my childhood trauma

I was put into care at the age of 7. I was sexually abused at my first foster home and again at a later one when I was 14. I spent on average 14 months living with each family or children's home. I do not make friends easily and can count only my husband as someone to rely on. I am unsure what people think of me but I think I am a nice person. I had a child while in care who has a learning disability. My husband and I are the main carers of my granddaughter who lives with us. I have had a hard time dealing with the emotional aspects of this. I have over the years tried to move forward with my life and for the most part succeed but every 6 months or so I have days where I can't get out of bed, wish everyone would p off and at the same time need them to take over eerything for me but feel angry that I need them to cope for me. This only lasts a cupple of days but keeps happening, how do I leave the past behind me for good? Ty for reading this message xx

Have you been able to identify the trigger that brings this challenge forward? That is what you need to figure out so you can finally work through it.

In 1972 I was accidently shot in the head by a friend messing around with a shotgun. I was not supposed to make it and if I lived and came out of the coma probably be severely disabled. I do have some minor physical problems but over the past 42 years have learned to live with them. I think that the head trauma has caused me to have depression since the accident. My life since then has never been really normal. I just seem to exist as opposed to live. I guess it could be considered a PTSD. I was almost 12 at the time. I have seen Drs and taken meds but nothing seems to help.

I think my problem is near to PTSD than to any other one.
Best Regards