Unspecified Trauma- and Stressor-Related Disorder?

Nike007 · Jul 29, 2015, 11:54 PM

Hello people from here. I try not to post here because I don't have PTSD, but I feel I have a lot relating to it.

Let me give you a general description. If you want more detail, look for my post in PTSD (or Complex PTSD) section.

(Warning!!!: This story contains scenes of bullying and verbal abuse. Nothing is described in detail, but for people whom it might trigger. You have been warned.)

Basically, as a young child, I have been bullied both verbally and physically, but mainly verbally (I think only physically like 1-3 times). Then at the end of grade 5, my parents got a divorce. Of course, I didn't know what it meant at the time, and to be honest, I don't truly know when I knew what it meant, but anyways. That was my traumatic turning point. My mom got to see us for 60% while my dad 40. Not only my parents got divorce, but my mom decided to move 4 hours away. Since I lived with my mom more often, I also changed schools. I was kinda happy because of the bullying issues, but I did have one friend that was really nice to me. Then we stayed there for two years. Also, to add in, I had social anxiety disorder underlying since kindergarten. I just recently got social anxiety diagnosed. So I can barely make friends, starting my entire life again with new people, new town, new life situation. Life is really stressful. After me being able to get people to know and at least try to like me after 1 year, life was starting to get better again. I was stilled bullied, just verbally from time-to-time, but I was happy as I could get (which then I was starting to develop persistent depressive disorder so). Then after one more year, my mom decides to get married to someone she was only dating for 1-2 years, makes us all move again to another town an hour away this time with the husband's kids that we only met once before we moved in with each other. It is now 5 hours away from my dads, and I basically go there every weekend. My mom was the one that decided to move so far up, but then she is diagnosed with a rare disease that she had basically her entire life due to head trauma as a kid. My mom gets angry a lot and likes to blame her health issue on it a lot. Yes, I understand you can't control it, and yes, it is a symptom, but it shouldn't be used as an excuse for all your problems. Anyways, she complains to my dad about anything through email almost everyday. When my mom is mad at my dad, she tells me what she is mad at by phone, and she says not nice things usually. I am sad about it, but I live. The day after that though my mom is saying how much she misses me. Sigh. I am so confused.

So that is my story. I am so stressed all the time because of this divorce issue that I feel like I am losing myself inside. I feel I am getting more insane the longer this lasts. I can't talk about mental health with my family because it is stigmatized throughout my household. My dad doesn't say anything about it, which is a good and bad thing. He doesn't try to support me and still makes fun of my social anxiety, even though he knows I have a disorder. I am trying, but he is expecting me to do too much too quickly. Same with my mom.

I have looked for some name that would describe me and my symptoms so I can get the right treatment. PTSD would be an exact fit if this would be considered under the first category: has to be death, violent, or sexual (pretty sure). So then I looked at adjustment disorder, and I thought it would fit me because of divorce and stuff, but then it states that it can't be longer than 6 months and this has gone on for 5 years. So I moved onto specific trauma- and stressor-related disorders. The closest one I found was adjustment disorder persisting longer than 6 months, but then it follows with "without prolonged duration of stressor" and I was like "this stressor is still going on for 5 years, so I don't think this one would work". My conclusion would be unspecified trauma- and stressor-related disorder. Again, I know most of you will say only a MH professional can diagnose you. I know. But I don't want to bring this issue up until I am 18. Then I don't have to tell my parents

Thank you for reading all the way to here. I was just wondering on your opinion(s) about this and what you think I should do. Is this even considered a trauma? I know it doesn't really "matter" on the label, but having some knowledge what it might be before diagnosis would help me understand myself and prepare myself. Also, it probably matters for medication. Thanks again.

Open Eyes · Jul 30, 2015, 06:30 PM

Well, if you were diagnosed with social anxiety when you were young, your parents should have read up on it and learned how to help you. It should have also been discussed with your teachers so they could also be supportive with you. It is not having that challenge that is the problem, it is taking steps to help the child so the child can slowly learn how to over come it. Also, your mother should not be using you or going through you to express anger etc. with your father. You are the child and are not responsible for "her" issues with your father.

I do think it is good that you moved and got away from the individuals that were bullying you. It's lesson to learn that with bullies, the best thing to do is walk away from them "if" a person can.

I can understand "why" you would relate to some ptsd symptoms, after all ptsd is also an anxiety disorder, and it can make it hard to get along with others because of the anxiety that can be quite crippling too.

I think you can learn skills in how to manage your symptoms. Have you looked up social anxiety as well as perhaps finding some ways to help manage it?

I am sorry that your parents are not very supportive and that has left you feeling you just need to not talk about it. I have been challenged that way myself, even been treated badly for genuinely struggling with something that is "not my fault". When that happens, one has to find support outside the family unit. You are lucky in that you have the internet to help you with that, often many did not have that option and just struggled alone. With the internet you can find others that can relate and can even share the things they have learned that has helped them manage it better.

It's important to remember Nike007, there is no such thing as "perfect" therefore you will never come across another person who is perfect, we all have our faults. There is a lot things you can learn and read about on the net, even here at PC too. You are not alone in having challenges, there are many people that do. So do your best to read and learn and find support and PC is actually a nice place to meet others, many who struggle and are supportive. Then when you get older as you say you don't want your parents to know, you can work on finding a good therapist that can help you too.

((Caring Hugs))
OE

Nike007 · Jul 31, 2015, 06:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

Well, if you were diagnosed with social anxiety when you were young, your parents should have read up on it and learned how to help you. It should have also been discussed with your teachers so they could also be supportive with you. It is not having that challenge that is the problem, it is taking steps to help the child so the child can slowly learn how to over come it. Also, your mother should not be using you or going through you to express anger etc. with your father. You are the child and are not responsible for "her" issues with your father.

I do think it is good that you moved and got away from the individuals that were bullying you. It's lesson to learn that with bullies, the best thing to do is walk away from them "if" a person can.

I can understand "why" you would relate to some ptsd symptoms, after all ptsd is also an anxiety disorder, and it can make it hard to get along with others because of the anxiety that can be quite crippling too.

I think you can learn skills in how to manage your symptoms. Have you looked up social anxiety as well as perhaps finding some ways to help manage it?

I am sorry that your parents are not very supportive and that has left you feeling you just need to not talk about it. I have been challenged that way myself, even been treated badly for genuinely struggling with something that is "not my fault". When that happens, one has to find support outside the family unit. You are lucky in that you have the internet to help you with that, often many did not have that option and just struggled alone. With the internet you can find others that can relate and can even share the things they have learned that has helped them manage it better.

It's important to remember Nike007, there is no such thing as "perfect" therefore you will never come across another person who is perfect, we all have our faults. There is a lot things you can learn and read about on the net, even here at PC too. You are not alone in having challenges, there are many people that do. So do your best to read and learn and find support and PC is actually a nice place to meet others, many who struggle and are supportive. Then when you get older as you say you don't want your parents to know, you can work on finding a good therapist that can help you too.

((Caring Hugs))
OE

Sorry, I probably didn't work that right. I was not diagnosed with social anxiety as a kid. Everyone thought I was extremely shy. I know that teachers told my parents that I would not talk basically the entire year (selective mutism), but they didn't do anything about that. Mental health has never been in my parents' lives before until me. My dad was diagnosed with ADHD as a kid, but he doesn't do anything about it anymore.

My mom uses me to express her anger at times. I can't really do much about that, but it sucks royally.

Well, it was an anxiety disorder. They have moved it from the anxiety disorder category to a new category called "trauma and stressor disorders". But yes, I know there is a lot of anxiety between the two.

A bit, but not really. Maybe I should do that more. It would probably help me in the near future, if not now.

Thank you for the support

.