Finding the right therapist

I have a problem. It is me being too sensitive. Now whenever I talk to a therapist I expect perfection. I want them to be just right and be supportive of me and not show any discomfort or judgement.

My trauma is that I talked about several sexual incidents in front of my family several times and one time in front of my psychiatrist and his assistant and my parents in graphic detail and I got scarred by these incidents. Now when I go outside or sometimes inside the house as well I get in this condition where I feel like people are aware of my thoughts and can see my thoughts and can see through me basically. This is really traumatizing because I feel they know shameful stuff about me. And nothing helps.... except taking 10 or 12 sleeping pills to make me really drowsy so that the cycle of the thoughts are broken.

Now when I go to a therapist I wana talk about trauma but I feel like the therapist is judging me because it is about sexual incidents and talking about them in front of my family. I feel judged or I feel the therapist is getting uncomfortable.

I talked to a therapist today and she sounded really loud and insensitive, now I say that because she did sound like that. But just talking to her on the phone I now have negative thoughts about her and I am so sensitive that I am predicting that she is going to be loud and overbearing.

How did you find your therapist and how did you cope with being too sensitive?

It took me a while to find the right therapist, and that is not unusual either. A therapist for PTSD has to know how to treat patients with PTSD, understand that patients do get triggered and the patient must feel "safe" with the therapist.

Do your best to not feed into the negative feelings you have about yourself or that you did something wrong by talking about how you were abused. It was good that you spoke up, if people know you will speak up they will be less likely to victimize you.

((Supportive Hugs))
OE

The sexual incidents weren't abusive in nature. They were just odd sexual incidents and I was battling a lot of anxiety and obsessive thoughts and I thought if I talked about those, for which I was feeling guilty, maybe I would be cured of obsessive thoughts and anxiety. But it had the opposite effect. It ruined my life.

Also people sense my anxiety or whatever this is. They act weird around me or give me looks or stares and people sense something from me which gives them the idea that I am a bad person. I don't know how to explain it other than to say I give out vibes and people give me a hard time and think I am a bad person by default.

ugh. I've been labelled as "hypersensitive" (covers a multitude of sins as in not so sensitive or good therapists..)

people sense my anxiety too . So much so I've given up on people and prefer bears

I don't think anyone is as sensitive as me. When talking about my shame(sexual incidents which I talked about in front of my psychiatrist, his assistant and my parents) if I feel the slightest discomfort or judgement from the therapist then it becomes useless sharing. I want TO KNOW that my therapist is WHOLE HEARTEDLY listening and not judging or becoming uncomfortable.

You could be right, that no one is as sensitive as you.

I kinda relate as even the GP I saw recently looked uncomfortable, at one point, I thought, and unlike doctors I've seen in the past, she tried to be helpful (within the microscopic time limits...)

it takes time to find the right therapist. my therapist that I have now I feel comfortable with her. she specializes in anxiety and depression she helped me w my PTSD back in December of last year cuz of what my dad did to me four years ago after my mom died . I went through hell and back when my therapist wanted me to revisit my past about what my dad did to me four years ago.

All of my therapists were female
They all sucked.
All they wanted to do is take my money
& tell me how men think and act.

I have suffered a lot of sexual
abuse. Most of it as a child.

I began to also have Holocaust nightmares
at age 13. They have lasted 30 years.

Have you tried searching for a therapist that has
the same spiritual / religious/ beliefs as you do?

I have been in therapy for about 1.5 yrs now
with my Rabbi. He is also a licensed therapist.

He has been able to get the nightmares to stop.
I am very sensitive. I feel like my PTSD is like
living in a war zone. No one has been able to help
me,heal like he has. I feel that it was the spiritual
aspect that had been missing, prior to all of
my other therapy sessions.

It took me a couple therapists to find mine but I'm so glad I did! I've only been with him for a few months and I've already progressed further than the years spent with my last therapists.

I'm similar to you-I have a very hard time trusting people and so people in the position he's in I often hold to the standard of perfection and don't allow any room for error. I used to be terrified he was judging me or just didn't care at all. Finally I just told him this and he and I had a great conversation that left me completely reassured! I highly recommend just talking to him about it!