[Rainydaiz]

I have been in therapy for a few years now and developed a very strong attachment to my t after a couple of years. Most of our work has been around that attachment and around my relationship with my mum. However, last year I shared something with my t and since then I have had PTSD symptoms. I had probably had a lot of the symptoms before- I have always had night terrors, for example. However, they have become more obvious and getting worse. I have no memories of any trauma and the couple of flashbacks I have had have been emotional ones - no visuals. Anyway. Now therapy is dealing with both areas. The problem is my t is trying very hard to get me to self soothe, to stabilise me I guess in terms of trauma treatment. But the child part of me is so stubborn and does not want my adult part to soothe her; she only wants my t. She is desperate for t to do it and rebels when my t tries to get my adult part to do it. When my t tries to ground me and bring me back to adult (when I've been in child) my little one refuses to go away. She feels rejected by my t and becomes very rebellious. My t can always get me back eventually but it's a fight. And it's a real struggle to get me to self soothe. This week my t asked if I had thought about EMDR. She is not trained so it would mean visiting another t. (No trust). If I did EMDR, it appears that you need the ability to be stable and self-regulate. I'm wondering if maybe my trauma treatment does need to be with someone else anyway but don't want to leave t. Has anyone else had this problem of attachment conflicting with trauma therapy? How did it resolve? Thanks in advance.

[lightcatcher]

Hi rainydaiz!
I have built a strong attachment with my T over the last couple of years, often with a push pull attachment from me. I have PTSD and we are trying to work through life trauma and all that stuff. I've thought abit about the attachment and if it conflicts - maybe it's a personal thing? I couldn't imagine doing any of the work, sharing my story or anything with a T I wasn't attached to (attachment didn't come straight away, but there was something there from the beginning). For me, I think a lot of healing comes through the relationship. My T is caring and fantastic, with their own faults. But I trust my T, I am aware of my own inner stuff that tries to push and pull T away, and I think T is aware of their own stuff that I bring up.
I think, and it's just my opinion, attachment can be one of the best healing opportunities through trauma. However, it requires us to be honest and upfront about ourselves and what is going on for us in the relationship. Its ok for the child in you to want your T to soothe you, talk about that. Talk about what you would want from your T. You might not get it but at least it's out there.
Sorry I have no magic answers, good luck though

[Rainydaiz]

Originally Posted by lightcatcher

Hi rainydaiz!
I have built a strong attachment with my T over the last couple of years, often with a push pull attachment from me. I have PTSD and we are trying to work through life trauma and all that stuff. I've thought abit about the attachment and if it conflicts - maybe it's a personal thing? I couldn't imagine doing any of the work, sharing my story or anything with a T I wasn't attached to (attachment didn't come straight away, but there was something there from the beginning). For me, I think a lot of healing comes through the relationship. My T is caring and fantastic, with their own faults. But I trust my T, I am aware of my own inner stuff that tries to push and pull T away, and I think T is aware of their own stuff that I bring up.
I think, and it's just my opinion, attachment can be one of the best healing opportunities through trauma. However, it requires us to be honest and upfront about ourselves and what is going on for us in the relationship. Its ok for the child in you to want your T to soothe you, talk about that. Talk about what you would want from your T. You might not get it but at least it's out there.
Sorry I have no magic answers, good luck though

Firstly, thanks so much for taking the time to reply, I was beginning to get worried no-one would (triggering abandonment issues)! I agree with everything you said- it was helpful to hear it from someone else's point of view. I really agree that I wouldn't have managed to do half the work I have if I hadn't had the attachment to my t. It was useful to hear that you think attachment can help heal trauma. All the trauma work I am doing is fairly new to me. I know you might not have the magic answers (unfortunately I don't think there are any) but you have helped enormously through replying and letting me know what you think. I appreciate it.