[Focus62]

Waiting to be seen by a "behavioral counselor." I'm not going inpatient but I never thought I'd wind up here for PTSD. Since Saturday night (Monday morning here right now) I've been in and out of touch with reality, flashbacks near constant...I came this morning because I'm so agitated and haven't slept in two days. My current anxiety meds aren't working and my pdoc and I have been trying to figure that out but right now, this is where I need to be. I've been so terrified the last two days, feeling like I'm about to die. Does this ever end? Somebody please tell me it does. I hope they can help me some...if nothing else, just give me meds to knock me out (I do not currently take a benzo). I'm so tired of this.

I hope you soon get the help you need.

[Frankbtl]

Hi Focus,

If "winding up there" gets you some of the help you really need that's the most important thing, and major kudos for taking that step and seeking that help
My thoughts and best wishes are with you

Alison

[Fightharder]

Im sorry that you are in this stress
You know sometime I feel in that way, nothing that you hear look like is helping
I have tried yoga and meditation, but sometime don't help me
Is like if soothing inside of you thorax is going to explode
I send you all of my blessings and whises about all this finish soon
Is bad with our health because is energy wasted that make us feel tired
Wishing you the best

[Out There]

Sending you hugs Focus.

Focus 62, (((hugs))) i can say yes it does end. I have PTSD and have suffered for years with it. I can only say there were days i could not even live in the moment it was second by second. I found if i just cried i could get the poison out of my system, the negative thought patterns and bad memories. Yes, go inpatient and let them take care of you for a while, let the professionals help you back onto stable footing. Ask for help when you need it and then down the road you can return the favor with another in need. tc

hugs.
I'm very glad that you are seeking help and you know you need it
That's a big step in and of itself

I hope that you will keep us updated on what ends up happening!

[Focus62]

Well I was there for four hours, I got taken back really quickly but then spent 3 hours waiting around for the damn counselor to come in and see me. This entire time I was basically having a panic attack and pacing around inside the tiny room they put me in... The counselor came in and talked to me (while I continued to pace - I guess it didn't bother her so much), deemed I wasn't a danger to myself or others and called my current pdoc to figure out medication. They sent me home with a script to klonopin. Unfortunately for me, as I learned after taking a klonopin, I happen to be part of the 5% of people that benzos make crazier rather than actually sedate you. I got super angry and agitated and didn't sleep very much. I started to have auditory hallucinations too... I white-knuckled my way through the night and called my pdoc this morning who made an emergency appointment with me for this afternoon to adjust meds again to hopefully find something that will help me calm down and sleep. We've created more of a plan, hoping the new medication combo will work tonight.

It's a work in progress. I just really hope I can sleep more...if I sleep more I know I will feel better. Thanks for supportive messages, I needed to read those.

[Frankbtl]

Hi Focus,

Thanks from me for the up-date!!
Well it sounds like you had an incredibly tough day/s!!
And I'm impressed with your strength in white-knuckling it through everything!!!
At least it sounds like there may be a positive in the new med combo and the improved plan........wishing you all the best..........as well as some improved sleep!!



Alison

[DesigningWoman]

I was touch and go about having to go to the hospital myself last week. I was put on a starting dose of Latuda and had two intense triggering nightmares.
No more Latuda for me.
It took me days to recover while having disassociation spells and panic episodes. It got so bad my therapist asked me not to drive for a couple days. I live alone so that was very tough.
I am back driving and feeling more stable now.
I hope time has helped you too.
Thinking good thoughts for you.
DW

[Focus62]

I hope today finds you feeling a little more peaceful DW. It is tough...that's for sure. I'm still contemplating inpatient care but despite being insured, I just don't think I have the funds for it. Plus, I'm near the end of the semester in my graduate program and missing anything now would really screw me over...but it all adds to my stress level. Feels impossible most days...

[DesigningWoman]

Originally Posted by Focus62

I hope today finds you feeling a little more peaceful DW. It is tough...that's for sure. I'm still contemplating inpatient care but despite being insured, I just don't think I have the funds for it. Plus, I'm near the end of the semester in my graduate program and missing anything now would really screw me over...but it all adds to my stress level. Feels impossible most days...

I'm a grad student too. I am totally in the same boat. I definitely can't afford in patient now financially or any other way. I understand it feels overwhelming and impossible.
Living with all this I start to wonder so when do I get to have a semi-normal life with semi-normal problems like dating and getting projects completed?
For instance, Today I had a very serious mental episode and feel like weeping forever because my two closest people, my sister and best friend, are both MIA and I really need to talk. Then I feel ashamed that I rely on them so much that apparently I can't keep myself together when they are both busy. I feel a total angry, sad wreck. Oh I have two class assignments to finish tonight, due one tonight and one tomorrow.
It feels awful sometimes.