[SecondSkin]

I suppose I could consider myself lucky... having one stupid awful terrible trauma. But it was almost seven years ago. And it's still running my life.
I'm new to this forum.
Does it get better?

I just started doing EMDR and that (so far, after one session) has made me feel like my world's caved in.

[MotownJohnny]

Hi there. Welcome. Sorry you have to go through that. All of us here struggle, but we are still here, still alive, because we are survivors and have faith it will get better.

Please don't give up on therapy after one session. Yes, the therapy process can hurt like Hell, and seem like it is making things worse in the short term. But you have to be able to set aside short term pain and focus on the long term perspective of "it was worth it to get to a better place." Think of so many things medical - they do hurt, they are bad to go through. There may be blood and gore. But the long term benefits outweigh the pain, so we endure it. Therapists have to take you to the edge of unmanageable pain but hold you back just enough to prevent you from falling in, so you can see what us there. And then bring you down safely again.

[SecondSkin]

Thanks for that. It's hard to put things in to perspective when you're right in the thick of it.
Before I embarked on this current therapy, I was just counting on "time heals". I avoided triggers. I eventually got used to this new, reserved me. But pushing all that inward has forced itself out in other ways. I can never sleep well. I'm losing my hair. I've got acne everywhere. I'm short tempered. I don't really enjoy social situations like I used to. All reasons to get help.
And yet, bringing up all this to the surface is scary as hell. I feel so angry that I have to be challenged YET AGAIN in my life just so I can be normal (ish). It seems like a cruel joke.
I think the worst part is, other than my partner knowing what's going on, I have to put on a brave face. I chalk up the terrible dark circles under my eyes to having a kid (who actually sleeps through the night just fine). Those dark circles are really because my brain won't turn off. And with sleep comes the potential of seeing things I don't want to see.

[Open Eyes]

((SecondSkin)),

That will begin to ease up as you continue your therapy so you can finally process this trauma in a healthier way rather than what you did before. Yes, the symptoms you are discribing are very challenging, but with patience and time you can make "gains" on reducing these unwanted symptoms.

((Hugs))
OE