[wolfie205]

I don't know if this is normal for people with PTSD. I struggle a lot with paranoia and hypervigilance which makes it difficult for me to trust people. I think not being able to feel safe or trust my therapist is the hardest of all. Sometimes, I feel like my therapist is just pretending to care and that I can't trust her because she talks about me to the other staff working there. I don't feel safe there. I get nervous sitting in the waiting room before my sessions. I feel like the staff there are talking about me or laughing at me. It really feels real. I know PTSD makes me a little more paranoid or hypervigilant than most people but it's just very hard to believe it's all in your head when you feel that it's true. I used to get the same paranoid thoughts with the last therapist I saw which made me question if this is more me than the people working there. Like hearing the conversations or any kind of laughter at that place makes me brain jump immediately to they are laughing about me or talking about me. My brain comes up with all these possible scenarios as to what they are talking or laughing about. Has anyone ever experienced the same thing? Is it just part of the PTSD?

[Open Eyes]

Hi Wolfie,

I think it depends upon your history, were you ever bullied or experienced having people talk about you behind your back like that?

A therapist isn't allowed to discuss patients with their staff, that is private and between the therapist and the patient. Actually, a big part of the therapist's job is making sure their patient feels safe with them.

If you have these feelings, you should bring them up with your therapist and see what he/she says. It's actually pretty normal for a person to feel uncomfortable like that and the therapist is suppose to help them with that. A dedicated therapist actually "does" care, they do it because they like to "help" people because it is rewarding for them, and many therapists get into that field because they had challenges themselves.

((Hugs))
OE

I had the same therapist for six years. I really liked her and trusted her until I realized she was repeating some very personal things to my shrink (whom I disliked intensely.) I could never really trust her again and found myself withholding things from her because I felt as if she did not respect me and though she helped me I could not help but think of her as a snitch.

[Open Eyes]

Tea, it is normal for a psychologist to discuss a patient with a psychiatrist. It doesn't always mean "betrayal" because sometimes with getting more into a patient's history
the challenges of the patient can be seen differently. Actually, I would not mind if the T I have now got to speak to the psychiatrist I had that misdiagnosed me and prescribed a medication that only aggravated my PTSD instead of helping.

It depends on "what" was told to the psychiatrist too. I hope you discussed this with that therapist and got a chance to address it and clear things up.

One of the things I always think about is that all these professionals are "practicing" which means that as they "practice" they are continuously learning. If something is learned because I talked it out and explained something in more detail with a T or even a psychiatrist and they learn something, I always remember it may aide in helping them with better treating another patient. As long as the end result means the patient is being heard and helped and understood better, that is always what counts the most IMHO.

OE

[Bolivar83]

Dear Wolfie205: Just wanted to let you know you are not alone in these thoughts. I wonder if the these feelings are more specific to certain kinds of trauma that caused the PTSD (ie: if from stalking, assault vs accident vs combat-related). But I think the hypervigilance and paranoia are pretty "par for the course" with PTSD. Please know, with time and treatment, the symptoms can lessen.

Therapy can be a scary prospect, even as it provides relief. There is so much trust involved in the exchange, and it can seem incredibly risky to reveal personal information to a stranger, however qualified they are on paper. As SkyWhite has posted, I've also found at the clinic I go to that discussion of my case is common practice - there is a "treatment team" for clients, and everyone from the psych, to the case manager, to group leaders share information to better help all clients who suffer from PTSD.

I've had a few therapists who just weren't a good fit, for whatever reason - is it possible to try someone else?

Wishing you the best - take care. Bolivar

[thickntired]

It took me a while to get the point that these mental health providers work for me and, I can keep looking until I feel safe. I did experience exactly what you're describing when I was working. I thought all the meetings were about me and my short comings. When I walked past anyone laughing they were laughing at me and how stupid I was. I feel the same about telling Dr's about my real thoughts. I also think the pdoc or T will get to know me and end their services because I'm beyond getting help. It's very frightening.

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