[ladyperson]

Sometimes I have these panic attacks where I get really dissociated and then I have this weird tactile hallucination thing, where it feels like I am being sexually penetrated. It's really scary and always comes with this overwhelming feeling of shame and worthlessness. I don't understand what it is that causes this. I don't have a history of sexual abuse (at least not one I remember), and none of my doctors seem to really understand what I'm talking about when I share this with them.
Has anyone else ever had a similar experience? Any ideas on what this could be?

[kaliope]

maybe you are asking the wrong drs. i have ptsd from trauma. i had no memory of sexual abuse but it turns out there was lots of it. i have had tactile hallucinations. i spent years with a therapist that minimized my trama because he didnt know how to handle it. this really made my mental health worse. i recently started with a phd that specialized in trauma therapy and dissociation. she says most professionals dont understand this. even my own psychiatrist doesnt understand it. but working with her so much has come out that i have been repressing for years and my anxiety level has greatly decreased now that i am finally getting it out. she uses hypnosis and emdr to work with me. having the right professional really counts

[ThisWayOut]

I have similar experiences. It's difficult to describe to my t, but I think she is starting to understand it. For me though, it's just the start of more memories coming together. I can't always sit through the sensations (because they are very disturbing), but when I do manage it, I always hit a memory... not fun.
I'm sorry you are also struggling with something similar. I also would recommend maybe talking to someone who specialized in trauma. I know when I told the doctor at the hospital about it, he categorized it as psychosis (despite me saying it was how my flashbacks started).