[confusedbyself]

Ok, I have been diagnosed with ptsd ands working with a t weekly but we haven't really addressed any trauma directly, just alluded to 'stuff' happening throughout my childhood. I don't have many memories before the age of 7 or 8 and the suspicion is there is some real reasons for this. I have panic attacks, unexplainable times of terror and emotional takeovers, for a lack of a better way to explain it. When my t asked about flashbacks, I have never really relived anything (there is some things in my teen/young adult years that try to get into my head but I push them out before they can get me).

For a while now, I am starting to hear short statements/voices in my head that are detailed enough to know they are about bad stuff. I am not certain if this is the start of what is known as flashbacks because I am not living something but get anxious when I hear the statements and it seems like it is slowly increasing bya few words or details every once in a while.

I am also scared that there is a chance that it is just my imagination running crazy. My t and I have not really begun talking about any specifics but have discussed the possibility and so I wonder if that could have been enough to make mt brain just create something. But at the same time, it feels real and bad and I get scared and feel bad when the voices come.

For those with ptsd, dies this sound familiar to you? I have been having several things syst up over the last month and I don't know if something is about to break or I am just letting my imagination get away with me.

[lowinmood]

yes it does sound familiar, do the voices represent someone? are they the voice of your perpetrator?

if you are having therapy, which you are, your mind is going back and trying to help you process the past, so hearing the voice of your perpetrator is a flashback, an auditory one.

But it's scary, because it feels real, but it's your mind remembering things. remembering what people said to you and what power they had over you.

[confusedbyself]

I think it is... that is part of the problem, the earliest issue that I suspect is NOT in my memory... These 'voices' (I don't hear them outside, but inside like audible thoughts really) are of the person I suspect and what is being said is what I have been suspicious is there.

Thanks, I am really having a roller coaster of crazy things happening the last couple of weeks and some of it is so strange to me that I am not certain. I have been used to 'MY' version of panic attacks for many years, but some of this has not been familiar.

Thanks for the input lowinmood!

[ChipperMonkey]

It sounds like you're having emotional flashbacks. You're "reliving" feelings from the past.

Most therapists (and many trauma therapists) don't really understand emotional flashbacks. Check out Pete Walker's website. It's full of information on emotional flashbacks.

Therapists are NOTORIOUS for asking if you've had a flashback but never explaining the full scope of what flashbacks are. Yes, many are visual (re: the typical notion of what a flashback is) but many are not visual. I can't say for sure that I've ever had a visual flashback, but I have had emotional flashbacks since I was very young.

[confusedbyself]

Originally Posted by ChipperMonkey

It sounds like you're having emotional flashbacks. You're "reliving" feelings from the past.

Most therapists (and many trauma therapists) don't really understand emotional flashbacks. Check out Pete Walker's website. It's full of information on emotional flashbacks.

Therapists are NOTORIOUS for asking if you've had a flashback but never explaining the full scope of what flashbacks are. Yes, many are visual (re: the typical notion of what a flashback is) but many are not visual. I can't say for sure that I've ever had a visual flashback, but I have had emotional flashbacks since I was very young.

Thanks ChipperMonkey... that all sounds very spot on to me. I do NOT like this and sure hope it will calm as we progress. Seems like the closer we get to working on 'stuff' the more of this junk keeps coming up.

Thanks for the insight!

[lowinmood]

flashbacks can come in many forms, audio, visual, smells or all 3 at the same time.

grounding techniques can work, such as mindfulness or exercise such as yoga, being kind to yourself and not giving up on yourself, knowing that your safe now and it's just a memory, and memory that wants healing. You got through the actual stuff, so you will find the strength to get through the memories.