Recently Diagnosed with PTSD

Not the kind you get from honorably serving your country.

But a cmplex form resulting from abusive traumatic childhood environments.

Big deal right? I used to think so much good about myself. I knew I was different, but I always thought that maybe i was special - I didn't end up drug addicted, or arrested! I got to take care of my parents all the time and so on.

I felt proud of myself and thought I made the best of things....

But when my doctor (of many years, who I trust) told me I had PTSD, in what I felt was a non-chalant way - and encouraged me to read ssuch and such book and maybe go to this meetong.....

I was agast! I am embarassed. Only soldiers face such harrowing things to get PTSD....

Since then my attitude is the worst it has ever been. I read the books, identified all my quirky behaviors, and understand now why I have them.....

But I just keep feeling like - anybody could do my job better than me, or why should I go to that party - those people might sense who I am, or notice how damaged I am.

I don't want to leave the house!

I used to see beauty and awe in nature. I used to feel confident that I was a nurturing encouraging person who could brighten up any room.

But it all swept away, like a big wave came in and wiped everything good out.

Does anybody get what I mean? Has anybody had a similar experience after being diagnosed?

Salamtak, welcome to Psych Central. PTSD is something all of us can get. It is a pain we all can share.

The following forums might be of interest
Complex PTSD - Forums at Psych Central

Survivors of Abuse - Forums at Psych Central

There have been big waves in my life that I though swept away the beauty, but what they really swept away was the outmoded concepts that no longer work. Then there is rebuilding.

If you have a therapist specializing in your area or sensitive to your needs, you can work with them on pathways to healing.

Thank you for sharing your story.

I do know what you mean. You're not alone in that.
Something I still struggle with, and it really sounds like you are doing this, is letting your disorders define you.
And you are damaged. I am damaged. Everybody is damaged to some degree. But that is what makes us perfect, makes us stronger.
Don't let this diagnosis steal your identity. You've been around longer than it has.

Good luck, friend! And welcome to PC

I felt a lot like that too when I was diagnosed with PTSD. Anyone who has been through trauma can be diagnosed with it. It's just a diagnosis ... don't let it ruin you or your life. Read up on it ... research... it's not all that bad and when I do it I feel like I start understanding myself more and more. I understand you wanting to isolate but that will just make you feel worse. I felt that way and it has kind of shattered me but I am getting assistance and putting those shattered pieces back together but with more understanding of me and my past . You will too ... It sucks to hear being diagnosed with anything mentally and physically. Being diagnosed with PTSD isn't horrible ... right now in the beginning it will seem like that but now is the time to research and understand yourself more than you have before. Idk ... i was diagnosed with it 2 years ago and felt much like you but different too.

An initial diagnosis of PTSD just allows you to see that somehow you have been harmed at some point in your life. The good news is stay positive, move through the emotions you may have repressed from the experience & most people come out with PTG (post traumatic growth). You already sound very capable so show how capable you are to learn about this. Whatever negatives anyone had to go through makes them stronger, usually nicer, definitely kinder.