Can't handle it anymore

The stress is eating me alive. I spent the whole day crying, still am. On top of everything I've already got going on, and believe me there are several things causing severe stress, there's something wrong with my dog. I have to take him to the vet tomorrow, but I had to change the time, because I have a subpoena to be in court and I don't think I can get out of it. I'm worried about him. I'm scared of what the vet will say. I'm terrified that I won't be coming home with him tomorrow. And it's my fault. I should have had the mass on his head removed sooner. He's old and it wasn't bothering him, so I figured it was fine to leave it. Now he's suffering because of me. I can't handle this. I feel like I'm going to suffocate. In a terrible person. I should have taken better care of him.

You're not a terrible person. You thought your dog was okay until recently. Now you'll take care of him because you love him. Do your best and that will be enough.