense of "needing to control to make up for their low self esteem issues". In either case I have described, it is only a dysfunctional way of these males to "gain attention", something that was missing for them in their past.

Most bullies target individuals when they know these individuals will respond the way they need to "feed their need for power because of their
lack from something in their past". People don't understand why they pick on those who are obviously weaker in some way, well, that is because they know they will get the response they need to gain that "high they need to feed into that is covering that low self esteem in them".

OE

[pegasus]

You did not consent, you were forced so the answer is very clear. I hope you will seek therapy for this.

[sandersdillion948]

I told him to stop, and he kept grabbing at my privates, it went on for at least 2 minutes, he pulled the blanket off me when he was doing it. Is it still assault? or battery? or am I blowing it out of proportion??

[Open Eyes]

If you said "no" and it was not consensual it is rape. You need to get away from this
person, don't say you are leaving, just get out when he isn't there.

OE

[sandersdillion948]

Attempted rape? There was no penetration. Thank you, I am no longer near him.

[Open Eyes]

Oh I am glad to hear you are no longer with him. I think that what you are doing now
is because you are away from that, you are looking back and trying to put it all into place so you know what it meant so you don't have it happen again, you learn from it.

I gave you some things to think about, some helpful information so you can learn to prevent this in your future.

((Hugs))
OE