[equiiaddict]

So I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for nearly a year. This is my first real experience closely interacting with someone who has PTSD. He was a combat OIF vet who served several years in the army (infantry) and was injured by an IED so he was medically released, given full retirement and received a purple heart. He has since undergone a lot of treatment and rehabilitation to get himself back on track. If you looked at him you'd never be able to guess that his back was once really messed up, etc. He is truly an amazing human being. He is selfless, caring, intelligent, romantic, fun, the list goes on and on. We have a mostly wonderful relationship.
But the PTSD is what gets us. He is extremely easy to set off, sometimes it feels like I have to walk on eggshells around him and go along with a lot of what he says just so I don't to deal with him flipping out. He is highly suspicious and doesn't like being questioned. He's gotten physical with me twice, though that was after I'd been instigating and starting crap with him when we were both drunk and being stupid. He's terrible at admitting that he's wrong and apologizing, though he will do it if he knows that I'm really upset about something.
Basically, the PTSD causes a huge strain on our relationship and obviously that's not his fault nor am I Implying that. I love him and I want to be as supportive as I possibly can. He's told me countless times that I've helped him a lot. Does anyone have any tips or advice or even stories of your own that you could share? I just want to know how I can better deal with this and communicate more effectively with him, etc. I'm sorry this was so long, btw.

[phoenix7]

first the drinking isn't going to help it will just make the symptoms worse and more easy to access -

he has to learn and you too what his triggers are - when he gets upset after he is calm that's the time to discuss what went on and how it happened

PTSD is not an excuse to get physical with someone - there is NO EXCUSE to get physical - if he feels like that then he needs to give himself a time out - leave the room till he is calm - when my anger got explosive I would remove myself from whee there were people

is he getting councilling? seeing a therapist? he needs help to get through this - meds may also help in the short term to help him deal with his probs but therapy is what gets you through

there is a combat section here so maybe post there for ideas

living on eggshells is no way to live for either of you

there is a book that is really good to help you understand and would prob help him too - its called the PTSD sourcebook - its the best book ive read and its really easy to read - no jargon - or technical stuff - which is why I liked it - I had lots of ah ha! moments when I read it - if you cant afford to buy it then try the local library-

please for both your safety's let him know that violence will not be tolerated - its a slippery slope and you don't want to go there

stay safe and if I can help PM me

P7

[Michalx09]

I used to be your boyfriend. My husband hardly knew how to act...what to say..how to help...but most importantly did not want to set off any of my triggers. The best thing he ever did for me was provide space, a safe place, patience and grace. He understood that I was having troubles and he let me work through them. I think if he had pushed me to be better or allowed his own insecurities to affect me we would not have made it. I just needed someone to silently support me, someone who I knew wasn't going to leave me no matter what had happened, and someone to lean into to hold me up when the times got rough!