memories

im just wondering if ptsd causes repressing memories... and bad memory...
like i forget everything and i cant remember any of my child hood (or even yesterday or this morning i cant remember...) besides like 1 or 2 minutes here and there... just black holes...
dunno what to do about it...

wanna do hypnosis stuff but scared of what it might bring out of me...

i take that back... i remember abuse... i remember that.... and the seperation... but its just like a few moments here and there...

edit:

more i think about it only thing i really remember is abuse...

You need to discuss this with a pdoc or therapist. However I do know I have had memory blocks related to my abuse. For me it wasn't so much that I couldn't remember is that Actively avoided doing so. When my PTSD got really bad, I couldn't stop remembering and having flashbacks. That situation has greatly improved with therapy and meds.
I have a large span of time where I have major memory loss (like a decade) due to a prescription med that damages the memory retrieval process. It's insanely frustrating to try and remember a time and find nothing but a blank. Ex. I know I had a 21st birthday. But I can not recall anything relating to that. I don't know what I did or how it felt. Nada. A huge gaping black hole.
So I do understand how frustrating memory loss can be. Try and relax. The more you struggle and tense up, the more frustrated and anxious you will be. Be kind to yourself. Think about getting a pdoc or skilled therapist's opinion to how to proceed.

trying to get in with a pdoc... definitely gonna bring it up... just hope the new pdoc will listen to me - unlike the old one...
i know i need therapy too, its just hard for me to do it because i cant drive ... im terrified of it - i have trouble riding :/ just feels like gonna hit everything and everyone, all the cars look like they are running into me and i just see the car running off the road and blabla.. i wish we had teleport machines

My PTSD is from childhood and it created a repressed memory. Its actually a form of childhood PTSD, to dissociate and never recollect that it happened. Mine first started appearing in strange ways. I wasn't going to therapy, I wasn't more stressed out than normal. In fact, I was pretty happy. I was in remission and had finally gotten a job and had moved in with my fiance. I take the city bus everywhere because I've never gotten around to getting a licence and I can't afford a car. Well, I was sitting at a bus stop (that I didn't normally wait at) and this guy starts coming onto me. His eyes weren't right. They weren't normal, kind of crazed. It sent a jolt through me. While I was on the bus I began having a weird feeling in my gut. I couldn't shake this weird feeling and later that night, I had my first flashback. I left it alone for a few solid months. Then another one happened. The second one rocked me bad and I couldn't make myself shake it. Seven months now and they've only gotten more frequent, more intense (vivid) and I find myself depersonalizing and dissociating from everything in my surroundings.
So, from experience I can say that childhood PTSD can very effectively cause dissociation and repression. There is a huge period of my childhood that I don't remember following the event. Among other things, I don't remember periods of my childhood when my parents were drinking heavier than whales in water. The most I remember are flashes of abuse and then its gone. I don't poke at those too much because I already remember enough that I don't like and I can't handle any more right now. Will you have repressed memories, I don't know and I hope not. I think you should talk to a therapist before pursuing the hypnoses thing, see if they advise it. If you're dealing with a lot right now, they might not want you to pursue it quite yet. Or they could think it'd be a way to help you sort through everything and advise it. In the end, its about what you think you can handle and what's best for you.

why would i forget so much though... its all blank

im 26 years old and i cant remember anything...
is it possible to get stuck in dp/dr state...?

shouldnt i have good memories...?
or plain memories..?
boring..?
something...

i feel so bad anyway i just feel like... jump in the cold water head first... then hopefully T or someone throw mea life preserver... ill survive... maybe hurt and bleeding and lungs full of icy water... but whatever... i want my memory back...

Sometimes you don't. I sure didn't, it just happened. In fact the reason I'm replying so late is because I just spent two weeks at a hospital due to my PTSD and depression. If you know you want some memories back then you can go to a hypnosis. Just be sure that you really do want it.