[Hellion]

I am done, about ready to pack ab back pack and be homeless, my stupid family cannot be straight forward about anything, and i am sick of it. But yeah i jsut dont even know anymore.

[Open Eyes]

(((Hellion)))),

I am so sorry that you are in a situation where you have to deal with family members that trigger you as they consistently practice some of their dysfunctional behavior patterns. This is something I have noticed that has been a challenge to so many that post and need support in this forum.

I am no different tbh, as I live with an individual that has some habits that can trigger me, and oh how I wish that did not happen. I live with a person that is hyper active and can be intrusive and talk over me, interupts me and often rushes me and can get in my personal space. I had to deal with it yesterday and as I was dealing with it I noticed how I respond with anger, then my brain begins to race, then I feel like I am running a marathon, then the next thing I know I feel like I am wearing a coat weighed down with invisible cement to where I get totally exhausted while this person gets even more "pushy and demanding and impatient".

So, I can imagine how you have your own challenges with people in your environment too. However, I have noticed that you have made gains in the time I have known you, even though you may not recognize it yourself because you still have some challenging symptoms.

I am sure others here in the forum can relate to wanting to pack their bags and exit their environment. That is really why I follow along with "One day at a time" because I definitely have those days myself. I do my best to work at it one day at a time, and I definitely experience those bad days. I allow myself to "self care" and ignore whatever it is that gets me wound up and do my best to decompress in my own way.

To be honest, I am always tired on Mondays because it seems the weekends are when I have to deal with this other challenging entity the most. I just keep working on acknowledging the behavior patterns that tend to trigger me and I keep working on slowly developing more coping methods. I realize that I am not going to be able to adequately get this other individual to understand how I get triggered and what I go through that tends to exhaust me so much. I just have to keep recognizing the behavior patterns that trigger me and keep working on doing my best to learn how to "not" react, I have to keep developing more skills, even though it is a challenge. I "have" made gains on it because I used to totally get wiped out not even realizing the behavior patterns that were triggering me so much. I do know it's a lot of work, however, I also know gains can be made, even though they can seem small.

Today you just want to pack your bags, it is important to acknowledge that and even vent that here. You need to be validated for that challenge because that is something you have been missing, and that is why it is important to have a place to "vent" where someone can hear you. Yes, that emotion can be strong and I am sure you have good reasons to feel that way too. It's ok to have that feeling and have it acknowledged not only by yourself, but others too.

((Caring Supportive Hugs))
OE

[Crazy Hitch]

[Hellion]

I think it is safe to say I did no packing up of bags or leaving to be homeless. I actually had drank a little too much the night I posted this so that was probably part of why I was feeling how I did...but the days leading up to that I was sort of feeling like everyones always sneaking around and just sort of like an outsider in my own house, so tried expressing that but turned into more of an argument as I wasn't exactly thinking very clearly. But yeah sometimes I really do just feel fed up...I think that is part of why I ended up getting as drunk as I did, was trying to numb myself and it backfired a little just causing me to feel worse in the morning and guilty about not waiting till I was in a more sober/rational mindset to bring up the issue.

[JaneC]

We have all been there Hellion. Hope things are a little better now. I'm glad you didn't pack up and choose to become homeless.