[lightcatcher]

Lately I've been feeling like I'm faking life.
Get up and do things, smile when you should, make small talk when you should, laugh when you know you should. When people ask how you are you smile say good - coz they don't want/need your answer of 'I don't know/hopeless'.
Feel none of it.
I don't think this is something new, pretty sure it's been this way a lot of my life. Maybe the difficulty now is that I know it's happening, and that is worse. You know you should be feeling the feelings of happiness, laughter, sadness but there is nothing - and that is frightening/frustrating.
Why does progression feel like regression? What a sh*tty place to be.

[possum220]

Is there anything that you would like to do? Anything that may help you to feel better?

[lightcatcher]

Originally Posted by possum220

Is there anything that you would like to do? Anything that may help you to feel better?

Thanks possum! I make myself walk and mindfully watch the change of seasons, im trying out some meditation.
Things can feel good for a time, like being alone feels good - then like a switch it's not.
I think it's about riding it out, talking it out with my T.

Do other people feel this way? What do you do when you feel like that?

Thanks again possum

[catlover1]

I'm to the point that faking it isn't even possible anymore most times. However, I am still able to fake it enough to make it to work more often than not. But, yes, I do feel that way too. I'm sorry, I have no suggestions. I simply feel...lost

[hard2smile]

Hi Lightcatcher, you are definitely not alone in your feelings. I also feel as though I am moving through life on auto pilot. Today's society seems to have little patience or empathy for people/situations that create inconvenience or discomfort. It's more acceptable to mask your feelings and not disrupt the "harmony" of the status quo. It reminds of the movie Invasion of The Body Snatchers where you were safe as long as you did not display emotions. I have discovered that I must have an outlet for uninhibited raw self expression. It is essential to preserving my mental and physical health. When I do not have an outlet for my suppressed emotions, (whether with a therapist, support group, confidant, through vigorous exercise, or a casual hike) the depression consumes me.

possum220 gave sage advice..go DO something that makes you feel again.

All the best to you.

[Open Eyes]

When you say progression, are you talking about progress in therapy discussing your history and working through it?

[lightcatcher]

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

When you say progression, are you talking about progress in therapy discussing your history and working through it?

That I am OE. Ive opened up with T about more of my history, and seems like I've found myself in this strange fake it place?

[lightcatcher]

Originally Posted by hard2smile

Hi Lightcatcher, you are definitely not alone in your feelings. I also feel as though I am moving through life on auto pilot. Today's society seems to have little patience or empathy for people/situations that create inconvenience or discomfort. It's more acceptable to mask your feelings and not disrupt the "harmony" of the status quo. It reminds of the movie Invasion of The Body Snatchers where you were safe as long as you did not display emotions. I have discovered that I must have an outlet for uninhibited raw self expression. It is essential to preserving my mental and physical health. When I do not have an outlet for my suppressed emotions, (whether with a therapist, support group, confidant, through vigorous exercise, or a casual hike) the depression consumes me.

possum220 gave sage advice..go DO something that makes you feel again.

All the best to you.

Thanks hard2smile! Your post made me think a bit about the faking it part. I realised its not so much faking feelings as sometimes faking I am also not feeling!
An example would be how I feel about world news, or a client I might be working with or an add on tv that makes me wanna cry. I don't think people are overly interested in your actual true feelings either.
The flipside to the coin of feeling nothing eh! All or nothing!

[JaneC]

Faking it, yes. Sometimes it is the only way to get through life, or so it seems for me anyway.

Something I mentioned in passing a couple of sessions ago and I thought maybe I was just blasé at the time because I felt nothing, and my T said....no, in fact, you were probably not feeling at all. It seems I have done that a lot in life, perhaps most of my life. Just got on with it, pretending all was ok........

But actually I wasn't feeling at all, which meant I was also not feeling the good things.

Now, right now..........I feel nothing. Feeling nothing and faking it daily. It is sad though. for me at least.

Sorry you're feeling this way lightcatcher, but it sounds like you are more proactive about doing things about it. That's great!