[Ad Intra]

Sorry for all the questions, something just happened today.

[Open Eyes]

((Ad Intra)), don't appologize, it's perfectly fine to ask.

Can you discribe what happened that you are confused about?

[Ad Intra]

I was abused as a child by my step-mom and it still bothers me. Soon I'm graduating from college and today I received a message from my dad that my step-mom wants to come to the ceremony. I went from calm to hysterical in 3 seconds flat. I was sobbing, trembling, and having a panic attack. I could hear my step-mom voice in my head and I saw her face. My memory is foggy but I got on Facebook and sent my friends a message saying, "Help, I'm not ok." I also text my dad something and some how talked her out of coming.
I'm sure I don't have PTSD, but sometimes I wonder.

[Ad Intra]

I still want to understand other people's experiences as well.

I'm sorry you're struggling.

I'm not sure what you mean by "a PTSD episode". In a flashback I'm lying on the ground thrashing about and screaming in pain; in a panic attack I'm overwhelmed, sometimes hyperventilating, unable to think straight and I have trouble communicating; when I'm "simply" reminded of the traumatic event it feels like a slap in the face and I may or may not panic, but respond either not at all or verbally agressively (for example, biting "not now", I don't call someone names or anything like that).

Again, not sure what you mean, but I hope I've answered your question.

[mixtape28]

My episodes range from competely benign to straight up leading to syncope (passing out and sometimes accompanied with seizures).

Sometimes I will get what a call falshback cascades (one leads to another leads to another and so on) and I'll be in a room full of people and no one will be able to tell whats going on. I'll sort of zone out and sometimes it passes and sometimes it becomes overwhelming and I'll get physiological reactions. I will sometimes just shake my head back and forth, I'll sometimes laugh out loud, sometimes I'll go into a panic attack and in the most extreme cases, syncope.

I was severely abused by my step-father. If I found out he was going to be at an event that I would also be attending, in whatever capaciy, I would probably have the same reaction as you initially. Which could be PTSD. For me though, it wouldn't end there. I would continue to obsess over the idea of him being there and continue to become anxious to the point where I would alter my way of acting and attitude towards others until finally refusing to go to the event. Could that be PTSD or just a more extreme case than yours but still the same condition?

One thing I've learned is trauma effects everyone differently. A doctor would be the best person to tell you if what you have is clinical PTSD.